Aspergers/ASD support thread

4Chickens

Don't worry too much Sal.

My son has mild Asperger's and he is also in year 10. The main difference is that my son goes to a special needs school and the support we get is unbelievable. He has just started an introduction to engineering course at college. There are some kids from other schools his age but there are also kids that have just left school.

With regards to work, my son is very lucky as my husband is a self employed commercial vehicle repairer and all his customer's welcome my son as a part of the package. My son worked all of the summer holiday with his dad. Meeting new people has helped my son become more socially independent.

I think it is very unfair of the school to give such short notice considering your son will need a bit more help and support. What advice can I offer. Well ask friends, family, neighbours etc if there is anything available. You could also contact an organisation called Connexions. We have this in Northamptonshire but I don't know if it is countrywide. Failing this, contact your neares special needs school and see if they can help you in any way. You will be surprised how forthcoming they are. They may even allow him to work there, who knows? Also you could contact Citizens Advice, Volunteer Bureau. Basically anywhere that offers free services to others in need. Hopefully if the H&S Nazis haven't got there first, your son will be in with a fighting chance. Good luck, but if you need any more help just ask.:beer:

LifeisEvenbetter

Hi SallyUK. Is it worth trying the National Autistic Society for advice/support? Or a local Autism group that also covers Aspergers? Ususally these organisations will be able to give you up to date advice and can often offer support to your son. I know the West Midlands Autism Society offers support around employment for individuals who have Aspergers Syndrome as well as Autism.

Maybe you might want to talk with your son about what he is interested in? This might be a good starting point for looking for work experience.

Hope that helps.

SallyUK

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated.

He's said he wants to study medicine!!!

I'll take a look at those names you both gave me so thank you very much for them.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Sally
xxx

Savvy_Sue

Definitely agree that you should start with his interests. Now, medicine ... would your local Boots take him on in the pharmacy section? Also worth (you!) phoning the local hospital to ask whether they have any work experience arrangements: your son might not get to follow doctors around, but I think a friend's daughter started work experience in a hospital.

Now, as for expecting your son to arrange a placement himself in two weeks - :rotfl: I presume you've checked his planner or letter or anything he's been sent home with? Is it possible he's convinced himself he needs to find this placement in two weeks, when really all he needs to do is outline a plan for how to get a work placement?

You see, DS3 is in Year 11 now, and I know that about this time last year he had a sheet outlining what HE was supposed to do in order to set up a work placement for July, with a timetable. Hah! Muggins spent several happy hours phoning the local county cricket club (don't do work placements any more because of Health and Safety) and finding cricket bat manufacturers all over the UK (ditto).

Quite apart from anything else, if a child is leaving for school before 9 am, and doesn't get home until well after 4 pm, just when are they supposed to make initial phone calls for themselves? To be fair, DS3 did go into the local cricket shop and ask if they would give him a placement, because that's somewhere he could get to after school. But they said no too ...

Eventually DS3 ended up at a local Trade Union, but it wasn't arranged until Easter. And all he did was re-write my draft the letter confirming dates etc after they'd verbally said they could probably help if he wrote to them.

BTW, DS3 does NOT have AS, despite the cricket obsession, but DS1 does, mildly. I initiated his work placement (in an internet cafe in France!) and DS2's (computer recycling locally).

And our Aspies are sometimes surprisingly good in places you wouldn't expect them to be - mine works part-time at the local cinema, where he says "Enjoy the film!" with the best of them. He's also become more sociable the older he gets: even GIRLS in his circle in the 6th form, and now he's at Uni he's not quite the life and soul of the party, but certainly in with a good crowd.

So don't despair, there is life in employment for Aspies, and they can change over time! Plus they can make a selling point of their shyness ("I like to concentrate intently on my work and do not waste time chatting ...")

SallyUK

Morning Savvy-Sue

Thanks so much for your reply, it's given me some more hope.

I did speak to the chap who organises the Work Experience at the local hospital and it was him who said my son had no chance!! They wouldn't be allowed on the wards at age 14.

I managed to get some more information out of him last night - it's like getting blood from a stone! lol. He said the weeks when he was due to work were from 3rd - 14th Dec, but apparently he has got until 28th Sept to find something!

I did write to his SENCO asking her to let me know what support, advice and guidelines the pupils were given, but needless to say she's not replied.

