The hardest challenge yet

Jellytotts

elantan wrote: »

it is utterly staggering i agree, its not something i am proud of, incidentally its mainly Oh that does the cooking not me, we however are a team.

so last night was a chicken with bacon and mozzarella cheese inside meal with some sweet potatoes chillies and kale, the night before was steak night before that spicy mince with pasta and veg, before that mince and tatties with veg, tonight it is chicken tikka masala home made ... tomorrow haggis bonbons for me, fajita wraps for Oh,

So on their own, not excessively expensive meals but then it depends on meat quality and portion size.

We are a couple in mid 40s with a very limited income and our grocery budget is £50 per week (including all cleaning/toiletries and pet food). I can't spend more as there simply isn't more. We used to love meals like you've described but now they're very special occasion meals rather than everyday foods.

If I cook fajitas then it's 2 frozen chicken breasts, 2 onions and a mixed pack of 3 peppers, a few herbs and spices and served with rice (we don't eat wheat) , the leftovers get mixed with gluten free pasta, a tin of tomatoes with a sprinkle of cheese and baked.

Prices - 1/3 bag of chicken at £3.50 - £1.20
Peppers 99p
Onions 10p
Herbs spices oil 10p
Rice (plain white cheap rice cooked with a stock cube) 15p
Half bag of gluten free pasta 60p
Cheese for top of pasta 50p
Tin of tomatoes 33p

Total £3.97 for 2 main meals the first night, 2 pasta bakes the next night and there's enough pasta bake left for lunch the left day.

Steak, we don't eat at home.

Mince, £1.58 for a pack of mince that made into a chilli/bolognaise/cottage pie etc has to make 6 portions, so we add grated veg, tinned beans, lentils etc.

Curry, we tend to only use left over roast meats for a curry, herbs and spices from the cupboard, any fruit that needs using up or a spoonful of marmalade/apple jam for a bit of sweetness. We don't add cream as it doesn't need it. We don't buy jarred sauces and neither of us like coconut milk so we don't go exotic.

We eat a lot of filling, tasty, simple dishes that don't cost the earth, don't rely on multiple ingredients and if possible, we use the cook once eat twice principle.

Our staples are jacket spuds (I scoop out the potatoes when cooked, mash with cheese and butter, any left over bacon bits, onion, etc and then restuff. They can then be reheated as required with a bit more cheese if required (I always cook an whole bag of spuds at a time for this as they freeze well). Depending on spud size then it might only be half a spud each with beans, chilli or curry or served with a soup or a whole one each with salad,

Egg and chips, Always with baked beans, simple, cheap and hits the spot.

Sausages - we buy decent GF ones from Lidl, 6 in a pack so 2 each for a meal with some homemade wedges/mash and lots of veg, the left over 2 form part of lunch the next day (chopped in an omelette, sliced on a salad etc).

Vegetable chilli, everything and anything with a few tins of cooked beans, plonked in the slowcooker with herbs and spices and left to fester until ready. Great with couscous.

Risotto, any meat pickings, bits and bobs of veg and some homemade stock, 300gms of rice does us 4 main portions and 2 smaller lunch time portions.


We grow a lot of our own veg and I make sauces up using tomatoes, courgettes, leeks, kale, all whizzed up together gives an amazing base for mince dishes and nice on a pizza base too.

When your OH is cooking does he follow recipes or just chuck it in? If it's the former, he needs to adapt to cheaper ingredients if it's the latter then he needs to check portion size.

It's great that you have the money to spend on this sort of lifestyle now, but is it achievable or desirable in retirement?

I do wish you luck, it's hard enough changing your own mindset but really hard when your partner just digs their heals in.

elantan

Yesterday a friend came to visit, she brought cakes we had a coffee and put the world to rights, as she was leaving she saw my big wall chart with the shopping and stuff written on and asked what it was, she was quite literally gobsmacked with the amount we spend I explained what the plan was and she suggested that at the end of every week any money not used should be transferred to another account, I'm taking that on board but instead of weekly I will do it monthly.

