Aspergers/ASD support thread

Peanuckle

Rant time again :mad:


My eldest (17, ADD, Asperger's, and other physical problems) has just started a HND college course in computing, the school had been talking to the college for months prior to the summer holidays to make sure they were aware of his needs and to make sure that support would be in place. Well............ found out yesterday that not only is there no support there but no one had even told his tutors that he had Asperger's :mad:

Bless his heart, he catches the bus every morning (we did trial runs for months to get him used to the route and most of the bus drivers now recognise him and are very welcoming), heads to his first class (timetable is available online) and sits there til someone tells him what to do. We wouldn't have known the support wasn't there if the fire alarm hadn't gone off yesterday and he rang me in a panic asking what he should do.
As he's over 16 the college consider him an adult and won't discuss anything with me without him present so I've attempted to take a back seat and it's blown up in my face in style
I spoke to the support for learning dept and the woman there said "he can't possibly have Asperger's, he had a conversation with me and autistics can't do that!" :eek: Talk about banging your head against a brick wall, desperately trying to get funding that the forms were sent in for in March sorted now, someone had sat on them as he obviously didn't need support.

It does get easier when our children get older, honest but sometimes, just sometimes, I want to slap the so called experts round the head and point out that if 4 doctors have all agreed on a diagnosis then a one week course does not make you qualified to overturn that and refuse support :mad:

sock-knitter

shegirl wrote: »

Hi,to save me posting everything over again,could anyone offer opinions etc over on this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2730457 ?

Thanks

sorry but i could only read the first page of this thread, and my eyes are leaking.
hope you get the help you need for your ds
it saddens me, that p[eople in society have so little understanding of mental illness.
one of my ds, head butted a brick wall on sunday, completely out of frustration, and we got loads rude comments then.
would you consider moving your son to a special school, where the staff have more understanding, and can deal with these situations.
i have two sons, both with mental illness, and both of them go to special schools, it was the best thing i ever did, was taking them out of mainstream
big hugs
shaz xxx

isualive

The saddest thing in my eyes is that he is in a special school. My DS has ASD & developmental delay. He also went to a special school & this would have never happened there!

Indie_Kid

sock-knitter wrote: »

would you consider moving your son to a special school, where the staff have more understanding, and can deal with these situations.

The school is a special school; but would it be worth moving him to one that is better equipped to deal with the issues he has?

starnight_2

Shegirl - that's a disgrace, a SM school should know that restraining a child in that situation is one of the worst things they could do. Unfortunately I don't have any suggestions for you other than to keep at it. Hope your son is ok and you get everything sorted.

xx



Today was a bad morning for my DS and me, I think I may have pushed him to hard. Ended up calling my sister so I could get to work, so he now at hers trying to complete his homework. But I have a question. My DS is 8, not officially diagnosed, though every dr has said they think it's Asperger's, so just waiting for the school visit. He is in P5, so I know work gets harder and everything, and he seemed to be coping okay for the first week, but today has shown me he isn't really. He's broke out in an eczema rash, and is very on edge. Also he is supposed to be starting back to Cubs next week, which had really been good for him but I'm not sure he will cope with sqeezing that extra one hour in a day. TBH if it was my choice I would pick Cubs over homework.

So this is what he gets for homework. Monday - reading, spelling, tables, English. Tuesday - reading, spelling, tables, maths. Wednesday - reading, spelling, tables, english. Thursday - revise all spellings and tables for test on Friday, english or maths, reading. Weekend - reading and sometimes a written piece. It takes my son over and hour and a half to complete most of this, and he really struggles trying to understand the English sometimes.

Now, yesterday they done some work in school, had to come home and write ideas for a story and 4 sentences to start the story. After 30-40 mins and a lot of prompting I got 4 sentences, but he didn't understnad the ideas part no matter how much I tried. So he didn't write anything at all. Therefore this morning he imploded which ended up me late and him not going to school to see if my sister could help him. I know the teacher explained some of the stuff to him, but he loses focus so eaasily. His last teacher put him at the front table, and always checked to make sure he was still paying attention. I think yesterday he stopped listening and therefore just dind't understand what he was meant to do. And because he didn't understand it confused him and he got frustrated, leading to this morning.

