Aspergers/ASD support thread

Indie_Kid

I hope he finds something soon, SDW.

seven-day-weekend

UPDATE: My son has an interview for Morrisons on Saturday. Still part-time, but 16 hours instead of 8. He has applied for FOUR jobs, all are 16 hours. One is a maternity leave, Ithink all the others are permanent. Two are for checkout and two in the chiller department. He will be able to get there on his bike by road or canal towpath, or on the bus (get on it round the corner and off it outside Morrisons ).

Please pray, meditate, hold in thoughts, cross fingers, swing from chandeliers or whatever you do, for him on Saturday!

Indie_Kid

Good luck for your son!

sock-knitter

seven day weekend, fingers crossed for your son, i will mention him in my prayers

churchrat

hello all, I have read the thread and am amazed at the amount of support and advice given, and I need some help please. I'm here for abit of advice about my dd.

She is an adult in her mid20's and has had a lot of physical health problems over her life, but is much better now, although she still has regular hospital visits. Awhile ago she started working with children with aspergers/autism and we used to joke that it sounded just like her. well, guess what! The center she works at deal with young adults as well as children and she has an "informal" diagnosis of aspergers.

To be honest, its a relief (in a funny way) to know that there is reason for her behaviour, for her and all of the family. all of a sudden its become easier to live with her need for order, routine, her fears and needs. At the moment I'm hung up on feeling guilty because I never really did any thing about that aspect of her life and feel that I just left her to get on with it.

anyway, my question is ---is there any point in getting a more formal diagnosis? She is not affected enough to get any benefits and has finished schooling, although she is talking about going back to college to get a more formal education qualification. She does not want to because she says that it is only her business and she doesn't want to discuss it with anyone else. I wonder if it might help in any way. Its still early days for her and us, which is strange because she has been like this all of her life.

any experiences/stories/advice would be so helpful right now. Its difficult for me and oh, because she does not want to talk to anyone else in the family about it at the moment, so I dont have any one I can discuss it with. It would be different if she were a child, but I can't talk about it without her permission.

I have just read back this post and I know it sounds like I'm just worried about me (well I am! but not just me) but I really feel the need for more info about newly diagnosed adults. I will def have a look at happygirls blog and whatever anyone else can suggest.

thanks for taking the time to read.
churchrat

Savvy_Sue

DS1 had an informal diagnosis at 12: he "appeared to show aspects of Asperger's" which would need further investigation. As he didn't seem to need any extra help, we didn't pursue it.

Then suddenly at Uni he had to be more formally diagnosed because they wanted him to apply for Disabled Students Grant to pay for a mentor. This came back with "fragments of Asperger's".

So I'd say not to push it if she doesn't want to, but if she seems to be having problems when she goes back to college say that there could be help available, which doesn't necessarily require a 'diagnosis'.

FWIW, I'm quite glad we didn't know any earlier about DS1. I mean, I knew he was a 'strange' child, not quite like any other child I knew, and hard work at times, and not at all emotionally rewarding! But if we'd known sooner, we'd have 'made allowances', we probably wouldn't have pushed him out of his comfort zone as much as we inadvertently did, and I think he'd have ended up far stranger than he is, and far less able to cope with 'real life'.

It's now his choice whether or not he tells people he's an Aspie. He hasn't yet had a proper job since leaving Uni, he's got by on bits and pieces of self-employed work, and that suits him, but he has applied for something now for which he has a phone interview soon. I don't know how well he'll cope with that, he used to be almost unable to use the phone, but I just said to take his time answering questions, and ask what they meant if it didn't make sense to him.

Hope those ramblings make sense ...

seven-day-weekend

Abosolutely brilliant post Savvy Sue and one I agree with absolutely.

Churchrat, my son has chosen not to have a formal diagnosis, he too says he sees no point, we all realised he had AS when he was about 25 (he is now 30). It does, as you say, answer a lot of those questions about why he was different when he was younger. Like you, we feel guilty for not getting him the specialist help he needed at the time (although AS wasn't recognised as a separate condition at the time). However, as he has got older he has developed coping skills and most ousiders would probably think he is just a little eccentric. He never went to Uni so it was not picked up at all.

His girlfriend was diagnosed at Uni when it was discovered that she needed the specialist help. She couldn't cope with Uni for social reasons and dropped out during the second year. She is now 23 and thinking of trying again.

Both of them work, my son's girlfriend also claims DLA.

I agree with SS; if your daughter doesn't want to be diagnosed then leave it and see how she goes on at Uni.

shegirl

Hi,to save me posting everything over again,could anyone offer opinions etc over on this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2730457 ?

Thanks

julie03

some of the comments were terrible, some of the idiots on there have got no idea really need to go and live with all the other idiots and they can live way back in the dark ages

shegirl, hope you can sort out all the problems in your sons school, and get the support you need

shegirl

julie03 wrote: »

some of the comments were terrible, some of the idiots on there have got no idea really need to go and live with all the other idiots and they can live way back in the dark ages

shegirl, hope you can sort out all the problems in your sons school, and get the support you need

Thanks

Strangely enough,all the idiots who said he should be locked away are the people I think should be locked away from society