The hardest challenge yet

lessonlearned

Ah bless you Elan, of course you love you husband. We get it.

I adored my Late husband and I miss him every day but I am under no illusions - there were times when he could be a right pita. I used to joke that I would never divorce him......murder maybe:rotfl:

Do you think your husband is comfort eating.......stress, work/family issues perhaps. Or is he just bored of an evening. I ask because I am a devil for the "evening munchies". I don't know why but I often feel quite ravenous in the evening, even if I've eaten a really great dinner.

I have always been like this, even when my husband was alive, so it isn't sadness, stress or boredom. It's just my body. So now I try to prepare ahead by ensuring I have plenty of healthy not too calorific snacks to hand.

elantan

Hey Lesson,

I really dont know tbh, I was wondering if it was maybe because all weve done for the last wee while is eat sleep and have a wee drink ( hubby drank more) and maybe he was craving the junk food ?

i dont know i really dont and when i asked him neither does he, hopefully it's just a blip

eamon

whitesatin wrote: »

I'd love to do a spreadsheet for my finances (sounds better than it is, lol) but I don't know where to start. I know about, but can't manage, excel etc. but I wonder is there any way to do a spreadsheet without a computer? At the moment, I use a notebook where I put my income and outgoings but I generally give up each month after a few days as it doesn't really show where my money is going. Old fashioned, I know, but wonder if anyone knows of a type of notebook where a more detailed account could be shown.

A computer based spreadsheet allows the user (i.e. you) to easily manipulate data. But if you have never used one before then thats also ok as any paper note book/pad that is lined will do. Just means a little more desk/table work than you may have done for many years and that can be a useful exercise in itself.

eamon

elantan wrote: »

And last night what did he do? why go and have a chinese takeaway ofcourse, and this was after we had steak with carrots brussels and roast tatties for dinner, ggggrrrrrrrrr.

You are far from alone in this and its a really tough pattern to break. I'm sure other posters have suggested smaller plates et al. I suspect that many people (and I include myself) that eat fast food and this is primarily aimed at takeaways have lost the distinction between quality & quantity. I'm partial to fish and chips and as tomorrow is Friday. But at every chippy that I use even a small portion of chips is huge and routinely I bin a lot of chips. Serving/portion size needs to be addressed, salt was the wrong item to aim at imho.

Siebrie

elantan wrote: »

I love my husband i really do... but he is driving me nuts.
We both agreed to the budget and both agreed we need to get on top of things and both agreed we need to lose weight ( we are both very overweight).

And last night what did he do? why go and have a chinese takeaway ofcourse, and this was after we had steak with carrots brussels and roast tatties for dinner, ggggrrrrrrrrr.

I'm from mainland European and have a question: at what time is your dinner? Is that noon or 6pm?

For me, the best answer to late-night munchies is to go to bed before they hit I have had this explained to me as: your body needs energy, and it will take it either from rest (sleep) or food (snacks).

dreaming

elantan wrote: »

Hey Lesson,

I really dont know tbh, I was wondering if it was maybe because all weve done for the last wee while is eat sleep and have a wee drink ( hubby drank more) and maybe he was craving the junk food ?

i dont know i really dont and when i asked him neither dies he, hopefully it's just a blip

I wish I undertood why I can sit there in an evening, after a lovely meal, and mindlessly eat half a tube of Pringles, or really feel I want biscuits with my last cup of tea. I call it "mouth hunger" as it isn't that I'm really hungry but have identified that ofen it is the texture of things I like. I do tend to go more for things like crisps or biscuits rather than chocolate or softer foods but trying to substitute celery to munch on didn't work so I do think there is an element of rebellion in my eating things that aren't that good for me. We are such complex beings aren't we?

Jellytotts

The amount spent on food/takeaways etc is staggering. Maybe run us through a typical weeks meals and I'm sure we could come up with some alternatives.

I shop once a week, if it's not purchased then, then we go without. If your OH wants a take away after a full meal then it's stress eating, he's associated the carp food with comfort.

I can understand spending a bit more on a decent cut of meat or organic if that's your thing, but to then go and eat dodgy take away food full of all kinds of stuff seems like utter madness.

I'm afraid if it were my husband and he couldn't act like an adult then I'd not cook or provide for him and let him do his own thing.

elantan

eamon wrote: »

You are far from alone in this and its a really tough pattern to break. I'm sure other posters have suggested smaller plates et al. I suspect that many people (and I include myself) that eat fast food and this is primarily aimed at takeaways have lost the distinction between quality & quantity. I'm partial to fish and chips and as tomorrow is Friday. But at every chippy that I use even a small portion of chips is huge and routinely I bin a lot of chips. Serving/portion size needs to be addressed, salt was the wrong item to aim at imho.

