Friend wants me to be Guarantor but I have concerns

rh205

Firstly I’m sorry for the long post but I feel it is important to add context to how the situation regarding being asked to be a guarantor has arisen.

My friend met a Filipino woman online. They’ve been talking online for over a year and met up for the first time for two weeks a couple of months ago. The plan is for her to come to the UK for six months and if it all works out they’ll get married. He has three children with his ex and lives in a rented apartment.

A couple of days ago he asked me to be a guarantor for his medical bill. He promises that he will be able to pay the bill and has said he’ll do extra shifts to pay for it. He is having a reverse vasectomy because he wants to have a child with the Filipino woman because she has no children. The procedure costs about £2775 with monthly payments of £198. He has deposited £400. The procedure isn’t available on the NHS and therefore he has to go private.

He went for a pre-op assessment today and has put down the deposit and is now waiting for my answer as to whether I’ll act as guarantor. I feel like I’m being backed into a corner without being given time to think about it. I’ve only seen him briefly at work as we work different shifts so haven’t had time to meet up to talk about it.

I have several issues with this:

1) He has a track record of never having a lot of money left at the end of each month. He owns expensive bikes and is paying for a bike he bought on credit. He has a poor credit score and can barely afford to support himself and his current children. However he says he will do extra night shifts to cover the costs.

2) The woman hasn’t even had her visa application accepted yet. If it is accepted then who’s to say the relationship lasts. They could be sick of the sight of each other after a few months. It all seems to be moving so fast. He seems to be putting this woman before his current children. It could be said that he’s letting his heart rule his head. I would also question whether she is coercing him into having the procedure done.

3) He hasn’t spoken to his parents about it. I’m therefore led to believe that he feels they may try talking him out of it and therefore asked me as he sees me as a safe bet.

I am applying for a mortgage and am concerned that a lender may argue there’s a risk that I may have to pay the debt and therefore my affordability score will be affected. Am I right to be concerned?

I just feel that the financial risks to myself are too high considering his poor credit history, poor financial management and the situation with this woman and strongly advise him to wait until later in his relationship and maybe during that time save money for the procedure rather than taking out any loans etc.

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to be a guarantor?

boo_star

Don't do it.

It's a great way to lose the money and a friend.

djphig

To be honest, i'm surprised you even have to ask.

Don't do it

Rainbowgirl84

rh205 wrote: »

Firstly I’m sorry for the long post but I feel it is important to add context to how the situation regarding being asked to be a guarantor has arisen.

My friend met a Filipino woman online. They’ve been talking online for over a year and met up for the first time for two weeks a couple of months ago. The plan is for her to come to the UK for six months and if it all works out they’ll get married. He has three children with his ex and lives in a rented apartment.

A couple of days ago he asked me to be a guarantor for his medical bill. He promises that he will be able to pay the bill and has said he’ll do extra shifts to pay for it. He is having a reverse vasectomy because he wants to have a child with the Filipino woman because she has no children. The procedure costs about £2775 with monthly payments of £198. He has deposited £400. The procedure isn’t available on the NHS and therefore he has to go private.

He went for a pre-op assessment today and has put down the deposit and is now waiting for my answer as to whether I’ll act as guarantor. I feel like I’m being backed into a corner without being given time to think about it. I’ve only seen him briefly at work as we work different shifts so haven’t had time to meet up to talk about it.

I have several issues with this:

1) He has a track record of never having a lot of money left at the end of each month. He owns expensive bikes and is paying for a bike he bought on credit. He has a poor credit score and can barely afford to support himself and his current children. However he says he will do extra night shifts to cover the costs.

2) The woman hasn’t even had her visa application accepted yet. If it is accepted then who’s to say the relationship lasts. They could be sick of the sight of each other after a few months. It all seems to be moving so fast. He seems to be putting this woman before his current children. It could be said that he’s letting his heart rule his head. I would also question whether she is coercing him into having the procedure done.

3) He hasn’t spoken to his parents about it. I’m therefore led to believe that he feels they may try talking him out of it and therefore asked me as he sees me as a safe bet.

I am applying for a mortgage and am concerned that a lender may argue there’s a risk that I may have to pay the debt and therefore my affordability score will be affected. Am I right to be concerned?

I just feel that the financial risks to myself are too high considering his poor credit history, poor financial management and the situation with this woman and strongly advise him to wait until later in his relationship and maybe during that time save money for the procedure rather than taking out any loans etc.

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to be a guarantor?

Run for the hills!...you WILL end up paying. Ask yourself why he needs a guarantor for a loan and you don't? Tell him to save all the overtime money and pay it himself.

Sea_Shell

The usual advice on here is don't do it!! Even if it was for family, not just friends!!

Can you afford to lose all this money? If so, go ahead or gift it. If you need it back, sorry but you really shouldn't go guarantor.

What's the APR on the guarantee loan?

Can you not borrow the money cheaper yourself (as that's what you're effectively doing)?

AndyPix

A real friend wouldn't put you on the spot like that.


Say no and mean it

KatrinaWaves

There are 1000 red flags, (as said, he has a long term plan so why not save up over the long term, why does he need the reversal NOW, when it may not work out. Note: I am not a vasectomy reversal expert)

if none of that works, it will scupper your mortgage chances. Do not do it. Sounds like he cant afford any more kids as is...

Browntoa

Your are also assuming the his "online friend" actually exists and is not a scammer sitting in an internet caf! somewhere

Missus_Hyde

For goodness sake, I can't believe that you're actually contemplating doing this thing!! :eek:

These Forums are littered with the remains of the broken friendships of people who have lent money to "friends" and been guarantors for "friends" who are, quite frankly, such a bad bet for the credit companies that they couldn't get a loan themselves.

Listen to your inner voice.......the words "don't" "touch" and "barge pole"come to mind!

foxy-stoat

I only read the title, its a no from me.

molerat

All you needed to write was the title, the rest is irrelevant waffle as there is only one option and that is don't do it. The reason he needs a guarantor is because he has a proven track record of being unreliable, what makes you think this time it is any different - well it will be because you will be on the hook for the payments !