Keeping Going For My Furbabies

Bogof_OAP

Forgot to check my bookmarks for a couple of days, but having found this just wanted to say I'm sorry you've not been feeling too good, and hoping you get better soon.  The hot weather has been draining even if you're not stuck in a roasting flat, but now it's got a bit cooler that should help.  Take it easy and let your mum look after you, it's what they do best!

astrocytic_kitten

That sounds awful, it seems you just can’t catch a break. I hope it passes soon xx

StartingAgainAt29

Thanks @Bogof_Babe and @astrocytic_kitten for checking in on me!

So I'm still not 100%, but I'm trying to do a handful of tasks a day so I don't feel like life is just passing me by and being wasted. I still have daily migraines and my stomach is giving me a lot of issues. There was me worrying about putting on lockdown pounds! I've only been able to have one main meal a day if I'm lucky, the rest of the day I'm relying on meal replacement drinks and small snacks to keep my blood sugar up. I've had a couple of slow walks to get out the flat. I'm hoping to try some slow yoga this week.

Money-wise I haven't been too bad, partly because my mum has brought me the only food I've been eating. I still have plenty in the cupboards and fridge, but I need to venture out to Aldi today as I'm on the last sachets of cat food. It's difficult to get hold of their food again, every time my mum goes out she has a look for me and doesn't see them. Hopefully I'll be lucky today. It's the first time I've been out properly in over two weeks, I don't feel 100% up to it but needs must.

I realised I had just about the same amount in my Good Riddance Savings Fund as the balance (pre-holiday) on my CC, so I've decided to withdraw it, and add the remaining £20 from my OP fund, and clear that portion of the CC. I do still have my holiday on there, but I was always going to deal with that separately.

Speaking of holiday, the airline cancelled the flights from here to Peru, but the internal flights are still live. So I need to contact the airline to see what can be done about that because obviously I can't use those flights. It's these tasks I haven't been able to do since I've been ill as I've had pure brain fog this whole time. 

In a bid to try and be MSE last night I realised my eggs were going out of date today as I haven't been cooking. So I boiled them last night and put them in the fridge for some protein snacks this week. I hate food waste but I just haven't been able to get to some of the stuff before it's gone off as I've not been eating!

Ex emailed last week about the flat, but I told him I'm ill and I'll get in touch when I feel better. Definitely don't need that stress right now.

I've got an ultrasound scan at the hospital later this week as they want to check for gallstones, and it's my mum's 60th on Saturday, so I've got permission from the other people in my building to have the roof terrace for that day. I'm going to decorate it, put my balcony furniture out there, get some pizza and prosecco in, and a cake. I think it will just be me, my mum, one brother and hopefully my nephew. My other brother is living with his dad and has been since lockdown, and it's not close enough really for a one-day visit.

My friend has let me know that her company has one month internships going, they work exclusively from home which is good. It would be beneficial for me to have something else on my CV, not all of them are paid but even if it's not this is the prime time for me to do something like that while I'm in the position to. My friend told the recruitment team about me so I'm going to drop them an email at some point this week and see if there's anything they can do for me. They are a technical company and it would be useful to have that type of experience, it's completely different to my previous work place. We'll see!

I'm way behind on my creative writing course, but luckily my tutor is understanding and I'll try and get my assignments over to her as and when I can. I've been struggling with CBT too as I haven't been able to do the experiments, both because of lockdown but also because of my illness. Luckily my adviser is also understanding, I think I'm coming up to the end of my allocated sessions so don't want to waste them!

I've probably missed loads but I'll try to write again either tomorrow or in the next couple of days. Hope everyone has a good week!

StartingAgainAt29

Oh yeah, knew I'd forgotten something!
So we've done the remortgage to start beginning of September, ofc I had to do the admin and chasing for it even though I was ill! The monthly payment will be £100 more than currently, but it means we won't have an early release fee for when the flat is sold, which saves us a fair few grand (I think around 4/5!) That's one thing done so we don't have to think about it.

StartingAgainAt29

Hi everyone!

I ended up spending just over £40 in Aldi, but I managed to get 6 boxes of cat food which will last me through to the end of the month. I went out today to drop off a sample to the GP for testing, and then walked up to Sainsburys as I haven't been for a walk in so long. Spent £7 on a couple of bits I couldn't get in Aldi, and a large toblerone for my dad for Father's Day. I also went to B&M tonight, spent £11 on a toblerone for me, and some bits for my mum's bday on Saturday. I can't find birthday banners anywhere, so I'll try to get them when I get her birthday cake. I need to remember to get some prosecco in as well.

I'm taking each day as comes, I'm trying to drive every day or two as my car battery has died twice now due to lack of use. The plus side is I now know how to use a jumpstart every cloud.