I think this does have a lot to do with it, he has a chinese and it is a big plate, where as the steak with veg whilst healthier was smaller portioned ( still bigger than we should have had) so after wards he was just hungry, he was better last night and just had cheese on toast so that was hopefully a start of breaking long standing behaviour patterns

Siebrie wrote: »

I'm from mainland European and have a question: at what time is your dinner? Is that noon or 6pm?

For me, the best answer to late-night munchies is to go to bed before they hit I have had this explained to me as: your body needs energy, and it will take it either from rest (sleep) or food (snacks).

we have our dinner roughly 6pm afternoon time 12ish would be lunch, i imagine different parts of the UK will have different names, going to bed at 8pm is a tad early but deff we need to find something to distract us

dreaming wrote: »

I wish I undertood why I can sit there in an evening, after a lovely meal, and mindlessly eat half a tube of Pringles, or really feel I want biscuits with my last cup of tea. I call it "mouth hunger" as it isn't that I'm really hungry but have identified that ofen it is the texture of things I like. I do tend to go more for things like crisps or biscuits rather than chocolate or softer foods but trying to substitute celery to munch on didn't work so I do think there is an element of rebellion in my eating things that aren't that good for me. We are such complex beings aren't we?

we are and its interesting how you put it mouth hunger, i kinda get that often, especially with things like skips or wotsits... i melt them in my mouth and will do so whilst i am full up and keep shovelling them in and melting them, so its deff a mouth hunger type behaviour that nothing else works ... and celery i dont mind it but only a wee bit like you i would feel very unsatisfied. I like mouth hunger

elantan

Jellytotts wrote: »

The amount spent on food/takeaways etc is staggering. Maybe run us through a typical weeks meals and I'm sure we could come up with some alternatives.

I shop once a week, if it's not purchased then, then we go without. If your OH wants a take away after a full meal then it's stress eating, he's associated the carp food with comfort.

I can understand spending a bit more on a decent cut of meat or organic if that's your thing, but to then go and eat dodgy take away food full of all kinds of stuff seems like utter madness.

I'm afraid if it were my husband and he couldn't act like an adult then I'd not cook or provide for him and let him do his own thing.

it is utterly staggering i agree, its not something i am proud of, incidentally its mainly Oh that does the cooking not me, we however are a team.

so last night was a chicken with bacon and mozzarella cheese inside meal with some sweet potatoes chillies and kale, the night before was steak night before that spicy mince with pasta and veg, before that mince and tatties with veg, tonight it is chicken tikka masala home made ... tomorrow haggis bonbons for me, fajita wraps for Oh,

elantan

Peeling back the onion... a kinda metaphor

So today i finally got out of my pyjamas and went to the shop, we took the money that we have for the week and did a small shop from a shopping list.

I re discovered things that i had forgotten about myself and OH did as well. We also realised new wee bits about ourselves

Using money focuses the mind it makes you question whether you have enough money and should you buy x,y or z ... what would happen if we got to the checkout and we didnt have enough? it was quite a stressful time actually and most deffinatley not an enjoyable experience, this is something people live with every day and we are greatful that ultimately we can afford not worry too much, but it was a nervous time waiting to be served, and the first words i uttered to the checkout assistant ( i refuse to use the self scan) were using cash today so lets hope we have enough, now i took £65 in with me ( used £5 in the pharmacist) it came to £35 so we deffinatley had enough, but the stress was quite bad for both of us, we also recognised we dont watch what we buy and add it up, we just put things in the trolley and didnt think about how much it cost. I dont even know how much milk is, I could be a politician !!!!!! ( well no I couldn't as I would soon be in trouble) but by that I mean, you often see politicians being accused of not being in touch with people, they are asked the price of a pint of milk or loaf of bread and when they cant give the correct answer they are accused of not being in touch with real people. I like to think I'm real people but i still couldnt tell you how much a pint of milk or loaf of bread costs.

we recognised it was stressful and hubby came straight back and said right i'm gonna apply for that works card.

Hi employer offers a discount card for certain businesses we would top the card up to £100 at a cost of £95 so £5 free, i liked the way that he recognised an issue and whilst didnt solve the issue of no stress he did find a way to increase our money which will help reduce the risk of not having enough.

Number written up on the board food put by where it should be and we move forward and learn