Sort out finances after wife lost her job.

BookmobileBadGirl

....ignore me, I can’t count....

kazwookie

If your wife is not earning at the moment, what is she busy spending money on?
Where does she think the money is coming from?
Do you have 'stuff' you can sell, ebay or Facebook, your wife can spend time listing it.
|How many temping agencies has your wife applied to?

onwards&upwards

durzoblint wrote: »

Well its not working at the moment, any attempt to curb expenses is seen as me being controlling hence the stealth credit card purchases. I guess i have let it go on for too long and now i can't ignore it.

Tbh i have also continued to spend like we are on 2 incomes, so i will also be cutting down on a lot of my expenses.

You aren’t in charge, you don’t need to ‘put your foot down’ or anything like that! The two of you need to sit down and have a fully open, honest conversation where you discuss and come up with a plan together. Then nobody needs to feel guilty or belittled and nobody needs to feel stressed or to be controlling.

theoretica

With the figures you currently have for both of your spending you should be comfortably paying extra off your debt each month. That this isn't happening shows that you are both simply spending more than you think you are. Easy enough to do, but you both need to look at your spending, realise what is happening and direct your discretionary spending (what you have on food out, entertainment, clothing, gym...) where you most want it. Even with her out of work you could be reducing your debt without cutting your spending to the bare minimum.
How does your wife spend her time? One problem with not working is you usually have more time to spend money...

durzoblint

Drawingaline wrote: »

You both need to sit down and go through it all together. Mainly so she can see it all laid out and not feel like she has no control. Make sure there is no blame and that joint goals are what need to be focused on. So TV package, does she want to keep this because she is home in the day more? That's fine, but then something else needs to give, such as more home cooking rather than eating out. Want to keep an expensive second car? Then TV package goes and mobile downgraded. These decisions need to be made together. Open up some savings pots (online savers) to start putting money aside for car maintenance, xmas and birthday presents, house maintenance etc.

Your one income is high, more than we have for a family of six, once you are both on the same page you hold be able to see where your priorities lie and where you can make savings in order to start digging your way out.

Your wife needs to look at her NI contributions while out of work if she isn't claiming any benefits she isn't accruing any which will be an issue later on. I believe someone else posted a link.

Finally have a look at the diaries section for a variety of different incomes all on the same journey. One by Desperate Dan, is by a man on a high income with lots of debt, his journey may resonate with you. Have a search on the debt free diary section.

Well done for starting :j

The Sky TV package also includes landline and broadband. We have discussed cancelling the TV package though as we also have Netflix.

The suggestion about ebay is a good one and we do have stuff we can get rid of. I'll most likely be setting up some sales.

I had a chat with her yesterday and she's agreed we need to make changes and where.

fatbelly

durzoblint wrote: »

The Sky TV package also includes landline and broadband. We have discussed cancelling the TV package though as we also have Netflix.

The suggestion about ebay is a good one and we do have stuff we can get rid of. I'll most likely be setting up some sales.

I had a chat with her yesterday and she's agreed we need to make changes and where.

Cancelling and getting your landline/broadband elsewhere is probably the best. However, haggling could save a bit

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6094068/sky-renewal-good-prices-offered

Pollycat

durzoblint wrote: »

The Sky TV package also includes landline and broadband. We have discussed cancelling the TV package though as we also have Netflix.

The suggestion about ebay is a good one and we do have stuff we can get rid of. I'll most likely be setting up some sales.

I had a chat with her yesterday and she's agreed we need to make changes and where.

Is there any reason why your wife can't list stuff for eBay as she (presumably) has more time at the moment?

I just have a feeling that either your wife is not really fully on board with this change or you feel that it's your sole responsibility.
Just something I get from your responses on this and your other thread.

PasturesNew

I always say "think/live like you're on the dole", which for a single person is about £70/week for all bills.

So, if you were on the dole, what'd have to go? Some things I accept you're legally bound into (e.g. timeshare), but there's a lot in the list that can be immediately shaved off your activities/lifestyle list.

durzoblint wrote: »

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 75
Clothing................................ 100
Haircuts................................ 60
Entertainment........................... 100
Eating out ............................. 200
Coaching ............................... 110
NS&I Bond .............................. 200
GYM..................................... 35

None of those are in my lifestyle - and most will never, ever, be.
Ergo: these are unnecessary and can be dropped.

There's £880 sliding out of your pocket every month.

durzoblint

Pollycat wrote: »

Is there any reason why your wife can't list stuff for eBay as she (presumably) has more time at the moment?

I just have a feeling that either your wife is not really fully on board with this change or you feel that it's your sole responsibility.
Just something I get from your responses on this and your other thread.

I do feel responsible for letting things get to this state. I used to be a regular forumite years ago and tips from this site helped me save up for my mortgage. Since getting a better job and several payrises however, i have ignored my budgets and saving diaries and somehow allowed things to get to the stage they are now.

I'm shocked at the sheer number of direct debits going out of my account monthly.

In the past i used to set the budgets and the spending trend and my wife was happy to go along. but i guess she took her cues from me and is now set in a spending pattern.

Pollycat

durzoblint wrote: »

I do feel responsible for letting things get to this state. I used to be a regular forumite years ago and tips from this site helped me save up for my mortgage. Since getting a better job and several payrises however, i have ignored my budgets and saving diaries and somehow allowed things to get to the stage they are now.

I'm shocked at the sheer number of direct debits going out of my account monthly.

In the past i used to set the budgets and the spending trend and my wife was happy to go along. but i guess she took her cues from me and is now set in a spending pattern.

You were both high earners.
You lived to that standard (a lot of people do).
You have realised that it's no longer a sustainable lifestyle.

You are both responsible for the state of your finances.
And both of you need to work together to sort out your financial problems.

Stop trying to take it all on yourself.
Why are you doing all this?
Why isn't your wife going through your (and her) statements to identify where all your joint money is going if she is at home?
Why isn't she looking at ways to cut your outgoings?
Why do you feel it is you that should 'set up some sales'?

As I said earlier, I can't work out if she's not bothered or you are wanting to solve this on your own (controlling?).