Today I am meeting up with a friend to go walking around a nature park about an hours drive from where I live taking soup with me but no doubt we will stop for a coffee somewhere, tomorrow we have a day of kayaking so it will be soup and coffee innthe flasks with salad and trail mix and probably some fruit for energy on the water, all of these things are bought and paid for so no spends there.

visited "friends" last night, you k now the friends your husband had when he was just a boy of 10 so over 40 years ago, the ones who for some reason unknown to anyone else you keep around, but you dont see them often as you dont particularly like them but you remember something from a long time ago that makes you feel responsible, obligated etc... We havnt seen these "friends" for well over two years. Oh my talk about toxic, anyway toxicity aside the wife as usual starts to become judgey on how we lead all our aspects of life and goes to her usual fall back on how she can do a months shop for 4 plus dog for very little and states I need to go shopping with her... i dont think i could handle the stress and reckon i could land up in jail for murder .

As I sat listening to my lecture I got to thinking how this couple who were given a huge lift on life that basically gave them the opportunity to be mortgage free, but they chose instead not to be mortgage free but to go on a few fancy holidays buy a car and spend like crazy for a few years, so I got to asking " last time we caught up you were saying about your mortgage hows that going now did you manage to reduce your term" not only had they not reduced their term but they added more onto their mortgage they are now sitting with a mortgage of over £145k from a chance of being mortgage free to owing over £145k that's some feat. They now have a hot tub and a time share.

so peeling more of the onion this gets me to thinking how we are all different, how some people can see one thing as something that needs to be worked on and others think nah that's fine and other people would look at that and go no, no I think I will work on that and leave the other to the side. It's an individual journey, so where does that leave OH and me?

Weve kinda done the big tickets, the mortgage is gone, we do have a loan for the roof and we do have a 0% credit card but they are easily affordable, so we have to move our concentration to the minute, we concentrated on the big buck savings, I got pleasure watching our daily interest in the mortgage go down, I set myself challenges to reduce it to x amount by such and such a time.

Now the focus is to sort the smaller ( still big enough) sums of money, the chance to tweak stuff, to get on top of it all, it's a journey of discovery, about yourself, about behaviours about making sense in the world.

So whilst it was a toxic night ( I needed a mind scrape by the time I was done) it was an learning experience and one that will stay with me for all the right ( and wrong) reasons.

lessonlearned

Interesting post Elan. You are right it's all very much a learning curve and a journey of discovery.

I'm currently reading a book called "Nice Girls Don't Get Rich" and it talks about this very thing. It looks at the gender differences in how we deal with money, and it is very revealing about emotional spending. I have had one or two aha moments whilst reading it.

I know I spent a lot of money when my husband died. Not always wisely. Apparently it's very common for the bereaved to go into spending mode. You don't really need to be a psychologist to understand why.

Some of the financial decisions I made after my husband's death weren't perhaps the wisest, but hey, that's done. There's no pint crying over spilt milk.

I am now doing much better at managing my money, the emotional spending has stopped.

I think the food budget is actually one that often has the most scope to play with and that substantial savings can be made, simply by changing our attitudes and being a bit more mindful. I think it is all about focus.

Like a lot of people this month for me is about living from the freezer and store cupboards to free up extra cash. Just using up,what I have and topping up with milk and fresh produce where necessary. I've got the cars MOT due so I'm hoping I can pay for that and any work needing to be done with the money I save on the housekeeping budget. .

Anyway you have done really well on paying off your mortgage, that's a great achievement. Just make a plan now on how to reduce your grocery bill and general spending and stick to it. You've done the hard bit.

elantan

Thanks Lesson , it's funny how it's all connected, it's not a stand alone subject by any means... an interesting journey of discovery as well as practical solutions and ideas, might try and look that book up.

Went out for my mate date today, was fantastic, today we didnt put the world to rights,l we sorted it yesterday remember ? Today we looked forward and planned, the friend I met up with today has underwent some huge changes in her life innthe past few years and she is such a strong woman dealing with all these changes, we are quite a like in many ways we look for solutions and work towards them both of us active in various ways with different parts of our lives.

Today was a money discussing day, so I talked about my food bill, her food bill and eating is very similar, we both bonded over the love of good quality produce and can appreciate paying good money for food, where we differ highly is the takeaways, like has been suggested here she eats out rarely and when she does she has high quality food, doesn't think twice about paying for it as she doesn't do it that often, she has maybe one takeaway a month, compare that to ours and its horrifically different. Her full bill is much less than ours, it's where I wouldnt mind mine being, so this tells me it's possible.

