Frump to Fab - A Whole New World.

Wednesday2000

Maman has been banned?! The mind boggles. Hopefully an admin mistake and she will be back soon.

Well, I thought I had a lot of toiletries but Sugarbaby has shown me I haven't got that much really.

LL -15 mins to 35 mins in a week is fantastic progress! You put me to shame.

I got the day wrong and my Zoom session is tomorrow, I think. I was watching a YouTube video about how to look better on a Zoom meeting today. I will try it out tomorrow, haha.

FreetodoasIlike

Me too re: maman I hope she comes back soon. 

Sugar  - Once again you cease to amaze me with your stockpile of essentials. I went to Boots this afternoon (as it was in the same shopping complex as TESCO/ASDA) and the hand wash was reduced, so I bought two for my store cupboard.

LL -  You amaze me with your physical activity.  Yesterday I felt a bit sorry for myself.  I am in pain every day (although some days the pain isn’t as bad).  I am trying to move more (dancing, walking and just generally getting up from the sofa and walk around a bit more.  A work colleague once opened up to me about her fibromyalgia.  We weren’t particularly close but she just wanted someone to talk to (I worked in an independent school and she and I were one of the few who were working during the summer holidays, apart from the maintenance and grounds staff).  She tried so hard to carry on working, even though every day she was in so much pain.  She eventually reduced her hours to part-time and then retired fully in her early 50s.  She was quite a bit younger than me and eventually sold her three-bedroom semi to be mortgage free and bought a static caravan (quite luxury though) on the outskirts of the Lake District.  She has never been happier and takes each day as it comes.  I know this, as she is still in contact with her previous line manager who kept me informed.  My pain is nowhere as bad as hers but for the last three or four years it has always been constant.  An MRI scan only showed up wear and tear.  Do you find that regular massages help?  Did acupuncture help?  Acupuncture helped slightly for me so I think I will give it another go.  Are you in pain every day?  I am, but today was a “good” day in as much that it was manageable. Tomorrow might be a different story though.  😔 I would really be interested to hear how you cope with setbacks with regard to your pain.  Only if you’re happy to share, though.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

I am shocked that Maman has been banned. She was a really valued contributor. I hope this is rectified as soon as possible. She will be sorely missed. 

LL you are doing fantastic with your chosen forms of exercise   

thepurplepixie

Oh no, can't believe Maman has been banned.  Hope she is OK.

helensbiggestfan

FTD...... Of course I don't mind sharing. 

 It's good that your MRI scan only shows up "wear and tear" rather than any serious defects or abnormalities.  I think you can work on that.  

Fibro  is one of those weird mystery things that comes and goes and no one really understands it. Apparently it can strike as a result of trauma or injury, or prolonged stress or a period of unrelated illness such as a virus.  A bit like ME it's often misunderstood and sometimes even medics dismiss it as a form of hypochondria or psychosomatic illness. When in fact any sufferer will tell you that the pain is real. A lot of GPs are at a loss how best to treat It and can often be very dismissive. 

A lot of fibro sufferers also have arthritis, they seem to go together.    I think I am very fortunate in that I have a relatively mild version - at least compared with some people.  And yes I do experience pain every day.  It was quite severe at first, especially in the aftermath of my husbands death but it is definitely getting better, but it has taken a long time.  My husband died 6 years ago and it's only now that I feel my body is finally healing.  

I found out early on that I couldn't take any of the usual arthritis meds because they exacerbated my stomach problems so for me the journey back to wellness has been slow and tortuous at times.  I've never bothered asking for fibro meds. 

One thing that did help enormously was seeing a nutritionist who was a fibro sufferer herself.  I had suffered with IBS, GERD and a duodenal ulcer for most of my life and had already worked out that wheat didn't seem to suit me but she explained that Both fibro and arthritis were often linked to diet.  She explained about inflammation, joint and muscle pain and how they are often go hand in hand with stomach problems, especially IBS.  

Since then I have overhauled my diet, avoiding grains, soya, potatoes, reducing dairy and switching to lactofree milk.  Now that my stomach has healed I can indulge in "forbidden foods" occasionally but I soon know if I have overdone it. There are certain foods which I simply won't touch because I know they will leave me in agony. White rice, cheap mass produced white bread and pizza are the worst.  I just stay well clear.  A bowl of pasta has to be a once in a blue moon treat. 

 She also advised me to take a good probiotic and suggested a range of supplements -  magnesium, Vit B, Vit D And Vit C.  It sounds a lot and I was a bit dubious at first but oddly enough the chiro also prescribed the same regime. 

When my husband died I was also suffering from thyroid issues and adrenal fatigue - I know I sound like I was a wreck And it's true in many ways I was. In truth  I was quite simply burnt out, physically and mentally exhausted. My endocrine system was shot.  However with care, rest, sleep, the vitamin support and a good healthy diet I am now much better.  

