Aspergers/ASD support thread

frugalbychoice

Hi, I thought I'd post this here


I'm not sure where to post this, regarding my daughter who is 19 (20 next month) and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 16.

I always knew there was something not quite 'right' since she was about 4, she never really had a group of friends, only one 'best friend' that she was overprotective over and extremely jealous of anyone who spoke to 'her' friend.

Anyway, she is now an adult, has no friends, wont leave the house without me, and seems to have got worse in terms of maturity. She insists on talking like a baby, sucking her thumb , and she wears clothes that are very childish (frilly skirts and little girls dresses etc). She hardly talks to anyone but me and my husband, and won't join in with a conversation. She will just sit there and watch us.

I know my daughter is 'different' but I don't understand why she is so immature. She is very intelligent and on the rare occasion we can have meaningful intelligent conversations. When my friends come over and see my daughter, and ask me how old she is I feel like telling them 'she's a 19 year old girl trapped in a 4 year's olds body'.:( They don't believe she is autistic because she looks normal, they just think she's about 11 or 12 because of the clothes she wears/way she acts.

Recently she has asked for a Tinkerbell bedroom, and I'm just not sure how to approach this. I told her she's a young woman and she gets very upset about it:(

Do I just encourage/go - along with her childlike behaviour and interests? Or do I treat her like a 'normal' girl of her age?

starnight_2

Frugal - it sounds like she is struggling with the idea of becoming an adult and everything that comes with that. Has she no support to help her through this? I would speak to her doctors and find out how best to help her through it.

edgex

Study linking vaccines to autism has been outed as a fraud

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2963904

Mandles

frugalbychoice wrote: »

Hi, I thought I'd post this here


I'm not sure where to post this, regarding my daughter who is 19 (20 next month) and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 16.



Anyway, she is now an adult, has no friends, wont leave the house without me, and seems to have got worse in terms of maturity. She insists on talking like a baby, sucking her thumb , and she wears clothes that are very childish (frilly skirts and little girls dresses etc). She hardly talks to anyone but me and my husband, and won't join in with a conversation. She will just sit there and watch us.


Recently she has asked for a Tinkerbell bedroom, and I'm just not sure how to approach this. I told her she's a young woman and she gets very upset about it:(

Do I just encourage/go - along with her childlike behaviour and interests? Or do I treat her like a 'normal' girl of her age?

Have you thought of sending her to college (if the have it in your area) for a life skills class? A teen relative of mine with pretty bad autism is doing a course and i think it has been amazing. She will always be autistic but she can now do so many things now and said "i am proud of myself" which i thought was lovely. She will never do some things that others her age can do but it has given her a real feel of independance and she is so happy.

I did read on a site this "Under extreme stress, AS adults can exhibit very child-like manifestations." so maybe she is very stressed at the moment, like other poster said, maybe stressed about growing up?

Are there any groups in your area? I have always been very against support groups ( dunno why, just me being odd!) but recently meeting other mums in the same boat was amazing and felt a lot of my troubles were lifted by their suggestions. There is a lot of help out there. Sounds like you could do with a little now.

All the best.

stefano

frugalbychoice wrote: »

I'm not sure where to post this, regarding my daughter who is 19 (20 next month) and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 16.

Excuse me but what is PDD-NOS?

sock-knitter

stefano wrote: »

Excuse me but what is PDD-NOS?

pervasive development disorder- not otherwise specified

cazscoob

At present my little boy Charlie is attending a child development centre, he will be 3 this month. Charlie and a little girl from the centre have created a close bond and as the little girl was leaving at christmas they thought it would be a good opportunity to move him to the mainstream nursery now rather than wait until summer. The nursery and development centre have had a meeting together in Nov and we have another on tuesday, the people involved in Charlies care all attend and then they discuss what the next steps will be and try to get them put into place for him.

I have thought that this is a little too quick for him as he doesnt like change and as his behaviour can be uncontrollable i am scared at how the other nursery children and teachers will react. Charlie needs a lot of 1 on 1 and can become distructive and out of control hurting himself and others, but the nursery have made no provisions for this. they seem to think that he is going to attend the nursery and slot in the way that most other children do! My Health visitor has just been around and told methat speaking to the nursery staff they played down how he can be and even as she explained that he is a lot worse they laughed it off!

I am worried now that he is going to be put in a situation where he is able to hurt others and has no clear boundries. I dont feel they have put anything into place that i feel would benefit him, ie, signing, 1 to 1, a quiet corner(he can sometimes bring himself down by going away and sitting on his own. this doesnt always work/happen)
Can you help me with a list of things to ask or get pushed into place? Once he is away from the centre we will have no support either, the centre have their own doctor who deals with him and pushes apps through etc, speech therapy, physio, OCT
thanks x

Flyboy152

cazscoob wrote: »

At present my little boy Charlie is attending a child development centre, he will be 3 this month. Charlie and a little girl from the centre have created a close bond and as the little girl was leaving at christmas they thought it would be a good opportunity to move him to the mainstream nursery now rather than wait until summer. The nursery and development centre have had a meeting together in Nov and we have another on tuesday, the people involved in Charlies care all attend and then they discuss what the next steps will be and try to get them put into place for him.

I have thought that this is a little too quick for him as he doesnt like change and as his behaviour can be uncontrollable i am scared at how the other nursery children and teachers will react. Charlie needs a lot of 1 on 1 and can become distructive and out of control hurting himself and others, but the nursery have made no provisions for this. they seem to think that he is going to attend the nursery and slot in the way that most other children do! My Health visitor has just been around and told methat speaking to the nursery staff they played down how he can be and even as she explained that he is a lot worse they laughed it off!

In my experience, one of the most common reasons for this approach, is that the staff are concerned that they will be perceived as not being able to cope with a child who has additional needs and that if they complain about his behaviour, he will be labeled as a disruptive child. They need to made aware that none of this matters and the needs of Charlie are what is most important.

I am worried now that he is going to be put in a situation where he is able to hurt others and has no clear boundries. I dont feel they have put anything into place that i feel would benefit him, ie, signing, 1 to 1, a quiet corner(he can sometimes bring himself down by going away and sitting on his own. this doesnt always work/happen)

What is the rationale behind moving Charlie to the nursery?

Can you help me with a list of things to ask or get pushed into place? Once he is away from the centre we will have no support either, the centre have their own doctor who deals with him and pushes apps through etc, speech therapy, physio, OCT
thanks x

Will you have no more contact with the centre after Charlie moves? What channels are there that connect the centre and the nursery?

cazscoob

Charlie was being moved due to the Little girl he has attached himself to being old enough to start the schools nursery. The development centre is around 30/40 min drive away and takes children from all over so they will be at different nurserys. They thought that making the break for the 2 of them at the same time would be a good move as he wouldnt be looking for her whilst she was elsewhere.

There will not be any more contact he will be passed over and that will be it there are no channels between the 2 he was referred by the pre school community team and after assessing him they decided that it was the right place for him at the time.

i think i may phone the pre school community team on monday before the meeting and discuss the move and if they can push for extra help, he will need it as he has a jekyll and hyde personality and it switches so quickly. i think i am more concerned about the other childrens safety as he has really hurts us on a regualr basis.

Savvy_Sue

how long would C be able to stay at the development centre if the little girl had not been leaving? I can see where they are coming from, but not sure I like where they've ended up - he doesn't like change, this girl leaving is change, hey let's hit him with it all at once and whats more not put any support in place in his new nursery ...

agree you should phone pre school team and express your concerns quite forcibly: ask what happens if C does NOT cope and hurts another child / member of staff!