The money has been paid off the CC so the old balance on it is officially 0! So is my savings, but I can rebuild that.

I'm still struggling with the housework side of things - I think being stuck inside all the time it's the last thing I want to be doing, even though I feel better when the place is clean and tidy. I'm trying to priotise and give myself an admin task a day. I haven't done anything about my holiday and flights yet, I keep putting it off. I will try and get that done this week. I'm majorly behind on my writing, but I've managed to get one assignment done tonight which makes me feel a bit better. I keep trying to write in the morning when historically I've never been able to be creative in the morning. I wonder if it's something I can teach myself? Or it's just better to go with my flow. On the vain side of things, I've been putting makeup the past few days which is my normal, it was so bizarre to be so ill I couldn't sit at my makeup table! I've put gel polish on my toes, and done my nails. I also washed my hair yesterday, which is a huge performance atm. I'm feeling a bit more put together for when I do venture outside. My eyebrows are at that stage where they've grown out so much they look good I last had them done before lockdown in March, so it's been a long time! There was definitely a dodgy stage for a while there. I'm booked in for the 4th July providing everything goes to plan with restrictions being lifted.

I haven't exercised yet since I've been ill, so tomorrow I'll try and do either some yoga, or go for a walk with my zombie app. I've turned the chases off though because I'm definitely not in the shape to be chased by zombies right now

I got an adorable cartoon done of the boys from a graphic designer on Instagram, it only cost me £13 for both which I think is pretty cheap. I've seen other similar things for £50+ for the file alone. My mum says we can use her printer if we get some nice paper. I'd like it to hang above the desk in the office, and it's something I can take when I leave.

Good night everyone!

astrocytic_kitten

Well done on being debt free!! That’s brilliant 😃 

You’re sounding really positive, glad you’re starting to feel better physically. You have also given me a toblerobe craving 😆

StartingAgainAt29

Thanks @astrocytic_kitten! Did you get a toblerone?

I feel like I need to come on here and confess as I feel I'm losing my MSE ways. I've been spending money on food like it's nothing, mainly takeaways, because so often I get to this time of night and I'm too ill to cook, and/or the only thing I fancy is sushi. It lasts me two meals, but I can't afford to drop £18 every week on sushi, no matter how much I like it. Health wise I'm still struggling, I'm finding a new normal (bad normal) with my stomach, but my migraines are still crippling. I've got on the waitlist to be seen by my optician in case it's my prescription or God forbid something more sinister. If it's not then it'll be good to rule that out. I had a scan at the hospital on Thursday, they were looking for gallstones. I didn't believe that was my issue, and lo and behold they didn't find anything. They saw me quickly though so although I am frustrated with my GP I can't really complain about the NHS in general at the moment. I had my monthly hospital appointment yesterday and had to walk all the way round the building to find the new entrance. So that was an impromptu morning walk in the sunshine lol.

Right so to get myself back on track, I have £80 to last until the end of the month for food and other general bits and pieces. My fridge and freezer are pretty stocked, I have options for meals, so my goal is to not spend ANYTHING until the weekend if I can help it. If i need fruit or some bits for breakfast that's fine, but I need to work through what I've got right now. Plus I just want to start cooking again and feel healthy, eat proper nutritious meals. I need to be more proactive in that if I can feel a migraine coming on in the morning/afternoon, I need to get a premade meal out the freezer so I don't have to worry about cooking, but can still eat properly. I've been for a walk this evening, and I want to do either a really easy walk or easy yoga every day unless I am really ill. I've found I can't sleep beyond 7am because the blinds in my bedroom aren't very good, and it's bright sunshine in my room of a morning. So, I need to get up at 7am everyday, which means going to sleep at 11pm. If I can get my sleep pattern sorted hopefully I can build a routine for myself that will get me through my funemployment.

I had a good day yesterday all things considered - it was my mum's 60th, which is an amazing age considering the life-threatening illnesses she's had over the past 15 years. I hosted my family (her, my two brothers and my nephew) on the roof terrace in my building, and we had a really nice socially distanced evening. I decorated the outside space with balloons and banners, I'd got in some booze, pizza and snacks (I have a bday fund which covered this), and once my nephew went home and the cocktails came out (for them, not me!) it got really silly and really funny. We also had a huge heart to heart about something that's happened in my brother's life recently. It was one of those evenings where we all came together and just supported each other. I haven't seen my youngest brother since before lockdown as he was at his dad's so it was good to see him. The cats are always weirded out when people are round, cat2 especially, so when my family left at midnight cat2 decided he needed to let off some steam and went on a rampage for a couple of hours (that's not even exagerating lol).

