Money Moral Dilemma: Should my ex-girlfriend come on the holiday we planned together?

NBLondon

It's probably fictitious/hypothetical but what if it was a surprise and none of the kids know yet?

rumblestiltskin

ah yes, but better be quick because as I understand it, this act will be automatically repealed by the Brexit Act if and when it gets the royal rubber stamp.

chrismale

It says quite clearly that HE paid for the whole trip.

1. He won't be able to sell or reassign the tickets as they will be non refundable. So if she does not come this money will be wasted.

2. He can let her come anyway with a clear understanding of the rules of engagement.

3. If she still wants to come he can ask her if she is prepared (or able) to pay her share.

I can't imagine she would pay him NOT to go on the trip with him.

pickledonionspaceraider

No, you go with your kids and forget about it - you don't owe anyone anything, nor should feel guilty

at the end of the day, you got dumped, it wasn't your choice, none of this was your choice, so let her jog on

crmism

I'm surprised that anyone should want to canvas total strangers on such a deeply personal matter, as a decision such as this has to be yours alone.

Even so, it doesn't sound like you had a deep, meaningful relationship; more a brief encounter, but as you've already paid in advance for the holiday why don't you use it as an opportunity to rekindle your feelings and see where they lead to?

Doubtless, your kids and hers get along with each other, and her kids probably like you too and maybe even still look upon you as a father-figure. Perhaps you could learn a lesson from them and show some generosity and give them an experience they're unlikely to forget.:)

Pollycat

crmism wrote: »

I'm surprised that anyone should want to canvas total strangers on such a deeply personal matter, as a decision such as this has to be yours alone.

I'm always surprised that anyone would want to canvas total strangers on any of these Money Moral 'Dilemmas'.

crmism wrote: »

Even so, it doesn't sound like you had a deep, meaningful relationship; more a brief encounter, but as you've already paid in advance for the holiday why don't you use it as an opportunity to rekindle your feelings and see where they lead to?

A brief encounter?
Lasting 2 years?

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

I paid for a Disney holiday for me, my kids, my girlfriend and her kids - we booked back in January and planned to go away just before Christmas. Now she's split up with me - do I have to let her come on the holiday or should she pay me back? We were together (happily) over two years, and were all looking forward to it.

jimmyjammy001

Depends if she has paid or not, getting a free holiday is not on imo, kids or no kids, that money could have of been spent on your own kids

lindens

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Bit harsh to take a Disney holiday away from kids who are looking forward to it.

Be grown ups for them I say, try to find a way to make it work, you don’t actually have to spend time together, maybe she can pay a bit extra to change hotel rooms if needed?

This scenario happened to a friend and this is what they did.
grit your teeth and think of the kids. it's only a few days

Patjan

It depends how acrimonious your split was. If you parted on reasonable terms and, e.g. no others were the cause, then assess if a "no physical contact" holiday is viable. Talk it over maturely with her, and go for it if appropriate, for the sake of the kids. If she is financially stable, you could mention some kind of contribution, given that apparently she was the one who walked. Otherwise check on your travel insurance to see if that covers your situation.

JayD

First - the dilemma clearly states 'I paid ...' so any references above to 'if she paid' are irrelevant.


So you paid and that money is spent and gone. I see no point in chasing her for 'her' half, regardless. As you are likely to be in a hotel, I am guessing you were going to stay in hotel rooms. That said, I can see no problem in her being in a room with her children and you in a room with yours. However, although it may seem reasonable to suggest she and her children can then go off and do their own thing, it may be that the children all get on together very well and would want to share the experience with each other.


So, I think you should all go and if the children are friends with each other, you both should tolerate being together when in Disneyland and apart in the evenings when the children are in bed. BUT if the children are not in friendly relations with each other, then go off and do your own thing in your own family groups.


Short answer would be:
If she wants to, then she should still go with her children and you suck up the cost you have already laid out (but nothing more).

If she doesn't want to go then you should do your best to either cancel for refunds, or explore the possibility of selling off her tickets.
Either way, I don't think she should be asked to pay - despite the relationship breakdown.