I'm Adopted

renegadefm

Thanks for the help guys. I will follow your advice. I know time is ticking, and its only in recent years I have the urge to do it or felt right about it, or was even prepared to in terms of feelings.

renegadefm

Marisco, can I ask what method did you use to trace your mum?

silvercar

If the official way doesn’t yield results, you could always try dna testing.

Interesting story here on the moral dilemma faced by someone conceived through a sperm donor: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-51207678/dna-testing-sperm-donor-anonymity-and-me

[Deleted User]

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register

JamoLew

I understand the curiosity, but sometimes things are just meant to be left in the past.
You will hear and read about all the wonderful experiences and relationships that occur, but rarely about the emotional damage this could cause.
First stop at least is to discuss with your parents as to your reasons and motivations behind this desire

bellabella

I too was adopted in 1969 and had and still have a wonderful family I traced my birth mother myself i just requested a copy of the original birth certificate and contacted her via FB i just said this maybe you if its not thats ok or if it is and you don't want contact thats fine as well and if you are not this person i am sorry to bother you . She did contact me three years later and we have communicated via e mail but i do not think it will go further when i asked about my birth father she shut the question down very quickly with no information although she was very open about herself and gave me quite a bit of information she also asked about my life. I am happy with the outcome and also happy to leave it there I would meet her if she wanted too but i can honestly say I am not too bothered . I do have to post a warning I know of others who have traced their birth family and things have not worked out well as for a social worker interview i didn't bother with all that as i have a strong family who i knew i could turn to and i was never that worried if she replied or not . I wish you luck x

chelseablue

I'd say go for it

By the time I found out who my real father was he was already dead (only died 18 months before I found out about him) so never got the chance to meet him

TBagpuss

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register is a good place to start.

You could also consider signing up to 23andme where your dna can be tested - this can if there are family members who have also been tested) enable you to contact biological relations.

If you know where the adoption took place then you would be entitled to access your records with social services.

It may also be sensible for you to make enquiries about support services for adults who were adopted as children. https://www.pac-uk.org/ is one such organisation and there are others (many of them regional or linked to organisations which are, or were ,involved in placing children for adoption) and there are also online and physical support groups where you can talk to others in a similar situation, to help you to prepare for, and deal with, any issues which arise as a result of your search.

Good luck.

Skiddaw1

I was adopted too. As it happens, I was adopted by my maternal grandparents (so knew my birth mother from the time I was very young). I did track down my birth father on FB and messaged him but he didn't respond (so I've let sleeping dogs lie).


I can absolutely understand why you want to proceed but I'd recommend you do so with caution. As has been said, it doesn't always work out for the best. Good luck.

Mojisola

TBagpuss wrote: »

You could also consider signing up to 23andme where your dna can be tested - this can if there are family members who have also been tested) enable you to contact biological relations.

The most useful test will be an autosomal DNA test like Family Tree dna 'family finder' which finds cousins rather than tracing long distance ancestry.

I don't know if 23andme does the same kind of test.