Frump to Fab - A Whole New World.

helensbiggestfan

Sugar baby. I did change my post. I thought perhaps I was a bit too forceful in my condemnation of players. and didn’t want to upset you. 😂. But I can see I needn’t have worried.  You are a very wise lady and I think you have been a great role model for your family. You have taught and continue to teach them well.    

I think most of us have had a fling or two with players.  There’s no doubt that “bad boys” can be devilishly attractive and hard to resist.  But for me, having a player as a father taught me to guard my heart.  

I learned from him that bad boys aren’t for marriage or long term commitment. 😉

Wednesday2000

My mother dated a string of utter losers after her divorce when I was a young teenager. Most/all? of the men were unemployed, smoked weed and some were violent. She certainly set me the example of what not to do with my dating life! I was determined never to end up with someone like them. My husband has worked since he was 16 and is close to retiring and he isn't even 50 years old yet. Definitely not a loser.

I say scon, but I don't particularly like them anyway.

Wednesday2000

I have definitely decided not to move next year as it is too stressful with Covid. I heard yesterday that staff in the NHS have been told that they need PPE until June next year at least. My husband said that he heard from men at his work that TFL want to cut 25% of jobs so there will probably be a strike this year at some point. He has been working all during lockdown but I'm wondering if TFL want to get rid of staff that were furloughed. That was 25% of their staff I read. They could argue if they managed without them during lockdown then why would they need them now.

Anyway, I suppose there is not point in worrying too much as lots of people are in tricky situations at the moment. Having fibromyalgia a few years ago means we know we can easily live off one salary and we are mortgage free. I credit this forum for that as I read on here (back in 2006 I think) about overpaying the mortgage and how many years you can cut your 25 year mortgage down by. Great advice! If my husband did lose his job we could always just move to a cheaper area anyway.

maman

Oh the notorious Wayne has raised his head again! Will he never give up?? He's obviously got an issue with commitment sugarbaby. I think you described it perfectly when you said he grows older but he doesn't grow up!🤣

It's my DHs birthday today and we're going out for lunch. We did talk about various other things we might do (day out on the Isle of Wight was a possible) but decided it will be better to put things off until the Covid rules are less restrictive. Whenever that is!!☹

To be honest we've not really changed out habits over much since lockdown was announced in March. I do go to a few more shops than the just the  supermarket but only when I really need something rather than browsing. The dress from the CS was sheer chance while I was looking for some fabric I needed. We've eaten out 4 times (including today) . I've been to 2 garden dances and we're looking into whether to continue (socially distanced) dancing indoors when the weather gets colder.  That is allowed as the halls and dance studios we're looking into hiring are allowed to continue with larger groups as commercial premises. I realise that the government is trying to balance the economy against the health risks but it's really tough on young families who have to choose between grandparents if they can see them at all in a group of 6. It's hard to reconcile 'hands, face. space' and other slogans with the classes of 30 (with no space in the room for realistic social distancing)  that my DD is facing day to day.

It's warm and sunny here too. I've put on a floaty, sleeveless dress for lunch in a country pub. I'll take a cardigan in my bag but I don't think I'll be needing it. 😁

sugarbaby125

helensbiggestfan said:

Sugar baby. I did change my post. I thought perhaps I was a bit too forceful in my condemnation of players. and didn’t want to upset you. 😂. But I can see I needn’t have worried.  You are a very wise lady and I think you have been a great role model for your family. You have taught and continue to teach them well.    

I think most of us have had a fling or two with players.  There’s no doubt that “bad boys” can be devilishly attractive and hard to resist.  But for me, having a player as a father taught me to guard my heart.  

I learned from him that bad boys aren’t for marriage or long term commitment. 😉

LL what a shame about your players post. I was not in the least offended about your wise words. The post had actually made me laugh out loud. It was very accurate. 

Usually as I get chatted up, asked for my number and complimented regularly by men trying to start some kind of relationship with me, I have spent the last 3 decades trying to make sure that I do not have relationships with players and/or losers, but twice, (Charles then Wayne) I have had short term relationships with that type of man. Even when I had deep feelings for both, I would not agree to live with them or have them permanently in my life and my caution turned out to be the right decision for me and my children. At certain points in my life I have chosen to be celibate rather than waste my life on a loser and/or player. I was once celibate for 12 years and now I have been celibate for over 2 years and plan to continue being celibate. 

My children have never had to put up with men walking into and out of their lives. They have never needed a step father I am a strong enough parent on my own. My 3 older children have always maintained a relationship with their Father, who is my ex husband. He may have been an absolute !!!!!! of a husband, but he did quite good as a Father. 

My children only met Wayne once I had known him for 2 years and they had nothing against him. He really wanted my younger son and daughter to like him. They did not dislike him, they just accepted him, but once I found out about Juliette they were happy that I decided to dump him. Wayne never got the chance to meet my older son, my older daughter and most of the other members of my family apart from 3 of my sisters and one of my nieces and her partner.