She does feel her bill is to high but she isnt willing to compromise on quality just to save a wee bit and I tend to agree with her on that score. .. I felt her bill was fine, but then everyone's bill is compared to mine, we didnt have a coffee as were both counting pennies so the only spend was diesel and time ... Time with a good friend is something you can never put a price on

elantan

£3 spends on two mozzarella this evening for Mr El' fajita wraps ... was £1.75 each was tempted to just get the one , but we tend to go through quite a bit so thought I may as well get 2.

Jellytotts

Whilst I fully appreciate the want for better quality food, at the end of the day it's just fuel, enjoyable fuel if done right, but it doesn't have to be crippingly expensive fuel.

The downshift challenge is worth looking at. Where you can, try shifting down a brand level until you find a brand you're comfortable with. That's a really easy change to make that will save a lot of money with little, if any, difference in taste/quality.

It's also worth questioning your want to change the food/entertainment budget if you're actually happy with what and how much you're eating. Just because you could save money in this area doesn't mean you have to if you're adamant this is the best way of eating.

From a personal point of view, you're eating special foods every day rather than everyday foods with the odd special treat.

We don't eat out or eat take always due to dietary requirements as well as budget but we do enjoy the odd special meal which is made more special by its rarity.

Would I change our menu if I could afford to? Yes, of course, I'd love to be more welfare aware with my choices but it is still just fuel at the end of the day.

lessonlearned

I'm the same as your friend Elan.....Because I don't eat out every single week I am quite prepared to pay for high quality restaurant meals. I have a couple of favourite restaurants and although some people might think they are a bit pricey I think that what they offer is value for money. High quality food, nice ambience and great staff. Nothing is too much trouble.

I just don't do takeaways these days. The last time was the day I moved house over 15 months ago.

Tonight I was feeling tired and wanted something quick and easy. I did a mushroom risotto using tinned spelt instead of rice. Can't digest rice. First time I have tried spelt, it's delicious, has a nice "nutty" flavour that really complements chestnut mushrooms. It's a very healthy grain too, high in protein and easier to digest than wheat or rice.

It's simplicity itself. Soften some red onion, then Saut! with the mushrooms in a generous dollop of butter, with garlic, a slug of wine and some fresh basil. Add some Parmesan if you have some. I didn't have any so did without.

It was delicious and took around 5 minutes. And very cheap too. For two people, I would suggest two tins of spelt. I would estimate about 60p a portion.

Far quicker than waiting for a takeaway, a fraction of the price and so much healthier.

I am a committed omnivore and would never voluntarily eat vegetarian all the time but I am quite happy to eat a vegetarian meal every so often. I too am trying to economise on my food bill so I'm going to try and eat a couple of vegetarian meals a week and see if that helps.

elantan

Jellytotts wrote: »

Whilst I fully appreciate the want for better quality food, at the end of the day it's just fuel, enjoyable fuel if done right, but it doesn't have to be crippingly expensive fuel.

The downshift challenge is worth looking at. Where you can, try shifting down a brand level until you find a brand you're comfortable with. That's a really easy change to make that will save a lot of money with little, if any, difference in taste/quality.

It's also worth questioning your want to change the food/entertainment budget if you're actually happy with what and how much you're eating. Just because you could save money in this area doesn't mean you have to if you're adamant this is the best way of eating.

From a personal point of view, you're eating special foods every day rather than everyday foods with the odd special treat.

We don't eat out or eat take always due to dietary requirements as well as budget but we do enjoy the odd special meal which is made more special by its rarity.

Would I change our menu if I could afford to? Yes, of course, I'd love to be more welfare aware with my choices but it is still just fuel at the end of the day.

Hey Jellytots, food certainly is fuel, but i like to put good fuel in my body most of the time, with the far too many trips to the junk isle, we are what we eat at the end of the day and there is no two ways about it eating crap makes you feel crap.

I did the down shift challenge many years ago and whilst there is a small place for it in my changes it isnt a big one, I rarely buy tins or jars for food, most of the tinned produce i buy is tomatoes. i do happily use the cheaper ones but if napolina comes on sale i will stock up on them as i prefer them, but if i need tinned tomatoes an no napolina is on sale i buy cheaper, tomato paste is usually own branded. I'm trying to think of other tins and jars i buy as a norm, looked in my cupboard and there are tomatoes and two pot noodles for OH ( for snacking) the rest is coconut aminos, salt ( 5 of us bought 25k of himalyan salt and divided it up as it was so so so much cheaper) coconut oil ( on special) noodles ( asian supermarket) olives ( 1 jar) lasagne sheets ( bought on special) and that is it for my tin cupboard ( as you can see i had to alter it from being my tin cupboard) put it this way you would struggle to get a meal out of it from only those ingredients.

