Do you think OS people are happier than non-OS people?

[Deleted User]

Do you now how rare a beastie you are Piperlynn, to actually understand, to be in that same place as us, it's an enormous relief to know that we're not the only ones to be giving the old heave ho to all that most of the rest of humanity holds dear in order to regain our identity and to liberate our souls.  Thank you a gazillionfold! xxx.

Can I ask a question?  How many others have found the will and the way to stop being in the herd mentality that is life in 2020? to have lived in and rejected the modern 'normal' with it's materialism, it's phrenetic rushing, it's expectation of conformity to a common standard in all things, it's pedestalisation of children born who now expect to be treated like princes and princesses and must have the same as their peers or be ostracised by them.  It isn't an easy decision to make but it has been the most rewarding one we've ever come to and both our daughters have bought in to their own vision of it and are also living what amounts to an individual alternative lifestyle.

pickledonionspaceraider

I think comparison is the thief of joy and we shouldn't do it

Just my tuppence worth

Elisheba

Angel_Jenny said:

Just curious really! 
I have always had pretty simple goals, likes, dreams etc. Around the 1 year anniversary of losing my brother and grandad I got a bit self reflective and realised that, although I love the simple pleasures of gardening, baking, sewing, reading, letter writing, I don't really do any of those things any more. And I haven't replaced them with anything positive. More mindless television viewing and internet scrolling. x

It is only recently that I acknowledged that me losing interest in all the little things I liked doing, and spending a lot more timer zoning out in front of the TV or similar, was a sign of depression after my father's death.  As well as being gentle with yourself, you might like to consider speaking to the doctor regarding medication and therapy?  It has certainly helped me. 

PipneyJane

Angel_Jenny said:

Just curious really! 
I have always had pretty simple goals, likes, dreams etc. Around the 1 year anniversary of losing my brother and grandad I got a bit self reflective and realised that, although I love the simple pleasures of gardening, baking, sewing, reading, letter writing, I don't really do any of those things any more. And I haven't replaced them with anything positive. More mindless television viewing and internet scrolling. x

Firstly, @Angel_Jenny , I’d like to give you a big hug.  Grief is not linear.  There isn’t a cut-off point, beyond which you don’t miss the person or feel the pain.  There are days when you won’t think of them, days when you think of them but it doesn’t hurt and days when, despite it being XX years since they died, that you wish with all your heart they were with you and the pain is as acute as the first time you felt it.  My Dad died in May 1989, a month before I moved to the UK.  When I arrived, I was confronted with all the Father’s Day advertising and it hurt.  (Father’s Day in Australia is in September.). Decades later, it still brings the pain back.

To answer your question, I think it depends.  It depends whether the person living Old Style embraces the lifestyle or feels it is a punishment that they have to get through because of their debts/reduced income [delete as appropriate].  

I’m a lot like @MrsLurcherwalker.  I live this way because, once I accepted me for me, I realised that living OS gave me the freedom to live life the way I want to live it.  I love to travel, to read, to craft, to go to concerts and to spend time with people that I care about, so those things are things I prioritise.  I don’t care a damn about my nails or having the latest fashions or a posh car.   I’m low maintenance.

pickledonionspaceraider said:

I think comparison is the thief of joy and we shouldn't do it

Just my tuppence worth

Absolutely @pickledonionspaceraider.  So true that it bears repeating.

- Pip

pollyanna_26

OS has been my way since my post war childhood. It's the way I was raised and what got us through tough years after the early death of my late husband. I did become a real life victim later in life but the only reminder was to add "No ones ever gonna keep me down again" to my life mantras following an abusive 2nd marriage.

I have furniture that was handmade for me nearly 30 years ago by a master cabinetmaker and I love and cherish every piece.

All my adult offspring grew up learning to cook from scratch and develop an interest in crafts; gardening and good old make do and mend.

The only way Lynn and I seem to differ is I paint on the face. 20 years fighting a wrong diagnosis for my youngest meant eveytime I faced yet another consultant I was suited and booted with a nice shiny graduated bob. I don't buy many clothes but those I do are good but usually bought in sales . I keep my shoes and boots repaired and polished . My daughter is a trained hair stylist so it's years since I've been to the hairdressers. My dad and grandads taught me gardening as a very young child.

Some people I know think I'm wealthy. I'm not. I lived very simply to pay off the mortgage and have never gone into debt. Every year at some point my oldest coat comes out. Pure wool , fitted and ankle length from the days M&S sold quality clothing. I bought that in 2001 and it's as good as the day I bought it.

I'll never be sucked in by trends etc. I know a number of people who buy kitchen appliances repeatedly because the colour is no longer fashionable.

I avoided all the chatter about Mrs Hinch until I glanced at her first book in SBs. I can;t believe so many people were buying all the stuff as though it would change their lives. it's cleaning not rocket science and much of what she recommended buying was very environmentally unfriendly. An easy way to make money but not my way.

polly

PollyWollyDoodle

I enjoy sewing, growing things, charity shopping, baking bread, cooking from scratch and so on - but some of my friends would find  my lifestyle absolute purgatory. I am very happy, but I think that is because I’m following my personal dream, not because of what I do. 

