Frump to Fab - A Whole New World.

Wednesday2000

I haven't been feeling too fab lately as I had to have my cat put to sleep on Monday. I couldn't even go with my husband as the vet only allowed one person in per household.

I just shaved my legs, put on body lotion, put on makeup and put on one of my favourite dresses. I'm only going to see the Amazon and Ocado delivery drivers today. Well, and my husband, haha.

savingfortomorrow

wednesday - i am sorry to hear about your cat, pets are so important now, its very hard.

Wednesday2000

savingfortomorrow said:

wednesday - i am sorry to hear about your cat, pets are so important now, its very hard.

Thanks. xxx

thepurplepixie

Wednesday that is sad and I'm sorry it had to happen.  We have enough going on now without losing pets.
I think I'm going crazy, is it the heat or the situation or maybe just me?  I never want to hear "unprecedented" again as long as I live.  I also don't want to hear about flattening sombreros or playing whack a mole with viruses or even pumping brakes.  I definitely don't want to hear we have a world beating anything unless they can actually prove we have one.  I think I'm feeling irritated.
My husband was very ill yesterday, he was convinced he was dying, I'm not sure if it was the heat or something else.  I feel so tired of it all.  I watched a programme about Bob Monkhouse on BBC4 last night, I didn't even like him and I sat there crying.  I wish I knew what to do.

Wednesday2000

thepurplepixie said:

Wednesday that is sad and I'm sorry it had to happen.  We have enough going on now without losing pets.
I think I'm going crazy, is it the heat or the situation or maybe just me?  I never want to hear "unprecedented" again as long as I live.  I also don't want to hear about flattening sombreros or playing whack a mole with viruses or even pumping brakes.  I definitely don't want to hear we have a world beating anything unless they can actually prove we have one.  I think I'm feeling irritated.
My husband was very ill yesterday, he was convinced he was dying, I'm not sure if it was the heat or something else.  I feel so tired of it all.  I watched a programme about Bob Monkhouse on BBC4 last night, I didn't even like him and I sat there crying.  I wish I knew what to do.

Thanks. I hate this heat as well and I'm avoiding the news too. I can't take all the bad news at the moment.

I hope your husband feels better today.

helensbiggestfan

Oh Pixie.  I couldn't just read and run.   So sorry to hear you are feeling so bad.  You sound utterly defeated and overwhelmed.  I read  your post with tears in my eyes.  

I know your husband has been disabled for a long time and I know the stress it can cause on those who care for them.  I remember it well, the utter exhaustion, the feelings of hopelessness and overwhelm.  I am sorry I have no pearls of wisdom, there are no words to wipe away your pain and distress. Just sending you my heartfelt best wishes.  If it helps, just come on here and pour your heart out.  That's what I did, many times. 😥.  And people like Maman, Candy  and SUgarbaby who have been with this thread since the beginning were just wonderful. So kind and supportive.  I must have bored them half to death at times,  but,  if I did, they never let on. 

I used to feel that I couldn't burden my kids or friends with how bad I felt. My sister and my father didn't seem to care what I was going through. I felt I had no one to turn to. It was without doubt the loneliest bleakest time of my life. It's no exaggeration to say that this thread was my lifesaver. Better than therapy.  

Wednesday.......how sad to hear about your cat. It's never a good time to lose a much loved pet but just now it's even harder.  

Well my lovely ladies.....I hope you are all ok.  I'm not feeling 100% today.....a mass of aches and pains. Trying to mow my wretched lawn and I'm struggling.  I keep having to take a break.  In my heyday I would have rattled through it in about 15 minutes, now it takes me an eternity and then most of the next day to recover.  

When I was young I felt immortal. When  I was in in my 50s I still could give women half my age a run for their money.....now I just feel wrecked. 🤣. Has age finally caught up with me or is it just a temporary blip.  Hopefully the latter.  

The other day DIL was saying that both my sons seem to view me as some kind of superwoman, that I am tireless and can do just about anything......😂🤣. Little do they know.  I confessed to DIL that even superwomen get tired and have to concede defeat sometimes. Sad to say, my energy levels just aren't what they were.  And I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.   I have never really recovered from being a carer, it absolutely knocked the stuffing out of me.  I keep hoping that one day I will bounce back and recover some of my old vivacious self. 

Anyway I have been giving the matter a great deal of thought.  I'm going to get rid of the wretched lawn, it's just an eyesore, lawn is too good a word for it. It really Is no better than scrub grass, choked with weeds, dying off in parts.  It doesn't matter how much I cut it, weed and feed it, fertilise it, it never looks any better.  It has to go. I will spend the money I saved by not going to Iceland having the garden landscaped.  So there. 😂. 

