Aspergers/ASD support thread

conradmum

I had to read up on Asperger's recently for an assignment and read that book too. Learning about Asperger's has been a revelation to me. I'm sure my late father had it, my brother has it, my husband, two of my sons and even me! Yet in some of us it's very mild, so, yes, I can hold down a job and have a social life (unlike my father and brother). Knowing about this condition has been a tremendous help in dealing with my youngest son.
It just makes me feel sad for the people who had it before it was recognised as a specific condition and who were ostracised for being strange.

Savvy_Sue

Louisepp wrote:

He never agreed that he was Aspergic until he read the Dog in the Night book. His friend bought it for him. He read it one evening and then came down to tell me about it and announced "I have got it haven't I", like he'd caught a cold.

After we'd just had DS1's tentative diagnosis, I told a friend who asked what it was and promptly said "Oh I'm one of them too! Just didn't know what it was called." And it's quite true, he is. And with DS1, I asked if he wanted to know what the doctor had said about him in her letter, and it was classic! "X is an able child ..." "No I'm NOT!" "... who sometimes has difficulty accepting this." "No I'm ..." (Watch cogs whirring in his brain, I can't deny that bit, because if I do, I'm admitting I'm able, so ... drat, there's nothing I can say to get out of this!)

Louisepp wrote:

My son is unusual. He is 18 years old, has friends and a job. Says things that make you think uuuuhhhh??? It's good to find other parents of Aspergics.

Well, not that unusual. DS1 made good friends at school, especially in 6th form, not many of them but strong. And, dare I say it, some of them are even more strange than he is! :rotfl:

He's now at Uni, has made new friends there through juggling, and now he's home for Easter he's back at his old p/t cinema job. Manages to say "Enjoy the film" to the customers and sound as if he means it! (Because they really do at the small cinema where he works!)

But I'm looking forward to seeing how he gets on next year, sharing a house with 3 GIRLS! :eek: There's only me representing the fair sex at home!

Louisepp

My lad is working in a pub. He's loving it, especially when they let him sweep the cellar. He says that he hopes they always lets him do that.

So pleased he got his 3 A levels. That must help

Last night on returning from the evening shift, he asked if I mind if he brings home some crates of wine. He explains that he doesn't like wine, yet he has been told that it is good for him, he feels that he must drink it every day to get used to it. Ummm. Do I think that would be wise? What should he do if he finds he still doesn't like it...should he drink it anyway? How much longer will he live if he does drink some each day? Is there a particular brand that he should focus on? Am I proud of the fact that he's doing this? Where should he put the bottles? Should he leave them on the floor in his bedroom? Should he put them on his cupboard? Is it important to open one bottle at a time.

Ack....it was 2:30am!!

Aril

Hi another parent with an AS child here. I've found things have got easier as my son has grown up and his intellect takes over. It also becomes easier as they progress up the school and it becomes more timetabled. He found the free play in reception very difficult. I wouldn't swap him despite the difficulties his behaviour sometimes causes. We've just had his school report which says he is one of the most rewarding children his teacher has taught and that the other children are attracted by him because he has such an interesting personality....the EP recommended Martian on the Playground by claire Sainsbury as a good book to read
Aril

moggins

Oh this thread has been a breath of fresh air. My DS was diagnosed with AS when he was 8. I'd known there was something wrong with him from a few months old but no one would listen to me. We saw an American Psychologist who told us that although social behaviours were something that would never come naturally to him there was no reason why he could not be taught them.

We've worked so hard with him that now most people don't even realise that he has AS until they spend a lot of time with him, he was even doing really well at school until the last month when they brought in a BFL programme, now his behaviour is getting worse again because they are refusing to make any allowances for his disability

He has had some major episodes over the last year where he has done things that shocked even us but when we appeal for help we just get told that he is doing so well that they can't give us any help. Great isn't it? If you're a good parent you get punished, if you're a crap parent you can get all the help in the world.

babyblueblue

I am an autism practitioner with the Scotish Society for Autism. I have came across this problem before. We had a service user who wouldn't wear pants, she now wears an all in one body suit that fastenes in between the legs with studs. This seemed to solve her problem as she loved to wear her swim suit. It's worth a try.

kabie

moggins, what's a "BFL programme" please?

moggins

Behaviour For Learning, it's supposedly a programme to promote good behaviour in students. Basically they come down like a ton of bricks on any bad behaviour. The problem is that since they have instigated it there have been many more incidents of extreme behaviour in the school, I haven't seen anything like it since my son started there. And all allowances for DS's normal AS behaviour are being ignored by the nine new teachers brought in for the duration of the programme, he's had three detentions in three weeks

moggins

He is attending a mainstream school, he was doing really well and the staff were wonderful, we had a very long meeting with them before he started and gave them all the books we had on the subject. He was a silver student which is something not many of the 'normal' kids even achieve. It's starting to sound like I will have to step in and speak to the school about what is going on. I don't expect them to let him get away with bad behaviour but some of the things he is being given detention for are really petty and would have been ignored before. He is incapable of ignoring provocation and most of the punishments he's been given is when he is being teased by other boys in the class and he tells them to stop. They are getting away with it and he is being given detention for talking in class

Savvy_Sue

My heart goes out to you moggins, DS1 once got into trouble when other children were provoking him, and it's unreasonable to expect AS children to respond in the same way as others.