It was easy to move forward and leave Wayne in my past because our lives were never very entwined. There were so many parts of my life that I chose not to share with Wayne, so he still does not know that I love creative writing or how much of a reader I am. Or that I took salsa dancing lessons and that I performed my poetry and short stories at Open Mic nights. I never cooked for Wayne so he is not aware of how good a cook I am. I never allowed Wayne to take a single photo of the 2 of us as I did not want him to be making out we were the kind of couple that were in a committed relationship. I only ever sent Wayne one photo of me, fully dressed and I had 3 photos of Wayne I had taken of him so that my 4 adult children would have an idea of what he looked like. I made Wayne delete my photo in front of me and I deleted his 3 photos of him. 

Wayne would like to be at least friends with me, but I told him I already had enough family and friends. If I run into him in person I am prepared to be friendly as I do not hold any grudges. 

Once again the World is being reminded by this pandemic that life for some us can be short, I have always hoped to be fortunate enough to live a long life, but time will tell. I do not procrastinate, I try to cram as much living as I can into each and every day. I find joy in my life in even the smallest pleasures. Nothing about living through this pandemic so far has made me despondent, fearful or down in any way. 

Wednesday2000

I went through my wardrobe again to look for stuff to donate and realised there is a black Dotty P dress I haven't worn yet. It has a lace part to the top half and it is knee length. I got it from a chazzer just before lockdown and forgot about it. I tried it on yesterday and think it will look okay in cooler weather with tights, a cardigan and boots so I'm keeping it.

Fabbing wise I just used my Garnier banana hair mask and then washed and conditioned my hair. That mask smells so lovely! I stopped doing the curly girl method as I wasn't sure curly hair suits me. I am still using the afro comb and the paddle brush, though. It seems like using those makes my hair less greasy as I only have to wash it every three days instead of every other day now. I'm not sure what the reason for that would be. I also placed an order for Superdrug. I got lip balm, lipsticks, face wash and scrub and shower gel.

helensbiggestfan

hi Wednesday.  

 Yes I have been hearing stuff about Covid still being with us well into next year.  Depressing thought isn’t it. I think you are wise to be fluid in your plans to move house. Maybe next year won’t be a good time, not just for Covid but the end of stamp duty holiday might depress the market and who knows what the economy will be like.  No point trying to second guess everything.  

I think the best we can all do is try to stay fit and healthy, stay out of harms way and try to ensure our finances are in good shape.  I know that’s easier  said than done.  I think we might be in for a rough ride And a lot of people are going to struggle.   

I know I’ve said I’m not looking forward to locking down again But I’m lucky really. 

Just had a call from SIL. She was due to come here  next month for a little holiday. She’s decided it’s best if they stay put for a while. She must be psychic. 😂

Got a bit of a gyppy tummy today and am sneezing a lot. Must be an allergic reaction to those scones.  😂🤣. 

chanie

Sugar I really enjoy hearing the Wayne updates.  He is very persistent!!!

i have had a very productive day.  After the school run, I dropped something off at the Drs, then back home for the boiler service, then a tip run, supermarket trip and I’ve just sorted out a bag of paperwork (recycling, filing and shredding).

I really thought there would be a queue for the tip, as it is often quite busy, but I only had to wait a 5 minuteA for a parking space.  I only had about 7 items, most of it wasn’t heavy, but were bulky items like an old washing rack and some mdf panels. 

Other tasks this week - possibly another tip run, sort out a box of paperwork (hopefully, i will be able to shred it all) and a trip to the vets. 

candygirl

It's a sc-on 😂😂

FreetodoasIlike

Scon-on for me too!

Sugar - being fairly new I haven’t heard of Wayne before but from reading your post it sounds like you dodged a bullet there. You come across as a strong, independent woman and the last thing you need in your fulfilling life is an immature man.  Some men are needy though.  I was only married three years before I met my OH, with whom I’ve been with for nearly 40 years.  I had been with my ex since around the age of 18 so he was my first serious boyfriend.  I left as he hit me a third time and I was NOT going to put up with that.  I know some women stay because of children and it’s not always easy to leave.  My ex found someone else almost a month after I left and she quickly moved in with her children.  I’ve no idea how it panned out as I moved away but I knew her from the odd social contact and was surprised that she moved in so quickly,  i didn’t give a fig about it but was hugely surprised that she would bring her children into a relationship so soon.  If I had had children, like you, I would never have done it.  My OH is lovely.  As I said previously, he’s 15 years older than me and looks out for me as I do him.  I have no idea if my ex is still with the woman who moved in and don’t care. I just hope that he treated her better than me.  He had his own business and drove a nice car so that may have been the attraction 😂😂

Pixie - good luck with the de-cluttering.  I’m glad to find a fellow minimalist.  Alas, my OH is NOT a minimalist.  I solved the problem by building an extension on our bungalow using my retirement lump sum and putting him up there😁. He has all his toys and stuff and is very happy.  He can gather as much clutter as he can but the rest of the house has to be clutter free.  I’m probably sounding a bit controlling and not putting myself in a good light here but it works for us.  What would be “homely” to some would be a nightmare for me  😳

I’m not far from Bolton so it’s very worrying news. Like you LL I try and put it to the back of my mind.  It’s not easy though and with a little one on the way you need to keep safe.