I can’t manage to quote, but I endorse what pickledonionspaceraider says above. Do what makes you happy, and don’t try and compare yourself with others; that’s the recipe for happiness. 

PasturesNew

It's a question of wealth.  Some are "poverty tourists", doing the old style thing "for fun", but they could drop it in a heartbeat and fly off on a holiday if somebody asked them to.  They enjoy it as it's a choice. 

Others do it because you can only spend £1 once... and there are no more coming from where you got that one.  They're doing it just to get by, perchance to have the luxury of spending any saving on something important, like having the heating on an extra half hour.  They don't "enjoy" it so much. 

[Deleted User]

I think there is great peace of mind and contentment to be found in living within or slightly under your means and doing the very best job you can with what you actually DO have.  It's perhaps valuing the skills you have that allow you to make £1 do the job of £2, appreciating things in life that don't cost anything but you have to 'see' them and learn to appreciate that not all things that make you happy can be purchased. My childhood was in extreme poverty, holes in shoes stuffed with cardboard and chilblains poverty and there was one room heated in the house, no indoor loo or bathroom and no hot water, just a cold tap in the kitchen.  I only had school uniform, and one of everything in that so weekends I had no clothes to wear while it was washed and made some nightclothes from an old thin split sheet that was to be thrown away.  It focuses your mind in ways that if you've never been in that situation you'll never be able to understand. 

I learned to make the best I could of all that was available, to not compare with other people because there was nothing to compare in my life with theirs and now I'm in my 70s I still make the best of what we have, we still grow on the allotment, I still walk every day and see what nature has to show me that makes me smile, I'm grateful for a bus pass that means I can stretch my housekeeping that little further, I'm so glad I know how to cook, sew, mend, make do and look after all that we have.  The thing I'm most happy about though is NOT having the same 'poor me' mindset that seems to be endemic in society these days, we have enough, we live a good life with what we have and we're enjoying every second of it without the holidays, new fashions, accoutrements of any kind that folks seem to 'need' to make them feel the same as everyone else. We're content and that is priceless!

VJsmum

PasturesNew said:

It's a question of wealth.  Some are "poverty tourists", doing the old style thing "for fun", but they could drop it in a heartbeat and fly off on a holiday if somebody asked them to.  They enjoy it as it's a choice. 

or 'we' do it because we have known true poverty, we still don't see the point in paying more than we need to but realise that flying off on holiday is something within our gift.  I do enjoy it as a choice, but can afford (and love) to go on holiday.  I see nothing wrong with that.  It's not either / or.  FOr example, last week I bought two leather sofas from our local hospice furniture shop (£100 each) to replace the 15 year old one that had literally fallen to bits; a side table off facebook market place for £10; two new with tags pairs of walking trousers from a different chazzer for £7 each (expensive for a chazzer, but they are new); a summer shirt for £3 from the same place and a book from the NT bookshop at our local stately home for £1.   I also booked a holiday for the 4 of us to Croatia, because I can and we need some family time.

I also know some very un-OS people who are very happy...

helensbiggestfan

Very interesting thread......

I too come from a poor working class background and "worked my way up" as it were.  I learned good sound practical skills that have stood me in good stead.  I have known both poverty and riches but I can truthfully say that neither really affected my base line of happiness and well being.  

I see money as just a tool, sometimes essential (housing, shelter, food, decent healthcare) and sometimes optional (holidays, lifestyle choices).  I think as long as you can cover the basics without getting into debt and suffering the stress that poverty brings in its wake, then happiness is a mindset that can be cultivated.  

I have a modest income but I live very well.  Its entirely doable. I guess I could be called a "poverty tourist" in that I deliberately choose simplicity, it's just my default mode. Doing so keeps me out of debt and therefore I live a contented stress free life. Even before I retired I deliberately chose this lifestyle so I could work less and spend more time with my family. I always valued my time more than consumption.  

Having said all that I do love fashion, holidays, having a home that is comfortable and elegant, getting out and about and having fun.  I see no conflict in ideology here.  You can have it both ways. You can have the "fancy stuff". As my late husband used to say "We can live without fripperies but where's the fun in that". 

For me it's about being creative and using my imagination, spending my money and resources wisely.  So I look for the deals and bargains, I make full use of charity shops, auctions, second hand etc, cooking from scratch - But not just for financial gain - I think home cooked food tastes better and is healthier, same with home grown produce, organic and no nasty chemicals and wow the taste of home grown fruit and vegetables!!  So much nicer than shop bought.  

It helps I suppose if you have good strong practical skills, cooking, gardening, sewing, simple diy etc.

I treat money savIng and simple living as a challenge and a game but I'm not about to wear a hair shirt ...... not when I can wear a silk one (courtesy of a charity shop of course). 😁.