The Growth of Toxic Workplaces

[Deleted User]

martinthebandit wrote: »

Some of this thread appears to suggest it's more a case of toxic employees........

In this case it would mean toxic management, allowing that toxic behaviour - rather than nipping it in the bud asap.

[Deleted User]

motorguy wrote: »

The crux of it is - if you're not happy in your workplace - leave. Find another job and people who are going to treat you better / promote you / allow you to do what you want, etc, etc.

i understand that - I was just asking the question.

Blatchford

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

read the reply I just wrote and then think again...she let them know in good time why she wouldn't be in and they have not disciplined anyone else who has taken far more days off than she has

I don't know what kind of employment experience you have. Maybe you haven't ever had a job? But it is not up to employees to tell their employer when it's convenient for them to turn up. You don't "let the employer know you won't be in" whether in "good time" or not. And what other people may or may not have done is irrelevant - you are not privy to their details. Perhaps they were more polite and didn't just let the boss know they wouldn't be turning up to work? But here's a big hint. When you have employment, the employer very unreasonably expects you to turn up to work and do your job. That isn't "toxic". That called employment. You don't get to tell them when it's convenient to turn up, or when you get time off. You are responsible for your child's situation because you refused to provide her with evidence to support her request for time off.

Ps. I'm sorry but I missed the deleted post in my responses. I can totally see now why your daughter thinks she's entitled. It's an inherited trait. The employer didn't refuse anything. You refused to provide evidence to support her request. So from the employers point of view, it could all have been a lie. There's no right for time off to look after siblings. Maybe they'd have said yes. If you'd been reasonable and given them reason to. Instead you thought it was a right. It wasn't.

Toomuchdebt

I haven't deleted any post here-perhaps someone reported it and that's why it's gone-I don't know why it's not showing up but it's been quoted anyway so it's there for you to see. If I was going to delete posts I would delete them all.
Yes I have had jobs-sadly my health hasn't allowed me to work since 2015.
The other people would often just not turn up after the shift had started ( I was actually at the cafe on 2 occasions when this happened)
You are entitled to whatever opinion you like. The procedure is that in a family emergency she is allowed to take time off and no evidence has to be provided. Obviously if she was doing it often it would be reasonable to be doubtful. I really don't understand why you're attacking me. I don't have any evidence to provide and I think it's reasonable for me to not want her manager to have details of my health right down to medication I am taking.
As I stated earlier she has done more extra hours in this job than contracted hours for the past 6 months, and has covered sickness every single week for other employees. She has not taken any time off for herself whatsoever for her own sickness except when she actually threw up at work and was told to go home as it's a cafe. Perhaps you think she should have left an 11 year old and a 9 year old at home alone until 1am...and before you ask-their dad died last year so no she couldn't ask him to help out.
You seem to have taken a real dislike to me without knowing a single thing about me purely because I don't want to tell a perfect stranger my medical problems and what tablets I am taking.
In any case this will be my last post for some time as I certainly don't need to be stressed out by people's opinions.

edited to add it was removed by the forum team because apparently attacking me is fine but me calling someone a stupid idiot is not fine.

LilElvis

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

read the reply I just wrote and then think again...she let them know in good time why she wouldn't be in and they have not disciplined anyone else who has taken far more days off than she has

Perhaps your daughter's co-workers provided their employer with proof as to the reason for their absence - something which you are obviously determined not to provide, though it could be easily redacted. As has already been explained she had no entitlement to unauthorised absence and unless she is prepared to cooperate with their reasonable requests then disciplinary action is the inevitable outcome. She has no-one but herself, and you, to blame for being in this situation.

Blatchford

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

edited to add it was removed by the forum team because apparently attacking me is fine but me calling someone a stupid idiot is not fine.

I can see how you could become confused. Calling someone a stupid idiot is offensive and abusive. Telling you something you don't want to hear that is true is actually not an attack. Totally different situations.

motorguy

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

read the reply I just wrote and then think again...she let them know in good time why she wouldn't be in and they have not disciplined anyone else who has taken far more days off than she has

I think its you who needs to think again - "demanded that she provide proof of my illness.I refused because quite frankly my health is none of their business and I checked online and by law she doesn't have to provide any kind of proof."

You could simply have provided the info required, supporting your daughter in her job. An the latter half of your statement is your interpretation, not law.

motorguy

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Adding that the only thing I could provide is my hospital discharge letter which has WAY too much personal information on it. A sick note if I could get one is one thing-a letter with a lot of personal info on including all the medications I take and treatment I was given is a bit much don't you think?Or would you be happy for everyone to know these things about you when it's not even your employment ...

Also thanks for assuming I'm a crappy parent and not supportive. I rarely post here on this forum and certainly won't be posting again for any reason.

Where did i say you were a crappy parent? Perhaps - like you're chosing to misinterpret what i actually said and have a flounce about it - you've misinterpreted the company following due process as "demands"?

motorguy

[Deleted User] wrote:

i understand that - I was just asking the question.

That wasnt pointed at you - it was a general statement, which i apply to myself also. If i'm not happy somewhere for whatever reason, i leave.

motorguy

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

She wasn't spending time with me you stupid idiot. She went with me to the hospital until the children finished school (before her shift started!!)and then was looking after my younger children who are 11 and 9 and can't be left alone -work actually had the audacity to suggest she bring them to work until 1am and then walk home for 45 minutes!!They asked for a sick note from ME. I was in hospital for one night. There is no sick note. I don't work. Even if I did how would I get a SICK NOTE after just 1 night?? She is just as angry as I am. How dare you cast doubt on my parenting??? I have written a letter to the employer but I absolutely will not give them personal information about my illness and health as I don't feel I should be having to give them information like this. She has been working 80 hours a week there and covering for everyone else's sicknesses-coming in at 8am and not leaving until they close at 1am. She has come in for 2 hours at 11pm because the MANAGER doesn't know how to do the close routine. She has been on call for the evening staff who have been left to close the cafe without proper training. She has been doing the rotas and ordering because the manager didn't know how and told her he was too busy to learn how.She has gone above and beyond for them and then when she takes one day off(and lets them know before her shift as she wasn't due to start until the afternoon on that day and it happened in the morning). She has gone above and beyond for this company and quite frankly is disgusted and has been looking for another job anyway so if she gets sacked she doesn't really care. And you think I'm the toxic one?? Try again sunshine...you know nothing about me or my daughter.

Wow. Brilliant. I think thats all very insightful.

As has been said - a cafe has a small pool of resources to work from. Your daughter not being there probably caused them a lot of pain and could have lost them business.

Surely you can see that? Or are they "stupid idiots" too?