As well as changing my eating habits and shedding weight,  I find hot baths, with Epsom salts and lavender oil very beneficial.  I know SUgarbaby swears by this as well.  Heat helps so I do try to ensure I keep warm, electric blanket, heated sofa throw, dressing warmly, especially my feet.  Sudden changes in temperature can affect me quite badly so at the first sign of cold damp weather I know to get warm as quickly as possible. Acupuncture helps my knees, and massages really help smooth out and relax tight knotted muscles.  

Exercise.......this is the big one.  I took a lot of convincing because the thought of exercising when  I was in a lot of pain just seemed so contrary.  But the more I have read and the more I have spoken to physios etc  the more I have come to understand that regular exercise was the key to getting well again. 

It's essential to keep moving but it has to be the right form of exercise and it think it's trial and error.  What suits one person might not suit someone else.  But the truth is the human body is designed for movement and if for whatever reason we don't move enough we are storing up a heap of problems. It's a vicious circle which we have to break because the less we move, the more the muscles get tight and stiff. The muscle fibres themselves get shorter and this in turn Puts extra pressure on the joints, decreasing mobility and increasing pain. It seems keeping muscles loose and moving freely is the key. 

So although when we are in pain the last thing we feel like is exercise, it appears to be the case that this is the time when we need it most.  I think if we can think in terms of movement rather than exercise it helps get us started. It doesn't have to be sweating it out in a gym or pounding the pavements or a treadmill but just simply moving more,  

I think we just have to experiment to see what we can manage, take it slowly and build up gradually, making sure we warm up well first to avoid injury.  I never could run properly, no idea why, I'm just useless and even too much or too brisk walking will aggravate my right knee thanks to a torn meniscus so for a long while I didn't do any cardio.  My chiro gave me a stern talking to and said I simply had to do some cardio as well as stretching and physio.  Yoga, pilates and stretching are great for flexibility, balance and freeing stiff muscles, but they don't get the heart rate up and the blood pumping which apparently we need to do every day for heart health, to keep our energy levels up and the blood pumping through our body to give oxygen to our muscles and remove the build up of lactic acid and toxins.  So seeing that running, brisk walking and even cycling are out I decided to try Zumba and my Bollywood dancing. I can adapt the steps to ensure I don't aggravate my knee and it's a great cardio work out. And I have to say because I enjoy dancing it's a lot more fun than running or slogging it out on a treadmill.  😂🤣. 

Even though I only began in earnest a week ago I can feel the difference already.  The first couple of days were so hard I could only manage a short session but just by adding a few minutes each day I can see a big improvement.  30 minutes of cardio is recommended. I can now manage that fairly easily, so I just need to ensure I keep at it and don't backslide and fall back into my old bad habits.  🤞.   

I am determined to turn back my body clock and reclaim some of my old energy, zest for life and vitality. I want to get rid of my pain and to remain mobile and independent for as long as possible.  I've got a long way to go but I will persevere until I get there.  

My goal is Sensational  at 70 and that means being fit, healthy, agile, supple and strong.  

sheilavw

hope Maman is back soon. I have pledged to walk/swim etc 100k throughout September to raise money for MND charity, the cruel disease that I lost my Husband too last July. His MND team usually do a walk but due to covid this is their challenge for this year so I have signed up. Yesterday I had 18.513 steps in just running round the large school that I work in. Tonight I hope to go and do my 40 lengths at the gym.  I've done about 37km in 3 days so expect to reach my target in a few days. I really miss my bath, we had a wet room put in last year. I went away with my daughters to Wales last weekend, I had a bath morning and night in my room!

helensbiggestfan

Good Morning lovely ladies 

sheila - what a wonderful thing you are doing to raise funds for the MND charity.  Well done so far and good luck with your challenge. It is such a cruel disease.  My husbands illness wasn't actually MND but often, whenever I had to try and explain his illness to someone and I could see they were perplexed, they found it easier to understand If I just said his condition was similar to MND. The symptoms and it's progression were very similar.  Alas, the same with the prognosis.  A foregone conclusion I'm afraid so anything that can help with research to find better treatments. All the best to you Sheila. 

And........You're right, a shower isn't as good for easing pain as immersing yourself in a bath.  I am not looking forward to the day I can no longer use a bath. 

Chiro this Morning and then over the next few days I want to start planting some shrubs, trees and bulbs.  A big job so I will remember the elephant and just do a bit each day.  Practice my hour a day rule.  

For anyone who doesn't know the hour a day rule it's something I started a few years ago.  Whenever I feel overwhelmed or am faced with a task or problem which seems insurmountable or even something which I just don't fancy doing I break it down into manageable chunks, setting myself the challenge of giving it an hour a day until the job is done.  

You can use the hr a day rule for just about anything, even fabbing.  If you can't manage an hour then just give it what time you do have.  Even 10 mins a day better than nothing.  Success in any endeavour is always down to consistency rather than the occasional flash of brilliance and then nothing. The best results come from gradually tweaking our routines and building up good habits. And of course never giving up or giving in to despair and overwhelm.   The same rule applies to just about anything you can think of. 

