Do you think OS people are happier than non-OS people? 25 February at 9:36PM in Old Style MoneySaving 32 replies 2.2K views

Angel_Jenny

Just curious really! 
I have always had pretty simple goals, likes, dreams etc. Around the 1 year anniversary of losing my brother and grandad I got a bit self reflective and realised that, although I love the simple pleasures of gardening, baking, sewing, reading, letter writing, I don't really do any of those things any more. And I haven't replaced them with anything positive. More mindless television viewing and internet scrolling. x

thriftwizard

Hmm - actually in general, I do think so. Not feeling the need to keep up with the Joneses any longer is somewhat of a weight off one's shoulders! Knowing that you can cope with much less money than our broadsheet newspapers seem to think is necessary, and still be well-nourished & have a good time, does wonders for one's peace of mind. There will always be sad times and setbacks; coping with those is easier if you're not also stressing that you can't afford the latest i-Gadget & the neighbours might feel you're letting the side down!

pollyanna_26

Angel_Jenny said:

Just curious really! 
I have always had pretty simple goals, likes, dreams etc. Around the 1 year anniversary of losing my brother and grandad I got a bit self reflective and realised that, although I love the simple pleasures of gardening, baking, sewing, reading, letter writing, I don't really do any of those things any more. And I haven't replaced them with anything positive. More mindless television viewing and internet scrolling. x

I know os and non os people and some are happy in both camps and others never seem happy. So I don't think we can generalise.

What I will say is a year since losing two beloved family members is quite a short time to grieve and recover. It's good you are beginning to look forward but give yourself time. There are no rules either to continue with the simple pleasures or find others.. I know from personal experience after dark times something as simple as the birds singing can get me into the garden to sit and listen. Then a short time later I'll start tackling the weeds. There will come a day when you do something because you want to and the healing will begin.

Take care

pollyx

ETA Wise words from Angie whose post I missed. The less pressure the better.

Wraithlady

Pretty much what pollyanna said - my mother died some years back, and I also 'went off' all my hobbies until fairly recently. Weirdly, I  had almost a phobia of finishing anything - no idea why. Nothing wrong with mindless scrolling or tv watching in the short term - sometimes switching off the brain is what's needed.  

monnagran

I think generally OS people are happier but it also has to do with what sort of character you are blessed with.  If you have a driven personality no amount of OS-ing is going to make you calm and happy-go-lucky.
If , like me, you inherit a pragmatic outlook on life and can dift along in an accepting sort of way, (hands up whoever said "lazy!") then you do escape the pressures of comparing yourself to others and striving to be like them.

Tragedies will happen in everyone's life and you will need time and space to recover and re-set your life to accommodate the changes that they bring.  I think that is easier if your life is largely OS and as simple as you can make it.

Enough of the potted philosophy, this happy, accepting personality has to haul its contented body out of bed.

Mistral001

Give it time as others have said.  No need to panic or look for quick fixes.  Do not think that what you are going through is particularly unusual.  

buildersdaughter

I largely agree with the other replies - and there are really 2 questions in here.
First, yes, my whole life I have never doubted that enjoying simple pleasures is what really counts. Having said that, it does cost a bit to have, say, a house with a garden and in an area where you can enjoy a safe walk. 
When grieving, you really do have to forgive yourself. My father, a voracious and wide-ranging reader spent a year after my mother's death reading nothing but the People's Friend (her book that he kept on delivery). He slowly found his way back to the library.
I wouldn't worry, but if you are beginning to sense the need to 'do something' then is there something connected with those you are grieving for? My grandmother made a patchwork quilt from her mother's old dresses. I have several friends who have baked or made crafts to fundraise for a cause dear to their loved one's hearts. neither of these may be right for you, but might get you thinking of something that is.
with best wishes

MrsLurcherwalker

I've been much happier since I came to the conclusion that I have the right to actually be the ME that I really am. I am an individual and have no wishes to be the same/do the same/think the same/ have the same/ value the same things as everyone else does.  I live my life quite happily without all the 'must haves' that seem to be endemic in society today because I don't want to be a clone of everyone else but it's taken quite a few years to get here. I don't do fashion I do comfy, I don't do hairdos or nails or make up or perfume or designer because it means nothing to me.  Our home is all rescued, very little new and is described by everyone who visits as 'homey' and they can sit on the sofa without fear that I'll dash over and plump up the cushions again. My wardrobe is virtually all rescued from the charity shop I work in the only thing I do buy new is comfy shoes, usually Hotter as they fit my size 8 feet and don't hurt them.  We don't really like holidays, I usually get to the Thursday of the first week and want to come home again because I like home better.  Our routine is gentle and comfortable and we're both happy in it and in our lives.  There are always vexations and troubles in everyone's lives but somehow being grounded and not having the feeling that the world watching is going to make us change anything makes for some levelness and  peace.  Some would say we are boring and probably be right but it suits us and that's what counts isn't it?

-taff

I spent a lot of time on the internet over the past nearly two years, to start with because I couldn't do anything else and then because I didn't want to. I've lost two family members in the last 6 months, and between us, myself and the OH went to six fnerals last year all within a 4 month span, so we lost quite a few people.

I think about doing things a lot but I haven't really started doing any of the things I used ot enjoy, they allseemed to become a bit of a chore and I didn't find any joy in doing them.

It'll come back I expect when I'm good and ready, and I won't be pushing myself to do them until i am.

VJsmum

GO gentle, Angel Jenny, that you lost your grandad suggests your brother was quite young and that in itself is shocking and enough to knock anyone.  
I'm fairly OS and happy with it.  I certainly don't feel pressure to conform to anything or with anyone.  

piperlynn

Mrs Lurcherwalker, I agree with lots of what you said. We moved to a small home in a village in the pennines. It is furnished with second hand stuff, as most of our furniture had to go as it was too big. We ditched many possessions. We have what we need, and have no desire for stuff, fashion, electronic fads etc etc. Yes we have ups and downs, I have not done much sewing etc lately, but i know that i will. We enjoy being where we are, so holidays have to offer something we want, we dont go for the sake of it. Not interested in package trips etc. Finally i think we know who we are, and claim the right to be who we want to be. It is all amazingly liberating. So yes, OS is better for us.