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Talk me down please 2

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    I'm about to head for bed Melly but noticed your post. Do you mean leaving your husband? To be honest I've wondered over the years whether it was worth you damaging your physical and mental health trying to work and do everything else. I know he's been very resistant to any outside help which hasn't helped the situation. Buying stuff and hoarding hasn't helped. If you're serious think things through carefully. Whatever you decide I'll always support you and I'm sure others will too.
    pollyx.
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
  • mellymoo74mellymoo74 Forumite
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    Thank you Pol
    He's not going to do anything to help himself get better and I just cant do this any more.
    Dogs and Kev ckne with me other cats are a problem as Ty is very much OHs, Trink was his mums and Pick loves Trink.
  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    A lot for you to think about Melly. It's a shame after you have the bungalow. Since you first started the original thread there have been so many times you've been pushed beyond your limits but it wasn't for us to say anything although I worried for you. If he'd engaged in any way with services etc things would have been different perhaps but you seemed up against a brick wall. You work hard with little or no sleep and his online buying hasn't helped as you tried to stretch the pennies. Give yourself time to think things through. Will he be able to care for Ty and Trink?
    pollyx
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
  • mellymoo74mellymoo74 Forumite
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    That's the worry
    He undoubtedly loves the animals and they feed into the anxieties which doesn't help. They do also destress, ty in particular takes care of him when he's bad. 
    I'm in Manchester tomorrow and very excited so far he's been pretty good, sorted out a powerbank, made sure I have a backpack, has got a panic on about coronavirus and people stabbing people but trying to keep it in check
    Its not happening any time soon I need to sort stuff. 
    I know, my brothers and other people I consider family have been telling me to leave for a while as I need a life too. 
    Problem is I know he can't help it. 

  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    It's difficult Melly. Heart versus head. I'm glad he's trying to keep his fears in check today. Truth is stabbings can happen in cities , leafy suburbs or anywhere else. Same with viruses. I'm on the coast across from Manchester but still remember the arena bombing. Logically life would grind to a halt if we all stayed indoors for fear of what ifs but severe anxiety means he doesn't understand that sadly. Being so isolated just feeds his fears. If only he was able to engage with suitable help a lot could change. I used to think youngest would stay locked in panic, anxiety and fear for the rest of her life but a good doctor and appropriate help brought her through it. When you've been let down numerous times it's very hard to bare your soul again but I wish your husband was able to try one more time.
    I'll be thinking of you as you head up north tomorrow and hoping all goes well. I'm glad you still have people in real life to talk to. I wasn't sure if you had anyone apart from the friend you mention sometimes. Chin up love.
    pollyx 
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    Good luck today Melly. Weather has been wet in the NW but rain has stopped here and the sun is coming out. It's cold but it seems Mcr should be dry today too.
    pollyx
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
  • mellymoo74mellymoo74 Forumite
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    It's been drier than I remember Pol lol
    Having a good day so far 
  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    Glad things are going well Melly and the weather is playing ball.
    pollyx
    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
  • edited 14 February at 2:16AM
    mellymoo74mellymoo74 Forumite
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    edited 14 February at 2:16AM
    Deleted
  • mellymoo74mellymoo74 Forumite
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    Sorry everyone was a lovely pic of me and my brother but a bit outing I decided.
    So
    Yay 
    Its going long term, I shall be in Manchester one day a week for a while 
    Woop
    Now to pay for it lol
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