Can anyone advise on being (or not being!) a guarantor?

silvercar

Sorry that you have this to deal with. I would concentrate on him and let the house mates concentrate on finding a replacement for the house.

ambc

silvercar said:

Sorry that you have this to deal with. I would concentrate on him and let the house mates concentrate on finding a replacement for the house.

Hi - yes, that would be the straightforward route, but he's adamant that he wants to go and live in this house from when the tenancy begins in August this year, despite him not being able to pay for it (while also being solely liable for the council tax on a 6 bedroom house!).

He's kinda got me over a barrel with this, as he could just go and live there, not pay his portion of the rent, and leave me facing the debt. Whether he realises he's doing this to me or not is anyone's guess.

Beginning the process of finding a replacement sounds like it will be tricky. He wants to live in this house and he's telling his friends that he's definitely going to live in this house, so none of the tenants actually have any kind of incentive to set about finding a replacement. I can try to tell the letting agent the situation, but my son is an adult at 18 and I'm certain the agent will just say that it's the tenants' joint responsibility to find a replacement. 

It really only leaves me with the nuclear option of writing to the other parents named on the tenancy agreement to explain the situation, and to let them know that my son will not be able to afford this property and their children need to find a replacement tenant.

Like I said, it's a proper mess.

jimbog

I've not got anything to add other than to wish you and your son well

Skiddaw1

OP, it is indeed a difficult but not uncommon situation. I shall keep all crossed that your son makes a full recovery from his depression/drug issues and hopefully, may be well enough (not to mention older and wiser enough) to return to his studies in September. In the meantime, is there any mileage in taking a non-committal approach to the potential September house-share? I'd imagine there's still plenty of time for a new tenant to be found and things might well be significantly clearer in a month or two. Good luck...

ambc

Skiddaw1 said:

is there any mileage in taking a non-committal approach to the potential September house-share?

Possibly. He's been home for nearly a week now and has been perfectly happy to sit in his bedroom all day every day playing games/watching Netflix and being cooked for, without an apology, or a 'thanks for taking a day off work to help me pack up my room and bring me and my stuff home under the supervision of a security guard', and zero effort to find out what might happen (or has happened!) to his place on his course, or to make any other kind of constructive plan other than to decide he's definitely going back there later this year.

The tenancy begins mid August and the first payment is due early August, so yes there is still some time. However that'll run out quick and I imagine once the academic year approaches and students make sure they have secured accommodation then it'll become increasingly harder to find a new tenant.

Now that I'm slightly less angry than I was earlier the week, and I feel like I might be able to speak to him without wanting to kick his !!!!!! up the street (and back down again), I will be having a full and frank conversation with him this weekend. 

Skiddaw1

OP..... I really do feel for you..... hope full & frank conversation goes well....

[Deleted User]

Do you know if the form you signed was a deed?  I am afraid I am not the expert on this, the main expert (G_M) has been excluded from this site but maybe someone else will chip in.  As far as I know, for a guarantor agreement to be binding, the guarantor has to see the TA, the signature has to be witnessed and it has to be a deed.  But I am not sure of details.  I have found this https://england.shelter.org.uk/legal/housing_options/paying_for_accommodation/guarantors

What I am thinking, is if you can write to the LL that they did not have the proper forms for you to sign, or they were not witnessed, or not a deed, you are not a guarantor and not willing to be.  Then your son can't just go and live in the property.

However if it was a deed and all formalities were observed, this won't help you.

I do sympathise, I had problems with my son and university accommodation as well.  If it helps, he should have funding for 4 years in total so there is still chance for him to study for a degree in whichever way you mutually agree is best as most degrees are three year courses.

It sounds like at the moment your son is in denial.  I had my son do this, kept telling me he could go back until it was too late to do anything about it.  The university wouldn't speak to me so I couldn't do anything until he gave permission for me to communicate with the university on his behalf.  By then it was too late.  But I guess its a learning experience of a different kind.  I am no psychologist but I wonder if they play games because they can to some degree control the game world, unlike real life.  Doesn't help much and it is a destructive attitude.  I hope you are able to get your son into some kind of rehab.  I've tried two counselling schemes for my son.  He went twice.  I did start refusing to get anything but the absolute basics for him though until he started making a contribution to food costs.  I've also warned him about having to start paying the student loan back (or get his act together enough to defer payments) and his overdraft once the bank realises he isn't a student anymore, so waiting for that hammer to fall eventually.  It will, he's not doing anything about preparing for either.  I'm afraid some of our children seem to prefer to learn the hard way, unfortunately.

blackshirtuk

After the chat, if you feel that he won't be going back, I would get in contact with the other prospective tenants (and their parents) and say you are not sure whether he will be back and they should consider finding a replacement. 
It happens all the time that one student will drop out from a group, for one reason or another. You really need to keep the other tenants on side as they will ultimately decide who they will live with.
Also keep the agent in the loop as they may well have a single student looking to join a group or a group that has just broken down. 

Smodlet

OP, is there is no way you can find out from the university if they will even have your son back, ever?  At least, if you could get a definitive answer, probably by securing his permission for you to communicate with them, you might have some idea of how best to proceed.  Were the answer in the negative, you could then perhaps try to get this message through to your son; it does not sound as if he is in any hurry to face the truth himself.

You could also then inform the other parents/guarantors so they had some incentive to find a replacement tenant.  Yes, they/the LL can hold you responsible for the entire amount (and the LL probably would) but perhaps at least some of the other parents might empathise with your situation and take some action to find another tenant.

Bossypants

I'm sorry to hear you are both going through this. I hope he can continue counselling and get the help he needs to deal with his depression and suicidal urges.