Friend wants me to be Guarantor but I have concerns

macman

Cheaper just to give him the money or borrow it yourself. The result will be the same.

tetley

Browntoa wrote: »

Your are also assuming the his "online friend" actually exists and is not a scammer sitting in an internet caf! somewhere

if you bothered to read the text, the OP quite clearly states that they met up for two weeks. Hope this helps.

Claddagh_Noir

I am not even going to read the whole initial post but in the words of those kids from Grange Hill 'Just Say No!'

AnotherJoe

rh205 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. I came on here as this seemed so crazy that I wanted other peoples views on it.
It certainly did


At the moment he isn't talking to me or replying to my messages. This is probably because he's annoyed that he can't get the op unless I agree to be a guarantor.

Some friend. And stop messaging him.


Whilst on the one hand I feel bad for him and can understand his frustration on the other hand I don't as I felt he was a huge financial risk that could ruin my financial situation at a time when I can ill afford it.
Some friend to even ask.
Also the situation with this women felt like a scam after all she hasn't even been guaranteed entry and here he is wasting thousands on an op with a low success rate.

Ask yourself why he's doing it NOW before the (so he says) 6 month trial period of living together. Whats the rationale? And thats assuming they get the visa - and how's he going to afford that and her and his kids and a new baby when he hasnt got £2k to get his bits unentangled and he wont flog his bike (motor or push?) Is it because he's inept, a moron, or actually is just trying to get some money from you he has no intention of paying back?


He only asked two days before his pre-op so it felt like he rushing me into making snap financial decisions which I don't like doing.

Some friend.

So whilst I might've lost a friend at the same time
No true friend would even have asked.
I feel glad that others are in agreement and have validated my concerns therefore enabling me to make a sensible decision which has ultimately led to my credit score / finances remaining intact.
Yep, imagine he took it, didnt pay the money back or even he did pay the money back but this loan tipped the balance on your mortgage, plus all this didnt work out? Or worse, he next wanted money for visa, or guarantor on new flat for wife and baby? Once you've been sucked into a scheme like this where does it end?
So I would like to thank every poster for their valuable input.

Good on you, steer clear of this hapless (at best) guilting excuse of a friend.

scaredofdebt

What the?


In any case, reversing a vasectomy is not 100% likely to work.

pinkshoes

If he is struggling to afford to pay for his current children, it would be irresponsible to have more!

If he really wanted this procedure, he could sell his bikes then use the monthly payment(s) to pay for the procedure.

And even then, he should wait until this person has actually come to the UK and if they get on together!! Chances are, once she is pregnant, she'll leave him...

I'm guessing she is now refusing to come over if he can't have kids (and give her a uk passport...)?

Robisere

rh205 wrote: »

Firstly I’m sorry for the long post but I feel it is important to add context to how the situation regarding being asked to be a guarantor has arisen.

My friend met a Filipino woman online. They’ve been talking online for over a year and met up for the first time for two weeks a couple of months ago. The plan is for her to come to the UK for six months and if it all works out they’ll get married. He has three children with his ex and lives in a rented apartment.

A couple of days ago he asked me to be a guarantor for his medical bill. He promises that he will be able to pay the bill and has said he’ll do extra shifts to pay for it. He is having a reverse vasectomy because he wants to have a child with the Filipino woman because she has no children. The procedure costs about £2775 with monthly payments of £198. He has deposited £400. The procedure isn’t available on the NHS and therefore he has to go private.

He went for a pre-op assessment today and has put down the deposit and is now waiting for my answer as to whether I’ll act as guarantor. I feel like I’m being backed into a corner without being given time to think about it. I’ve only seen him briefly at work as we work different shifts so haven’t had time to meet up to talk about it.

I have several issues with this:

1) He has a track record of never having a lot of money left at the end of each month. He owns expensive bikes and is paying for a bike he bought on credit. He has a poor credit score and can barely afford to support himself and his current children. However he says he will do extra night shifts to cover the costs.

2) The woman hasn’t even had her visa application accepted yet. If it is accepted then who’s to say the relationship lasts. They could be sick of the sight of each other after a few months. It all seems to be moving so fast. He seems to be putting this woman before his current children. It could be said that he’s letting his heart rule his head. I would also question whether she is coercing him into having the procedure done.

3) He hasn’t spoken to his parents about it. I’m therefore led to believe that he feels they may try talking him out of it and therefore asked me as he sees me as a safe bet.

I am applying for a mortgage and am concerned that a lender may argue there’s a risk that I may have to pay the debt and therefore my affordability score will be affected. Am I right to be concerned?

I just feel that the financial risks to myself are too high considering his poor credit history, poor financial management and the situation with this woman and strongly advise him to wait until later in his relationship and maybe during that time save money for the procedure rather than taking out any loans etc.

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to be a guarantor?

READ AGAIN to yourself all 3 of your numbered points, and your last 3 paragraphs.
No need to make up a story to explain why you cannot possibly give him this money, just say NO as emphatically as you can. If you lose his "friendship" all you have lost is someone who wants to create an imagined future with your money, which you will never see again.

Voyager2002

pinkshoes wrote: »

I'm guessing she is now refusing to come over if he can't have kids (and give her a uk passport...)?

Just for the record: even if she were to come over, she would have to stay with him for another FIVE YEARS to get a British passport. Children would not make the slightest bit of difference.

zippygeorgeandben

I'm so late to the party that my Uber is here already. For what it's worth, have you got your own children or something you would like to splash your money on? After all, your own children are more important than this request.
A true friend would not put you in this position, and I will just give you a gentle warning...If you do decide to lend the money, be prepared to have to pay it all yourself (the friendship will have broken down by then) and if you consider starting a new thread on here about trying to get your money back, you'll have disregarded all the wonderful advice you have received on this thread.
Just don't do it, otherwise you'll look like an idiot.

GaleSF63

rh205 wrote: »

At the moment he isn't talking to me or replying to my messages.

Way to go!

...