Back, determined to be debt free but ever so slightly depressed

Mnd

Hi Uni, nice to hear from you. I remember your posts from a couple of years ago (how time flies) sorry to hear your OH is unchanged. You must have the patience of a saint!

Uniscots97

Mnd I don't know if it's patience or he's just pig headed or both. He wasn't happy about the move and refused to help.... at all. Spriggan, not a lot of positives it's me that does everything for LO.
Quiet evening, tv, and an early night. He's asleep already

Vikipollard

Uniscots97 wrote: »

Thanks Jon and Movingforwards. I needed to vent, but I can't keep going bailing him out. It's me that keeps a roof over our heads, not him. He had a major fall out with my family (due to him drinking) but blamed them. He now tries to male it difficult for me to see them etc.

Thank you for all the suggestions, I'll have a look at the book. Just batch cooked a stew that I can portion up and freeze. Off to scan a load of receipts my Mum gave me.
I'm going to keep posting, keep me on track and keep me sane!! I'll need to update my signature

The bit in red worries me. The petulant child sulking behaviour is one thing, but trying to make it difficult for you to see your family has more red flags than a Liverpool match.

Also, stop giving him money. If he earns almost the same as you, then he should be giving you an equitable amount, particularly as you have the LO as well.

ThatKiss

Hi Uni,

Just wanted to say I've subscribed for your journey. Glad to hear you're making progress but I have to echo the comments above questioning OH. His behaviour sounds toxic and detrimental to yourself.

You flag him up in your initial post as "the problem" so it sounds like you've recognised that. I hope you can find a way forward in resolving that issue to help yourself.

Uniscots97

Morning All, happy new year everyone! My banking app is down. Mine is one of the banks affected. When TSB was affected last year I opened an account with one of the new internet banks so I would still have access to some money. My childcare payments (breakfast club, holiday club and after school) are due today. I've paid what I can out of my childcare vouchers (I applied for the maximum I was allowed when LO was born. OH never bothered). Just worried as I can't get into my account as I normally switch money around. I keep separate pots for different things and is meant to move money last night for the childcare standing order. But wondering if that will go today because it's New Year's Day?

buythedip

Your fella sounds like a loser/man child; where is the teamwork??

Karonher

I don't know if this will help, but my payments that should go out today have not been taken. I don't know who you bank with but it could mean that the money was not transferred, and also mean that the people meant to be getting money today will not have the payment taken today.

tallyhoh

Wish I'd got rid of my waste of space years ago, he has same problems.

Thinking seriously about getting rid soon.

Best of luck!

Uniscots97

Buythedip, teamwork is non-existent

Karonher, thank you it did eventually get sorted. The group of banks I'm with made the news this morning with their services being down. It was being quoted as 48 hours to be fixed but thankfully was fixed by lunchtime. But it's made me realise I need to be better at shifting money before it's needed (I have virtual pots for different things).

Tallyhoh, I can sympathise. It's a horrible situation to be in.

Not really money saving today as was a family birthday with a bought cake (didn't feel upto making one) and flowers. Home made tea which LO loved (made in my slow cooker, which I got off freecycle about 10+ years ago. The ceramic bowl has a large crack developing in it so I will need to change it soon).

Hope everyone had a nice New Year's Day.

maddiemay

Hi Uniscots, so pleased to see your name pop up, but I am really sorry to read that your life has not changed for the better. Your OH needs a sharp hard kick up the backside, and as others have said I think you should have a long hard think about the future for you and your LO. OH is not going to change and the fact that he is trying to separate you from your family rings very large alarm bells.

Please take great care, you should not have to take this verbal abuse and sulks, time after time.
MM x