Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath

crazy_cat_lady

I am more bothered than I should be that I can't do my lovely teal coloured writing any more.
Just home from work - not great news from my mortgage company - they want me to pay down my cc before considering me for a mortgage. Ugh. Best get on with it then. Starting with the 100 papers I still need to mark.

f0xh0les

I am missing coloured writing too, and the pervy hugs and the  jumpy/ cheersy /clappy/  people.

trix-a-belle

dawnybabes said:

trix-a-belle said:

i'm glad you've popped back up, not sure on text colour
Subscribed threads are now bookmarks (click the little bookmarks icon in the top right next to profile)
To stop the zillion emails click the 3 slidey menu lines that are in the top right of notifications box when you click notifications which will take you to the settings, remove email notification from 'Notify me when people comment on my bookmarked discussions' and save x

So can we still have daily updates ? 

not as far as I can tell, I want to have instant updates from 1 or 2 threads but can't have that either, its been queried by several people including myself in the (ever expanding) new forum snagging thread in forum feedback

CCL/f0xh0les if you go into 'edit' an earlier post where you have coloured text you should be able to nab the [***] [/***] handles with the relevant coding as abit of a rubbishy work around

f0xh0les

Thanks Trix-a-belle.  It is looking more and more like I am going to have to be a coding expert if I want my pretty colours and fancypants emojis back (and that is  simply not going to happen!)  It is all looking very clean and sterile on these new boards.  
Don't mark too hard  this weekend CCL.
At least you  know how much divorce debt you are in, so divide it by 100 and do the 1% challenge.   Is the cc debt the same debt as the divorce debt? or is it in addition to it?  
What interest rate is your mortgage currently at?  are you on a fixed rate for a certain amount of time or on the Standard Variable Rate?  Just because they will not consider you until you have paid some cc debt does not mean we can't find you a great deal to be armed with when the debt is a bit lower.  Is that what L&C said, or is that just the mortgage lender you are with now? 
Sorry ! asking lots of questions when you are in marking mode is probably not helpful.  But just remember, the debt you are in now is the most debt you are ever going to be in  again for the rest of your life.  This debt was beyond your control, but no-one can do this to you ever again.    There is only one way you are going,  and that is out of debt and into the wonderful world of getting and staying debt free.  100 steps.  You work so hard, you are going to be able to do this, even if ds is going to eat fancy chick'n nuggets every day of the week.    It is just a little bit more planning, a bit more budgeting on the niggly bits,  and a whole lot more control over your future.     You are not alone in this.  We are with you every step of the way.  

crazy_cat_lady

Good morning  
I am finding more emojis - but none I like that much, and still no joy with getting any colour. Ah, but that is the least of my issues. I must keep practising letting go of things that I can't control. The most important thing is that there are still people about, reading my ramblings (I hope) and that there's some moral support here for me.
My papers are marked! All except 17 long papers that came in late that I was only allocated yesterday (after the deadline). I've already said that I can't mark them until tomorrow at the earliest as I'm most definitely having the day off today. No arguments or questioning. I'm meeting up with my crochet friend, who also happens to be the most organised person I know. Not only do I love her company but she also has a brilliant knack of being able to get me on track no matter what it is that I need to do. It will be a bit of a spendy day because we'll have either coffee or lunch while we're out and I have a very, very small shopping list of things that I couldn't get in my online shop last night (went back to Mr S after the trauma of Mr A last week) and £20 in my purse. I'm hoping that I will be reporting back in later still with some actual cash in my purse. We shall see.
In other news I have taken the bull by the horns (so to speak) and have spent the morning printing off trackers for spending, saving and payments. I've taken f0xh0les advice and gotten onto the 1% challenge - however 1% of my total cc debt is too much to consider in the shorter term, so I've broken it down into smaller increments that will mean something to me but nothing to anyone else. First 1% target is £8.30. I'm hoping that seeing the tracker fill in although the debt will not go down by much will motivate me and spur me on even further.
Also printed mood and habit trackers while I was on - I've had almost 3 weeks of doing absolutely nothing except work and sleep. Today is the day that I get my life back - friends, time with the family, crochet and now debt busting like I've never debt busted before. I have nothing to sell except my time and I really work quite hard with that so it is a case of making the most of what I've got and trying to cut back wherever I possibly can. 
I actually feel quite motivated - felt drained and hopeless yesterday but today I feel ok.
Forgot to mention that dd got a message from her dad during the week - he tried to call her about 1am then messaged her at about 2am asking if he could see her and her brother this weekend. She doesn't want to - I offered to take them somewhere (even though he has done this twice before and then not made any final arrangements) but she says she isn't bothered about seeing him and so won't be replying. She's also aware that he has done this before. He will obviously think that I have done this but she's made her own mind up. DS doesn't know - he's 11 years old and his dad mucking him about messes with his head for days or weeks afterwards so I've made the executive decision that he doesn't need to know.
Right people, time for getting on.

DawnW

Great to hear you are feeling positive CCL   Well done on completing the marking (except for the late ones). What a strange time for your ex to contact a 14 year old (or 15, can't remember which).

Hope you have a great day.

crazy_cat_lady

DawnW said:

Great to hear you are feeling positive CCL   Well done on completing the marking (except for the late ones). What a strange time for your ex to contact a 14 year old (or 15, can't remember which).

Hope you have a great day.

She's 15. I know that he has an issue with alcohol and I doubt that has changed so I presume he was drunk. He then tends to change his mind once he's sober

dawnybabes

Why would he contact your DD that late on a school night - idiot! He’s not leant much has he! 

trix-a-belle

What a great day it sounds like you have planned, I think I could do with borrowing your friend to get me back on track lol. You definitely need and deserve a rest day so no arguments here!
Your DD is such a wonderful young lady, its a shame your ex has clearly still not seen logic or ability to read a clock, as much as you don't want DD to be the go between is it worth a single message being sent back from her that calls/messages in the middle of the night are disruptive, especially on school nights!, & that she & her brother aren't ready to see him, just so its there for him to read when sober/recorded?
Have a lovely day with your friend and I hope you get some crafting done

f0xh0les

Have a lovely day off doing things you want to do.  It sounds great.