I shudder to think about the cost but I have simply had enough. I just want somewhere nice to sit out and enjoy. And anyway,  let's face it I won't be travelling anywhere this year and maybe not even next at this rate.  I certainly won't be cruising again until there is a vaccine.  

So I'm going to invest in making my life easier. 

Break over, time to get back and finish cutting that blasted grass. 

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

Pixie I am so sorry that you are feeling quite hopeless at the moment. What can you do?

Firstly you can come here where your friends can give you support in your hour of need.

You can off load some of your angst and your worries onto us, our shoulders and backs are broad and we can help to lift some of the burden just by being here for you. You can be honest with us, you can rail against the hand that has been served up to you and your husband. You can let it all out knowing that we will not judge you. 

I am so sorry to hear that your husband had such a difficult day that he felt like he was dying. He must have been absolutely terrified and you had to be strong for him to get him through such an agonising time for him and you. 

You do not need to be strong when you come to tell us just how hard it is to be a carer for your husband. 

Deliberately watch TV programmes which will allow you to feel your grief and your pain at the whole situation you and your husband have to live through each day. Let the tears come. It is better for you to allow your grief and your anger and other feelings to come out in the safe haven of your own home when you need it. 

Pixie. please take care of yourself with the same patience and loving kindness in which you care for your husband. You are not just your husband's faithful carer you are a woman who is worth so much in your own right. 

helensbiggestfan

Wednesday2000 said:

thepurplepixie said:

Wednesday that is sad and I'm sorry it had to happen.  We have enough going on now without losing pets.
I think I'm going crazy, is it the heat or the situation or maybe just me?  I never want to hear "unprecedented" again as long as I live.  I also don't want to hear about flattening sombreros or playing whack a mole with viruses or even pumping brakes.  I definitely don't want to hear we have a world beating anything unless they can actually prove we have one.  I think I'm feeling irritated.
My husband was very ill yesterday, he was convinced he was dying, I'm not sure if it was the heat or something else.  I feel so tired of it all.  I watched a programme about Bob Monkhouse on BBC4 last night, I didn't even like him and I sat there crying.  I wish I knew what to do.

Thanks. I hate this heat as well and I'm avoiding the news too. I can't take all the bad news at the moment.

I hope your husband feels better today.

Very wise....I have completely given up on the news.  I watch the headlines or catch up with them on the internet once a day and that's it.  

I watched The Imitation Game last night. About Alan Turing (Father of  Computers) and the work the team did at Bletchley Park.  Poor poor man. And after all he did.  Some thanks.  😟

Wednesday2000

LL - I felt like that after caring for my husband. I was so emotionally, mentally and physically drained that I didn't think I would ever recover. I finally got my health back since the end of 2018 to early 2019 but he was diagnosed back in 2013 so it really did hit me hard. It must have been much more difficult for losing your husband after caring for him.xxx

I'm so glad I had a year of feeling good health wise and going out to concerts and restaurants in 2019, especially with what this year brought for all of us!

Pixie - I was thinking have you seen if you can access any local support as a carer? I didn't when my husband was ill but if he ever got ill again I definitely would. You might not be able to go to a carer support group at this time but maybe there are online support groups on forums. I read that my local hospice offers free massages and other relaxing treatments to carers which I also would take advantage of if he got cancer back. That might be worth looking into for you so you can have a break.

maman

Sending you a big virtual hug pixie. I think we can all empathise with how you're feeling about lockdown but then you have your worries about DH's health on top.  I'm not surprised that you feel the way you do. It's tough.☹

I'm as fed up as you are with all the cliches and slogans. I find them irritating and patronising.  'Ramping Up' is one of m betes noir. I think the PM should look up how Whack a Mole works. The whole point is that is that you never win, as fast as you suppress one mole, another pops up somewhere else unless your timing is absolutely perfect when you might  get ahead momentarily. 

Sorry to hear about your cat Wednesday. Losing a pet is so ad as they become like one of the family.

It' 31+ degrees here so definitely no lawn mowing or anything similarly taxing going on. I'm sure some sort of courtyard area where you can sit out and maybe have pots and/or raised beds is the way to go LL.  Anywhere that's not secluded then just something good to look at from the windows/kerb appeal can be as low maintenance as you can do. 

I've dug out a short beach dress from my sunshine box today. I'd normally wear it over a bikini and it's definitely too short for Sainsbury's!😁 but it's cool (ish). I need to do a manicure today. My nails are getting so long that I keep making typos and then have to spend an age correcting everything.

I don't know if anyone is watching A Suitable Boy. It's rare that DH and I sit together to watch a TV programme as we have very different tastes but we both like this.  It's a bit of an involved plot but I'm enjoying it.