Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath

trix-a-belle

I like that evebeme
*hugs* CCL, i'd revert with £52 could feed all of us for nearly a week/pay for XYZ, it would only keep you satisfied on your xbox for what? 24 hours? I was horrified at how much my electric readings rocketed during the 1st lockdown with my housemate at home on hers all day (& night) rather than just a few hours in the evening

janb5

I think that one thing I`ve learned at the moment that nothing is normal and I`m not surprised there are tensions between your ds and you.
Just remember what amazing changes you have made this week with the menu planner and doing new recipes.
Your son is hormonal and so are you so there`s a lovely Molotov cocktail right there!
You`ve said on your blog quite a few times that your PMT is horrendous and you`ve been discouraged by this unsympathetic GP. I`d suggest you go back and ask for a referral to gynae with a consultant with a specialist knowledge in women`s health/  PMDD.  You can point out that this has existed for a long while now .  Even if you have to wait, it would be far better than having to endure this month in, month out.
Everyone lashes out when they`re upset so please don`t think this is a mini version of your ex.  Remember how your son  has appreciated all the things you`ve done with him and also to protect him.
If life were back at normal he could diffuse his anger/frustration by being with his mates but that isn't happening right now.
You`re also trying to be Mum and Dad whilst looking out for your parents etc so it`s not surprising you`re tired!

Pat yourself on the back- life will get better.  And look how far you`ve come! xx

badmemory

Is your DS being infected by what his father is saying to him?  It does sound a bit like it & it is what some ex's love to do.

crazy_cat_lady

Afternoon all.
Thanks for your kind words all of you. Jan - you have made me cry (in a good way). I'm just doing the best that I can and getting on with whatever I can manage at the moment. DS is not in a huff any more - I don't know if he's just calmed down or if he's still silently seething but I'm not sure. It won't be his dad badmemory - the kids haven't seen their dad in well over a year (his decision not mine). We had to pay someone to find him to serve court documents - one thing the ex is brilliant at is running away from things. He owes me thousands but I have no idea where he is or what he's doing at the moment, which is fine by me.
I will get round to trying to ring the doctor - I really need to psyche myself up for it though. I know it sounds like a cop out but I'm not very good at fighting my corner anyway. My size is my own fault but is a symptom of other issues rather than my greed and lack of knowledge about food.
Anyway - got up this morning feeling all motivated to bake while the Bee Tee man worked on the internet for me. So I finally did the cheese scones that I've been threatening to do for days, and ds made his cake finally. It all went so well until the baking. I don't know what is happening, but the bottom of the scones and the cake got burnt while the tops were barely cooked. I know I have a new cooker and all that but I had the temperatures right, cooked them separately as the cake needed lower than the scones. Beautiful looking and tasting food apart from the bottom couple of mm which were burnt. My science brain is telling me not to use a tin to cook them, but something that reflects heat better (shiny/plastic) but I don't have anything like that at the moment. Maybe next time I cook something in the oven I will use stoneware or pyrex rather than a tin.
Bee Tee reckon my internet is now fixed, and touch wood, it seems to be looking back to it's regular speed (only taken 3 weeks )
My mam and stepdad have had the first dose of their vaccines today - I'm so pleased.

janb5

As an ex nurse/HV, it does upset me when people ( whether in the NHS or not ) make assumptions that losing weight is the only answer to problems.  Yes of course it matters but I think it is used a block to discourage people from looking at other options....i.e. lose weight and things will be better..... Also please stop thinking about it is your ` fault` which is constantly berating yourself!
I know you said I made you cry in a good way but I do hope that I didn`t upset you because that isn`t my intention at all! I`d hate to be drummed out of your blog!

dawnybabes

Have you got a thermostat to check the oven ? 

I remember years ago going to the doctor (I was horrifically low on iron) and the doctor decided without running bloods or anything the reason I was so so tired all the time was because I was depressed as I was overweight !   I saw a different doctor 2 days later that ran bloods.  

f0xh0les

Does the oven cook the golden chicken ok?  If so then it might be your baking tins, do the same thing all over again with a  sheet of greaseproof as a buffer and that might solve the problem and lower your shelf slightly.  It happens to us all every now and again.      You can do this! It is just chemistry with food.

Sorry you are hormonal and feeling carp, and sorry your ds is being a toad.  Luckily you will both grow out of it.  Eventually.

Buffythedebtslayer

CCL, I can offer no advice re cooking but I have seen pictures of you! (on FB) You are NOT enormous by any stretch of the imagination, please don't speak about yourself so negatively. You would tell off your Bestie if she did it! . The Doctor can DO ONE. 
XX
 

f0xh0les

Well now we are all wondering!!

crazy_cat_lady

Evening my lovelies. Hope that you're all well - I have been a very busy CCL the past 3 days. Two solid days of exam related work (fingers crossed the 2022 exams go ahead so that time hasn't been completely wasted) plus a day of prep ready for the recommencing of remote teaching and learning tomorrow.
So Friday involved my being in a remote meeting from 9.30 until 5.30 with some corrections and work to do that needed to be done before the 9.30 start on Saturday morning. So I ended up doing a very long day Friday, and I was shattered when I got to bed - but couldn't wind down and get to sleep. Woke up Saturday morning with a banging headache - not sure if it was from the long day, the poor sleep or being on a computer for hours but I felt absolutely dreadful. Tablets would shift it for an hour or two at a time but then I had to have more. The meeting finished yesterday at half past four and I lay on the sofa and promptly fell asleep for 2 hours - only woken by the kitten coming for a cuddle and sitting right on my face! I am convinced he was trying to murder me, but dd said he was just a baby wanting a cuddle. Still had a headache when I woke up but managed some dinner and then was in bed by 10pm. 
Unbelievably I still had a headache when I woke up this morning. So I had a cuppa, and went for a walk on the beach to try and clear it. No such luck - I was out for just over an hour and then as soon as I got home I was reaching for the ibuprofen again. Went to my mam's for the weekly catch up. She has had a ropey couple of days after her vaccination but was feeling much better today and she and my stepdad had done a full chicken dinner, which was absolutely amazing. We didn't stay very long today because I felt so rough... and was worried about driving home with my head hurting so much, and stressing about the fact that I hadn't prepped any teaching for next week as yet. 
Got home, and guess what??? Yes, I went for a lie down and woke up 2 hours later. Again. But finally my headache seemed to have cleared, so by 5pm I was ready to start lesson prep for the week ahead. I'm now done and sorted for more than half of the week so I feel ok. Still lots to do as the week goes on, but I'll be interested to see how many students get straight back into the remote learning tomorrow - I suspect it will be hard work for me to get ds on the go with anything so I would imagine it will be the same with a lot of other kids. 
Thank god we all had a good meal at my mam's because I've had no time or energy to make anything today. I had plans for a sweet potato curry, banana bread and porridge big load of batch cooking but have gotten absolutely nowhere with it. I need to do it because the last of my fruit and veg box needs using before the next one comes over the next couple of days. We also need to do a bit of essentials shopping at Herr Aldee before payday - we're very short of bread and dairy items. There just aren't really enough hours in the day at the moment for it unfortunately - especially when I've wasted so much time sleeping over the past few days -