I just don't know what to say to the teacher, or how to approach her. She knows an Ed Psych is supposed to be coming to observe him, but she didn't seem to care. Does anyone have any advice or ideas?

Thanks
xx


PS Especially if you read all that, sorry I didn't realise I wrote so much. :P

julie03

i hate this kind of homework, my son is ok with homework as long as its just questions with fact answers like maths, we have to put ideas in his head, which isnt really the right way to go but it makes it alot easier

we have an extremely good school, the EP is coming in november but if he is having problems we just go back to the teacher and they sometimes arrange someone to sit with him and explain it

churchrat

hello all thanks for the comments and opinions, all very helpful.

One reason for wanting for wanting to talk about it more is that my dd has problems within our extended family, with one of my dh's sisters being very short tempered and rude to her. To be honest, my dd is rude to her as well, although my dd has always said she does not intend to be. My sil is very like my dd, and can be very rude, although the rest of the family seem to ignore her behavoiur.

Can I ask if any adult aspies have problems with family and how you cope with it? particularly older people who may still not believe that the condition even exists?

I read the posts from starnight and it bought back so many memories. My dd could never do english story time, never got the hang of it. Even now she never reads fiction books and I used to worry that she was missing out on something that gave me so much pleasure. Over the yrs I have just accepted that she loves reading books with lists and facts and it gives her as much pleasure. I have no advice at all, but wish you all well.

thanks for replying to me, it has really helped.

churchrat

edgex

Peanuckle wrote: »

Rant time again :mad:


My eldest (17, ADD, Asperger's, and other physical problems) has just started a HND college course in computing, the school had been talking to the college for months prior to the summer holidays to make sure they were aware of his needs and to make sure that support would be in place. Well............ found out yesterday that not only is there no support there but no one had even told his tutors that he had Asperger's :mad:

Bless his heart, he catches the bus every morning (we did trial runs for months to get him used to the route and most of the bus drivers now recognise him and are very welcoming), heads to his first class (timetable is available online) and sits there til someone tells him what to do. We wouldn't have known the support wasn't there if the fire alarm hadn't gone off yesterday and he rang me in a panic asking what he should do.
As he's over 16 the college consider him an adult and won't discuss anything with me without him present so I've attempted to take a back seat and it's blown up in my face in style
I spoke to the support for learning dept and the woman there said "he can't possibly have Asperger's, he had a conversation with me and autistics can't do that!" :eek: Talk about banging your head against a brick wall, desperately trying to get funding that the forms were sent in for in March sorted now, someone had sat on them as he obviously didn't need support.

It does get easier when our children get older, honest but sometimes, just sometimes, I want to slap the so called experts round the head and point out that if 4 doctors have all agreed on a diagnosis then a one week course does not make you qualified to overturn that and refuse support :mad:

go straight to the head/principal at the college

edgex

starnight wrote: »

Now, yesterday they done some work in school, had to come home and write ideas for a story and 4 sentences to start the story. After 30-40 mins and a lot of prompting I got 4 sentences, but he didn't understnad the ideas part no matter how much I tried. So he didn't write anything at all. Therefore this morning he imploded which ended up me late and him not going to school to see if my sister could help him. I know the teacher explained some of the stuff to him, but he loses focus so eaasily. His last teacher put him at the front table, and always checked to make sure he was still paying attention. I think yesterday he stopped listening and therefore just dind't understand what he was meant to do. And because he didn't understand it confused him and he got frustrated, leading to this morning.

I just don't know what to say to the teacher, or how to approach her. She knows an Ed Psych is supposed to be coming to observe him, but she didn't seem to care. Does anyone have any advice or ideas?

Thanks
xx


PS Especially if you read all that, sorry I didn't realise I wrote so much. :P

creativity > not everyone has it, & some struggle more than others.


as youve had doctors suggest aspergers, tell the teacher that, & that he's having problems with creative/unstructured topics

sock-knitter

sh1305 wrote: »

The school is a special school; but would it be worth moving him to one that is better equipped to deal with the issues he has?

the schooll is well equipped to deal with my son, this incident happened at the weekend, and i cant restrain him on my own, he is over 6 foot tall now, and at 15 years very strong