We can do this

charlotte1988

Sorry to hear about the car troubles.
In regards to the registrar fee's can you speak to them about it, when I got married they allowed me to make part payment slightly later due to other financial emergencies at the time. There may be some flexibility with them.

TravelGirl84

Hi OnlyPariah

Sorry to hear about the extra money you need to find.
Is there any way you are able to start an emergency fund in the near future? Even if it's £5 a month? I'm following a lady on Instagram who has literally started saving £5 a month by cutting out one coffee and she is gradually building it up.

OnlyPariah

Thank you for your replies. Charlotte, we are seeing them on the 8th and will ask if we can make a part payment. Fingers crossed eh?

TravelGirl, I did have an emergency fund, that is being used to pay the registrar but it just isn't enough. Unfortunately I was only adding to the emergency fund since Nov when I had my light bulb moment. My credit card outgoings were higher than my outgoings. I've now sent letters to my creditors to send them token payments so am now trying to sort this without putting more on the cards.

Oh, and in other news my OH dropped her phone yesterday when she chased after DD2 running out of a shop. So we've got to sort that. My OH is beside herself and I keep saying it's only money, we'll sort it but I'm not sure I believe it anymore. She's getting so low and I'm trying to be strong for her but I just want to curl up and cry. Not very manly to say but then I'm quite an emotional person.

TravelGirl84

OnlyPariah wrote: »

Thank you for your replies. Charlotte, we are seeing them on the 8th and will ask if we can make a part payment. Fingers crossed eh?

TravelGirl, I did have an emergency fund, that is being used to pay the registrar but it just isn't enough. Unfortunately I was only adding to the emergency fund since Nov when I had my light bulb moment. My credit card outgoings were higher than my outgoings. I've now sent letters to my creditors to send them token payments so am now trying to sort this without putting more on the cards.

Oh, and in other news my OH dropped her phone yesterday when she chased after DD2 running out of a shop. So we've got to sort that. My OH is beside herself and I keep saying it's only money, we'll sort it but I'm not sure I believe it anymore. She's getting so low and I'm trying to be strong for her but I just want to curl up and cry. Not very manly to say but then I'm quite an emotional person.

Hi!

You are 100% allowed to feel how you feel and I believe you're more of a man if you are able to show your emotions. So feel what you need to. You're going through a tough time so cut yourself a break.

Hopefully once the token payments are sorted you can breathe a little. You will get through it even if you have no choice but to use a tiny bit of credit whilst things get sorted. Not ideal I know. Like Dan on here said to me, you didn't get in this overnight and you won't get out of it overnight either, but you will get sorted.

Keep coming on here, it's a good place to vent and get some support.

OnlyPariah

I realise I also haven't wished everyone reading this a Happy New Year. I think I've just been caught up in everything.

Oh, and one positive. And part of the reason our EF was so low is that we paid for our honeymoon. Just a few days in Edinburgh but we haven't had a holiday since we met four years ago and really want to just have time for us two. Then once we're back from that we can crack on full steam ahead to get out of debt.

OnlyPariah

I'm looking forward to that honeymoon now. What a weekend.

So, we're still without a car but luckily I car share so could get into work this morning. Also remember my OH's phone is broken so we've managed to get a refurbed phone on a contract with cashback. We'll use the cashback to pay off my phone and then I can reduce my phone to a SIM only deal and cancel her current SIM only deal. I suspect we'll be no better or worse off for this.

Then, on Saturday the washing machine died. There was my OH spending Saturday morning hand washing everything.

We're seeing the registrar on Wednesday and I really hope they'll be okay with a part payment because we can't do much more. We don't have enough to eat otherwise.

OnlyPariah

Okay. We have some breathing room. The registrar has allowed us to pay £68 as a deposit to hold the date of our wedding. We still need to pay £38 each on Wednesday for paperwork or some such thing. That's a lot better than being forced to pay the whole £546 right now.

In car news. It seems it's a different injector than failed before. We'll get this second hand as we did before and so hopefully this should be a lot cheaper than the £300 odd we were expecting.

I'm not normally bothered by new years and all that. It's just an arbitrary system of time, after all. But this year really can just do one. I just hope that once we're married we can focus fully on beating this debt and getting any extra work in in order to do this.

OnlyPariah

Got the second hand injector for £40 as opposed to £58 due to my OH's awesome bargaining skills. That should be arriving today and so hopefully we'll have the car back tonight.

I need to call Close Brothers about the car loan. Going to get the date the payment goes out changed. It currently goes out in the middle of the month which is not ideal. Also going to ask if I can have a break for one or two months. Just to give us more breathing room.

Also need to call O2 to get the pak code so we can transfer numbers and close off the old sim card.

db2016

just a note re the injector,

i read about it, but then saw you got one, so my advice is null at present but worth it if ever need another.

sometimes they can be "flow" tested, and this can clean them out or they can be ultrasonic cleaned, this can sometimes make parts last longer rather than replacements. obviously this depends on the part, for £40 you got a good deal, as a cleaning may in itself cost £20, but worth it if £20 is a chance against a part costing 00s of course.

monetxchange

Not trying to chastise as we’ve all been there, but once you’ve got yourself straight after all the unexpected expenses and you can implement your budget again, set yourself some ground rules on what an emergency fund should be used for. Perfect example is the car breaking down - true emergency and wouldn’t have been budgeted for. Things that should have been budgeted for but weren’t, like wedding costs, don’t become an emergency just because there’s no money been saved for them.

I know how hard it is. Hoping you a much steadier 2020 on your debt clearing journey!