I do buy my coffee jars when it is on sale but wont buy the cheap nasty coffee, we use instant through the week and good coffee at the weekend. If i ever get to a point where there isnt a decent coffee jar on sale and i run out ( very very rare thing to happen) i just drink the real stuff till then, thats no hard chore.

Butter i buy the deals, occasionally make my own, but tend to buy it from Costco as it works out a wee bit cheaper. Toilet roll i buy in bulk at a cheap price, i dont buy andrex usually Nicky green ( although that has went up in price over the last year or so)

i also tend to buy fresh. not always organic but if its cheaper or i have spare money then organic, so i will buy the ingredients and make the sauces i want a fajita sauce or chilli sauce etc.

The take away budget has to change, it has to change for our health more than anyting, eating out as often as we do is not doing our health any good, we eat great when home cooked but if we cant be bothered or are too tired or ran about too much after parents etc we go for the quick easy fix. That has to change that is not sustainable, I am coming around to the idea of having special meals out occasionally, the issue i will have is getting hubby to agree as he would happily live off of takeaway food. The price of alcohol is something we are experimenting with, we are slowly bringing down the price of a bottle of wine till we reach a level we are satisfied with, that is ongoing.

I'm struggling to understand what you mean by we are eating special foods every day rather than every day foods with a special treat, can you expand on that ?

elantan

lessonlearned wrote: »

I'm the same as your friend Elan.....Because I don't eat out every single week I am quite prepared to pay for high quality restaurant meals. I have a couple of favourite restaurants and although some people might think they are a bit pricey I think that what they offer is value for money. High quality food, nice ambience and great staff. Nothing is too much trouble.

I just don't do takeaways these days. The last time was the day I moved house over 15 months ago.

Tonight I was feeling tired and wanted something quick and easy. I did a mushroom risotto using tinned spelt instead of rice. Can't digest rice. First time I have tried spelt, it's delicious, has a nice "nutty" flavour that really complements chestnut mushrooms. It's a very healthy grain too, high in protein and easier to digest than wheat or rice.

It's simplicity itself. Soften some red onion, then Saut! with the mushrooms in a generous dollop of butter, with garlic, a slug of wine and some fresh basil. Add some Parmesan if you have some. I didn't have any so did without.

It was delicious and took around 5 minutes. And very cheap too. For two people, I would suggest two tins of spelt. I would estimate about 60p a portion.

Far quicker than waiting for a takeaway, a fraction of the price and so much healthier.

I am a committed omnivore and would never voluntarily eat vegetarian all the time but I am quite happy to eat a vegetarian meal every so often. I too am trying to economise on my food bill so I'm going to try and eat a couple of vegetarian meals a week and see if that helps.

I remember you saying this before and as my friend said it i could hear your voice in my head ( well what i imagine your voice sounds like lol) I am liking this idea and think that is the way forward for me as well, the problem i will have is getting hubby to agree. I deff need to work on the take away issue.

Tinned spelt .. tell me more, i didnt know such a thing existed, where would i buy it? the meal sounds very tasty and something we would eat so will give it a try ... if i can find tinned spelt.

I have made risotto before and hubby did like it, it took a while as i made it according to an Italian colleagues recipe and did it step by step so took my time and it was tasty.

Like you I am an omnivore and like a bit of meat, I do also like vegetarian meals so can happily swap between the two, hubby is not a huge vegetarian fan but is willing to " suffer" for me. I was thinking of having my Iranian dish with aubergines this week, it requires 8 aubergines though and at 70p ( last time i checked) per aubergine i was a bit hesitant when i went shopping, will buy them though and make it i think.

elantan

Today is the day before i go back to work, I feel as if i dont have enough organised even though i have saved a few grab and go meals, the fridge is full but there is nothing jumping out at me, tonights dinner is the remainder of the fajitas, lunch is home made indian, for Oh and lettuce wraps for me, Soup is all ready for work salad and fruit all bought, so I should be ok, but I am concerned and i dont know why. I'm sure i will figure it out