The best mantra I was ever taught is "Persistence Pays Off". 

I think the only real failure in life is in failing to keep trying. Cheesy but true.😁.  

  

thriftylynny

Long time lurker here & i just happily read along , popped in to say i am sorry too that Maman has been banned , This is such a lovely supportive friendly thread & Maman & all of you seem like lovely ladies who live in the REAL world .& i find you all quite inspiring ! No one has banned anyone from a thread i started recently to ask a straightforward question that i was concerned about, i am so upset with most of the replies , one of which alluded to me needing psychiatric help because of my nature ...what ??? The whole thing spoilt my other half's 60th birthday evening because i got so upset & worked up over the comments coming in ..i daren't even look at it anymore & wish i could delete the whole damn thread !! Some people are nice & supportive ,such as Maman & get a ban ? ,

helensbiggestfan

oh dear oh dear thriftylynny. How horrible for you.  Please try to put it behind you and look to the future.  Easier said than done sometimes I know, people can be cruel, and vicious at times.  Unfortunately there can be as much bullying in cyber space as there can in real life.  

What can I say, we all know that bullies are always cowards at heart and in cyberspace there are no real restraints like there are in real life.  Keyboard warriors can hide behind their screens and spew out their venom and there's little that can be done, other than reporting someone.  

Why on earth anyone would feel the need to report Maman is beyond my comprehension because I think she is one of the most genuinely kind people you could wish to meet, often very wise and always supportive.  We can always agree to disagree with someone, we don't have to see eye to eye on every topic, after all we are not clones we are individuals but there is no excuse for the abuse you suffered.  

Please feel free to join our merry gang and join in with the chat and fun.  It's a bit like a virtual coffee morning with your best pals. 

Re your thread I Don't know how to delete threads or even if you can with the new layout.  Perhaps one of our more techno savvy ladies can help.  If not I am sure if you approached the moderators they would help you.  If not I think you can still put the offending posters on ignore.  Other people will still be able to see what they have written but at least you won't have to.  

Have you ever heard of the "red velvet rope policy".  Basically it's a metaphorical rope which you use to cordon off your own private space......a bit like those VIP areas In nightclubs so beloved of celebs.  😂. You just cut out the people who have hurt and upset you, you don't allow them into your private space, either physical or mental. You just keep them at arms length.  It might mean physically avoiding all contact with them or it might just mean keeping things close to your chest....not confiding in them and keeping your private thoughts, plans, hopes and dreams to yourself, sticking to safe and Bland mundane topics of conversation. 

Social media can be brutal so do be careful on forums, Facebook, Twitter etc.  There are a lot of weird people out there and things like brexit and Covid seem to have brought out the worst in some people.  

Don't be disheartened, there are still lots of nice, kind, genuine and generous people around.  

As Hemingway once said.  

"The world is still a mighty fine place".

And remember.....you don't have to show up for every argument........

Just sashay away and leave them to it.  😉

FreetodoasIlike

Thank you LL for your very sound and comprehensive advice.  I will certainly take this on board, particularly the exercise and nutrition advice. My scan showed wear and tear of the facet joints and I was prescribed physiotherapy.  I went to two private therapists as well as NHS group sessions. They all recommended doing stretching exercises but to be honest I didn’t keep them up; just laziness on my part.  I did join a gym but realised pounding on the treadmill wasn’t for me.  I joined because it had two pools and a hydro pool.  I got some slight relief from the hydro pool but as I’m not a particularly strong swimmer I didn’t pursue it.  I did find though that walking in the water helped but I think I was a nuisance to the other swimmers!  I agree that you have to do some form of cardio as well as stretching and I’m finding I quite enjoy dancing so I will keep that up.  I used to do ballet as a child and I can’t believe how supple I used to be.  Nowadays, I can barely touch my toes.  

I was sorry to hear that you had a difficult time in the aftermath of your husband’s death.  It must have been so hard for you. It looks like you have moved forward and determined to live life to the full and I commend you for that.  I love your “hour a day rule” and your “red velvet rope” policy. Again, good advice.  I have a tendency to “overshare” sometimes and can be over sensitive when confronted with certain situations.  I tend not to get involved in a lot of social media.  I particularly dislike Facebook where a lot of people show off their “perfect” lives because nobody lives a perfect life.  I joined Gransnet, although I’m not an actual gran, but step gran.  I found some of the posts lighthearted and interesting but some of the political posts were so biased either left or right that there wasn’t any meaningful discussion.  I posted what I thought was a reasonable and balanced comment and was almost trolled thriftylynny so I know how you feel. I thought that as most of the members on there were a similar age to me I would be amongst like-minded people. To be fair, most of them were but after receiving a lot of nasty replies on one of the political threads I decided to limit my posts to the lighthearted ones.  

I like LLs comparison to this thread as being like a virtual coffee morning with your pals.  I have only recently joined so haven’t been around very long but I’m certainly enjoying it.