Sort out finances after wife lost her job.

onwards&upwards

PasturesNew wrote: »

Round the house comfy leggings and big baggy T shirts, to "save good clothes" for leaving the house.... "good clothes" have tended to be the occasional charity shop purchase for the last 15+ years.

Underwear is new (worn until it dies), socks are new. I did buy a new nightie (£7 at Primark) just before Xmas, my first for probably 30 years as I've worn baggy T shirts.

Ok, so clothing is in your lifestyle!

I’m sure the OP and his wife probably have enough in their wardrobes that they can manage without new for a while so they can pay down debt, but a proper budget going forward needs to account for it, even your budget should!

Verityspinelli

durzoblint wrote: »

I just realised my wife had not been honest about her credit card debt, its actually a couple of thousand pounds more than she previously told me (i'm still trying to get her to show me the statements). .

She will have online statements which aren’t hard to produce, if she has admitted to you it’s a couple of thousand more then you thought and she’s still not showing you her statements then it’s probably much more then that. You need to find out exactly how much she owes so you know what you’re dealing with. If she was working and paying her own debt then it would be her choice whether to tell you, as you’re having to cover her payments the least she can do is tell you how much it is?

Marvel1

jeepjunkie wrote: »

Ouch, with Plusnet SIM only £9pm 5GB data, unlimited texts and calls but there is better out there now.

Thank you, this made me look and i found:
ID mobile, 2GB, unlimited calls for £6 a month - cheaper and same amount of data. Sorting this out now.

middleclassbutpoor

durzoblint wrote: »

Her monthly outgoings are pretty clear, they come to about £480 and i pay that into her account at the beginning of every month so she doesn't default on her payments.

The challenge however is that after all the direct debits go out, i'm more or less in overdraft and there is no money to give her for "incidentals" like fuel for her car and personal stuff she needs. She's been putting those on her credit card and because its so easy to use, she's also been putting stuff she shouldn't on it also.

She's not had to list stuff on ebay before and a lot of stuff we could sell are electronics that she doesn't know about and therefore there is a risk she might sell them cheaper than they're worth.

I'm also not trying to put unnecessary pressure on her, she's already feeling down about not being able to secure a job, piling pressure on her about our financial troubles doesn't seem like a good idea.

It seems that you are both failing to be on the same page with this.

What are all of her monthly expenses? Ask her to be honest and give you a figure..

You show her your budget - what is coming in, what is going out and what is left. Ask her where you should create the additional money for her expenses.

I can't believe for one second either that she can't find any job to take the pressure of you. Its a partnership at the end of the day.

durzoblint

Barclaycard have now put a hold on payments from her card for 2 months, they've stopped the card from being used and told us that if the minimum payment isn't made in 2 months she will default and it'll adversely affect her future credit.

Looking through the bills, a lot of it is last minute grocery shopping,, fuel for her car, salon bills and yes some clothes and shoe shopping.

I already mentioned previously that we don't do a big grocery shop monthly but just dash into the shops and pick up what we feel we need for the month, this might have to change.

She has a job interview next week and i have also spoken to her about reducing her job / grade expectations.

Pollycat

durzoblint wrote: »

Barclaycard have now put a hold on payments from her card for 2 months, they've stopped the card from being used and told us that if the minimum payment isn't made in 2 months she will default and it'll adversely affect her future credit.

Looking through the bills, a lot of it is last minute grocery shopping,, fuel for her car, salon bills and yes some clothes and shoe shopping.

I already mentioned previously that we don't do a big grocery shop monthly but just dash into the shops and pick up what we feel we need for the month, this might have to change.

She has a job interview next week and i have also spoken to her about reducing her job / grade expectations.

Ah.
No surprise to me.
But were you aware that your wife was paying for groceries?

You said on your other thread she was paying council tax and gas/electricity.
Does your SOA need updating with what you are both spending on groceries?



Re the 'we feel we need':
Do a shopping list of what you actually need.
Menu plan - instead of buying a green pepper for one specific meal, buy a value pack and use the bag in several dishes.
Ditto a value pack of mushrooms.


What sort of food do you eat?
Do either of you cook from scratch?
It may not have been possible when you both had demanding jobs but that' not the case anymore.
Check out the Old-style board, lots of great ideas on menus etc.

kazwookie

fuel for her car

Where is she going in the car? she doesn't seem to be going for job interviews / she is not working / not food shopping as you dash in to the food shops when you need food, and don't do a monthly shop, so what is she doing?


Has she started on the ebay stuff yet?


Which supermarkets do you use?
There are some great menu ideas / food planning on this site. Maybe she can use some of her time to read these and plan meals / get cooking.

SadieO

durzoblint wrote: »

Looking through the bills, a lot of it is last minute grocery shopping,, fuel for her car, salon bills and yes some clothes and shoe shopping.

These things should be included in your SOA. It's meaningless for you to put £100 for petrol for instance, if you (as a household) are actually spending way more than that. Your SOA should be what is actually being spent.

lindens

durzoblint wrote: »

I'm also not trying to put unnecessary pressure on her, she's already feeling down about not being able to secure a job, piling pressure on her about our financial troubles doesn't seem like a good idea.

It might however go the other way and make her feel better about herself, that she is contributing, back in control somewhat. Have you asked her?

lindens

Your wife also needs to be encouraged to visit this site! not just the debt section either. She has all of this time on her hands - time to learn about meal planning, bulk cooking, decluttering maybe. Then when she gets back into work she will be in a better place, your family will be - no more credit card debts. Suggest she keeps a spending diary