That's really encouraging to hear about your family and their work too.

I mentioned to my son last night that perhaps he could find something in a charity shop - but his reply was - that's not going to help me be a Dr!! lol

So we've sent off some letters to the hospital, Dr's surgeries and will think of some more places today.

Arrrgh! lol

Sal
x

seven-day-weekend

If you live near a University maybe he could get a placement in the Science Labs.

My son has mild AS (although we didn't know at the time, he's 27 now. We did know he had difficulty in certain areas). He loved computers and he loved Science. So we (I) arranged work experience at our local Uni; one week in the IT dept and one week in the Science Lab setting up experiments etc.

Both supervisors were very pleased with him and in fact the IT man left him in charge of answering the phone all afternoon while he was elsewhere!

He has had ups and downs with employment, his particular difficulties with organisation make some jobs difficult for him.. He has had a spate as a Computer Technician which he is fine at, but he also likes retail work and at the moment works in Matalan. He likes this because the work is in 'bite-size chunks' and he doesn't have to organise and sequence it.

Hope your son gets something!

SallyUK

Thanks seven-day-weekend, I've just written to the Uni - that was a good idea.

Sal
x

eve13_2

Hi Sal
First remember he's your son not advisors. Mine is an Aspie of 22 and very proud of it. He went to an animal care/horticultural college for 4 years, with no problems as the kids went there to enjoy and learn- not to socialise and impress. He now does voluntary work with kids 2 days a week, and gets paid every school holiday by Millenium volunteers to work at playschemes. He isn't ready to go into permanent work yet, and I have no intention of pushing him as this WOULD cause major stress outs, panic attacks and melt downs. It may take Aspies longer but they can get meaningful lives- not pushed into conventional special needs jobs such as fetching and returning supermarket trollies!! So good luck

Savvy_Sue

SallyUK wrote: »

I mentioned to my son last night that perhaps he could find something in a charity shop - but his reply was - that's not going to help me be a Dr!! lol

Actually, he won't believe you, but that's not quite true ...

If he's going to be a GOOD doctor, he's going to need reasonable people skills. He's going to need to be able to speak to complete strangers, put them at their ease, and help them tell him maybe quite intimate things.

We do all know of doctors with no evident people skills (Doc Martin, ITV, Mondays, 9 pm! plus of course House!), and Toothsmith has described an excellent orthodontist with 'different' people skills. But he may struggle if he doesn't pick up some basic 'meeting and greeting' skills, and a charity shop may be an excellent place to do so.

So, anything that gets him a bit more relaxed about dealing with people has got to be a good thing.

But like I said, he won't believe you ... :rotfl:

As well as writing to the SENCO, you may need to phone them. Although frankly it's astonishing that they expect ANYONE to set up a reasonable placement at such short notice.

Another 'tip' if you can't set up a good placement that meets all their requirements and ticks all their boxes is this: we had DS1's placement all set up, in France, and I checked at an early stage if that would be OK. The teacher said he'd have to check but would let me know. So at Easter he did: no. :mad: We were then in the situation you're in - very limited time and a very 'difficult' child to place. If he didn't find a placement, the school would - probably in retail! :eek:

I wrote and asked how the XXXX they expected us to sort out a placement for him at such short notice, and if only they'd said from the start that he couldn't go to France we'd have explored other options much sooner! (They do now say no overseas placements, and no placements with fewer than 5 employees.)

The teacher phoned me and said that he couldn't possibly advise me to follow this course of action, BUT if DS1 was taken out of school for a family holiday when he was meant to be doing work experience, and if he happened to take his WE diary with him, and if he managed to get that diary filled in, then the teacher would happily sign it off for him on his return.

So, that's what we did! DS1 flew to France all by himself (yes I know we said he was on a family holiday!), spent a happy week geeking in our friend's cybercafe and NOT speaking French, and came home with a completed diary!

SallyUK

That sounds great SS, something I wouldn't have minded doing myself!

I know what you mean about having communications skills - jeez, I can't even get him to answer the bloomin' phone at home and that's when I'm ringing him!!! lol

So working in a shop might be a good idea, that way he would get the chance to meet and greet, as you said.

You've all been great with your suggestions, it's given me some more hope and some more ways at looking to do this.

Thanks again
Sal
xx