I have dinner on the hob at the moment, a healthy butter bean stew which should make 3 portions easily. I have so much veg and meat in the freezer that I really need to make use of it. Plus I've got pasta coming out of my ears I've got an osteopath appointment tomorrow which is sorely needed (with precautions of course). I still need to take things easy and not try and do everything on a day I feel ok, but I feel a bit more positive and I think doing some exercise and eating hearty meals will help with that anyway.

Please feel free to tell me off for all the takeaways

StartingAgainAt29

Hi everyone, it's me again!

Feeling good so I thought I'd check in. I went to bed fairly on time last night, so when I got up at 7am it wasn't *too* much of a shock. Didn't get going as quick as I thought, but that's ok. I got some housework done, and managed to work on my writing a bit. I then went to the osteopath for the first time in months, she thinks a lot of my issues (mainly migraines) have to do with my pelvis throwing off my back, and my upper back being so tight that the muscles in my neck are pulling on the back of my head. She did a lot of massaging, some manipulation although my back wasn't playing ball lol. I walked out of there feeling better, knowing I'll be able to get back on track now. I always underestimate how much those sessions help me until I go back and she reminds me that we have to look at the body holistically and if one thing is thrown off, it affects everything. I'm sure I'll be sore over the next few days as it's the first time in a long time that my back has been opened, especially as I've not been exercising the past few weeks.

My mum drove me which was nice, and then we got a cheeky mcflurry on the way home completely not healthy but was delicious. The queue for the drive thru wasn't as bas as we thought considering it was lunch time.

I've managed to write and send the email to my friend's work (I got her to approve the wording) so we'll see if they have anything now or in the future that might be suitable. Even if it was just a few weeks I'd be grateful, it would be good experience to have on my CV.

I've just got back from a walk with my zombie app, it felt really close out there and then it started raining, managed to avoid the worst of the downpour.

Although I finished one assignment from my writing course today (I was 4 weeks behind!) I wanted to do 2 ideally. I might try and do a little more work after dinner, and then I've got tomorrow to do the final two assignments before the deadline of 6pm. I'm sure my tutor would give me more time but I want to get it done and get her feedback, I've always got the materials to go through in the future anyway. Just a shame about the timing of it all.

I've got the second helping of butterbean stew for dinner tonight, I'm actually really hungry so I'm going to eat that now. Have a good evening everyone!

astrocytic_kitten

Glad things are looking up - be really gentle with yourself and try not to do too much, building up slowly is the way to go. I know you know this, just reinforcing it! 

I used to need monthly appointments to release the muscles in my upper back and neck otherwise I got excruciating headaches, glad you’ve got someone to help with that. It’s crazy that something as simple as tight muscles can cause such debilitating pain. I find yin/restorative/Nidra yoga to be really helpful with it (I tend to hold all my stress in my shoulders in addition to a few other issues that cause the imbalance). I was pretty dubious after the first class as it felt like i wasn’t doing much, but it has really great benefits for me. I’m doing a LOT of restorative yoga at the moment.

I did not get toblerone sadly, because I’m also trying to not spend any more on groceries this month, or at least until payday. You’re definitely doing better than me on the healthy meals front while using up stores - pasta and pesto is becoming my signature dish 😂

StartingAgainAt29

Hi @astrocytic_kitten, I always need reminders to take it slowly! I can virtually share some toblerone with you if you like Pesto and pasta is delicious though! I did some restorative yoga tonight actually, partly because it was raining outside but it felt really good to do some again, even if it's only 20 minutes. It can feel like nothing but it's really so beneficial.

So I'm feeling happy as I submitted my writing assignments and got some good feedback doing this course reminded me how bloody scary it is showing other people your work, especially people who do it for a living. But it has reignited my fire for it, and even though it's hard work I always feel amazing when I read a piece back and think, "yes I wrote that!".

I managed to get pretty much everything on my list done for today, so I'm feeling fairly smug. Tomorrow though I have the task I've been dreading for weeks - finally sorting out !!!!!! I'm doing with my holiday and flights. The flights is the top priority, as the internal Peruvian flights need to be cancelled. From there I've got the actual holiday part to sort out. Everyone around me has the opinion that I should fight for a refund, but I do want to do the holiday next year, and from my research even if they go bankrupt between now and my holiday I would still get the money back. My feeling is if everyone fights for a refund, which of course is their right, it may mean these companies go bust, and the company I booked with do a lot of work with the local communities in these areas. I'm pretty sure what I want to do I'm just a bit sick of defending it.

Dinner tonight was salmon from the freezer, cous cous and green beans also from the freezer. I need to go to a shop tomorrow as I'm out of bin bags and the litter tray needs doing tomorrow trying to decide whether to walk to my local Aldi or take the easy (but more expensive) option and go to Sainsburys up the road. Will see how I feel tomorrow I suppose! My mum has saved me some money by dropping over a back stretcher she already has, which hopefully should help with my back/neck/head issues.

Have a good evening