Friend wants me to be Guarantor but I have concerns

snilloct1957

Not one person has said this is a good idea. You have your answer...

Brock_and_Roll

Could you not cut out the middle man and father the baby yourself - a lot cheaper, less painful and no risk of default !!!!

AnotherJoe

Brock_and_Roll wrote: »

Could you not cut out the middle man and father the baby yourself - a lot cheaper, less painful and no risk of default !!!!

Not when 18 years of child support are factored in !

TripleH

Rh205, i think the lack of response from him when you said no tells the full story sadly.

Hopefully this is just a moment of 'love sickness' where he fails to think rationally because his second brain has taken over. When he calms down it may be that he sees this as 'the scam / honeytrap' it looks to be. If he does, he may come back to the fold tail between his legs. He does sound impulsive wanting what he wants without thinking of the consequences.

An alternative view is that you are doing his 'girlfriend' a favour as well. She may see this path as an opportunity to escape an undesirable situation and her desire to start a family could be genuine. As he has demonstrated an impulsive nature, whats to say in 6 years time, he has a child with her but abandons her on her own with a child, no support abd in a strange country the other side of the world from her family.

You deciding to say no is probably going to help multiple people.

rh205

Just a quick update. I met up with him on Saturday and he said that his father in law had said he would be the guarantor. It turns out his girlfriend doesn't know about his procedure and he's having done now because the success rate will be less than 50% in a few months time whereas at the moment it's at 75%.

However today he has asked me again as his father in law was rejected on the grounds of being semi retired. His operation is tomorrow. Whilst I'm sticking to my guns I find it crazy how he has gone and booked it without getting his finances sorted first. But maybe it's just that I've been brought up to only buy what I can afford.

[Deleted User]

You can still help him. Offer to carry out the operation yourself and save him the money.

There's probably a video on Youtube or somewhere you can follow.

Clive_Woody

rh205 wrote: »

Just a quick update. I met up with him on Saturday and he said that his father in law had said he would be the guarantor. It turns out his girlfriend doesn't know about his procedure and he's having done now because the success rate will be less than 50% in a few months time whereas at the moment it's at 75%.

However today he has asked me again as his father in law was rejected on the grounds of being semi retired. His operation is tomorrow. Whilst I'm sticking to my guns I find it crazy how he has gone and booked it without getting his finances sorted first. But maybe it's just that I've been brought up to only buy what I can afford.

Hang on....does his father-in-law know he is having this op to meet up and impregnate a Filipino woman he met online? That is one very understanding FIL.....unless it's his online friend's dad.....:eek:

The success rate will not change in a few months, that is utter BS. The success rate is low post-snip. He was trying to pressure you which only reinforces your decision to say no.

I am surprised they are doing the op without payment up front, I have my suspicions the money is going elsewhere and there is no op, but either way your answer should still be no.

SnowTiger

rh205 wrote: »

I find it crazy how he has gone and booked it without getting his finances sorted first.

My partner is Filipino.

We got married at the UK embassy in Manila. Afterwards I brought them to the UK from the Philippines with a Family Visa. It took over a year, mainly because they had TB which had to be treated in the Philippines. TB is quite common there.

Someone who's scratching around for £2,000 to £3,000 cannot afford to bring someone to the UK from somewhere like the Philippines.

I've been through the process. It's lengthily, expensive and brutal.

Most of the people I know of who have done it have paid a third party over £2,000 simply to process the paperwork for them. Fortunately I had the wherewithal to do that myself.

There are lots of hidden costs.

Last thing on your friend's to do list should be reversing a vasectomy.

Has he met his Filipina in real life? That should be the first thing on his list. No meeting usually automatically means no visa in my experience.

Terry_Towelling

Is this fantasy thread still going?

redpete

rh205 wrote: »

the success rate will be less than 50% in a few months time whereas at the moment it's at 75%.

He's either too dim to realise that this is rubbish or is hoping you re too dim to realise that this is rubbish.