Aspergers/ASD support thread

Js_Other_Half

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=528&a=7246

"
The following website includes one set by Sennheiser: www.iheadphones.co.uk/sennheiser/74/Sennheiser+Headphones.htm?gclid=CLvKpMnUxIkCFQw7EAod2wqWPw
The Army Surplus online shop sells 'ear defenders' which are reasonably priced: www.forcesreunited.org.uk/shop/shopdisplayproducts.asp?id=20&cat=Misc%2E .
Flightstore has two different types of ear defenders which they say are designed for children: www.flightstore.co.uk/DEPT-HEAD/
Remember to check that these products would be suitable for children before buying them, for both size and safety. (Please note that we are unable to recommend any particular product.)"

3onitsway

Thanks for the links JS O H. I'll have a look - although i'm not sure he'd keep them on. He will wear his wooly hat pulled down over his ears, but it causes an awful sweaty head in the summer!

It is a worry, that I hadn't considered while baby was on its way! I'm worried she's going to end up spoilt rotten as she's picked up as soon as she cries, because if she's not, he starts screeching, making her cry more....... and it goes on, and on!

rosie-marie

3onitsway wrote: »

Hi rosie-marie - My son has also improved a lot over the years with communication etc - he doesn't speak, but has his ways of letting us know what he wants/likes. We don't know if he'll ever have speech.
But, his ear sensitivity seems to have got to be more of a problem for him - although its only certain noises! He really, really dislikes his 8 year old sister singing/crying/moaning and now has a baby sister who's crying really upsets him! But he can sit somewhere continuously banging something very noisily - maybe thats ok because its his own noise?!?!
With an 8 year old drama queen, and an 11 week old baby, we certainly can't keep the house quiet - maybe he'll learn to cope - or maybe someone on here can give us some hints on what to do?

Yes you could be describing our household! Certain sounds (they don't have to be necessarily loud). When my daughter is moaning or nagging for something, or somebody drops something, certain songs on the radio. But he has certain things that he likes to be noisy. He's taken really well to the shades, and they have helped, so will try some kind of ear guard and will report back. If you don't mind me asking how old is he?

3onitsway

rosie-marie wrote: »

Yes you could be describing our household! Certain sounds (they don't have to be necessarily loud). When my daughter is moaning or nagging for something, or somebody drops something, certain songs on the radio. But he has certain things that he likes to be noisy. He's taken really well to the shades, and they have helped, so will try some kind of ear guard and will report back. If you don't mind me asking how old is he?

He'll be 12 next month. Thinking back, i don't think his hearing was so sensitive when his first sister was born when he was 3 1/2 - not that I remember anyway! But as you say, her nagging now she's 8, and the new baby crying really distress him.

lottylouj

my dd behaviour in school is totally different from at home, the school dont believe what she is like because they say they havnt seen it.
she is isolated in school and has aditional needs they admit that but nothing more.
when she is home she is so stroppy, like a real jeckyll and hyde. it only takes the slightest thing to set her off and then the day is over before its begun.

her teacher is a useless and we have had various run ins , the school wont support a statement as they dont see the problems.

im beginning to doubt myself now and wondering if im the problem if she isnt bad in school.they try to give her work she cant do i know she must get frustrated. it feels like they only care about the high achiving kids.

has anyone else had this??

rosie-marie

lottylouj wrote: »

my dd behaviour in school is totally different from at home, the school dont believe what she is like because they say they havnt seen it.
she is isolated in school and has aditional needs they admit that but nothing more.
when she is home she is so stroppy, like a real jeckyll and hyde. it only takes the slightest thing to set her off and then the day is over before its begun.

her teacher is a useless and we have had various run ins , the school wont support a statement as they dont see the problems.

im beginning to doubt myself now and wondering if im the problem if she isnt bad in school.they try to give her work she cant do i know she must get frustrated. it feels like they only care about the high achiving kids.

has anyone else had this??

Blimey, don't go down that rout. I've done the "it must be my fault" thing and its not a healthy place to be. when he started school he came on in leaps and bounds. They got him toilet trained and he started talking, i used to feel so inadequate. But then I got over that and just enjoyed the support they gave me. I really rate myself as a mum and never blame myself now because I know that I will go to the ends of the earth for my kids. (Though I'm not perfect )


I'm sorry that her teacher is not so good, it makes such a difference if you can get support from school. Does she have support workers that you can bond with? Sometimes they have a better way with parents.

Mandles

lottylouj wrote: »

my dd behaviour in school is totally different from at home, the school dont believe what she is like because they say they havnt seen it.
she is isolated in school and has aditional needs they admit that but nothing more.
when she is home she is so stroppy, like a real jeckyll and hyde. it only takes the slightest thing to set her off and then the day is over before its begun.

her teacher is a useless and we have had various run ins , the school wont support a statement as they dont see the problems.

im beginning to doubt myself now and wondering if im the problem if she isnt bad in school.they try to give her work she cant do i know she must get frustrated. it feels like they only care about the high achiving kids.

has anyone else had this??

Oh what a shame. I would video her behaviour on your mobile phone to show people assessing her. Having other older kids and just going where they were put (and my ds really has been neglected at the school he was sent to), i really did a lot of research and visited lots of schools and met with lots of head teachers and pushed this time! My little boy(the one with aspergers) is now in the best school and i felt educated by how they said they are going to help him . Best of all they get funding with the statement and are also topping it up to give him 1 to 1 help constantly.

I know it is all so easy to say but if i were you i would visit a lot of schools and head teachers and maybe think about getting her moved. Some schools are horrendous. On this thread somewhere there is a post where this woman took it incredibly far as they would not recognise her childs disbility and they certainly paid for it.(i'll have a look for it). It is not your fault. Unfortunately you have got a really duff school. Don't give up!

rosie-marie

3onitsway wrote: »

He'll be 12 next month. Thinking back, i don't think his hearing was so sensitive when his first sister was born when he was 3 1/2 - not that I remember anyway! But as you say, her nagging now she's 8, and the new baby crying really distress him.

Right I see. It seems you have a few years more experience than me, and it sounds like our boys are quite similar. I may come back to pick your brains.

My daughter is going through that early teenage thing where everything is "not fair" and there is plenty of stomping feet and slamming doors :rolleyes:. I'm quite down at the moment because I feel I'm being pulled in half, trying to juggle whats best for both of them. We just want our kids to be happy don't we.

Does you son listen to music on headphones?

lottylouj

i moved her from 1 school about 12 mths ago as she wasnt at all happy and i couldnt even get her to go to school, i spent most of my life there when she did go. she has been stealing and wets herself, the school dont make a big deal of it.
in the old school they even had the community police officer out to try and explain to her that stealing is wrong. im running out of schools to send her too and i dont want to disrupt her too much. there is only just over 12 mths to go until secondary school, so come sept/oct im gonna have to choose a secondary school for her unless she does get sent to a 'special' school(looks highly unlightly now).
i have a video camera but cant for the life of me find the charger. my phone only records 15 second clips, il give it a go and see what i can get.

i still feel so lost and frustrated with it all, all i want is the best but i dont feel like im giving her the best, and i feel like she is being let down by everyone when she deserves as much as 'normal' children (i hate the word normal).
we have tried family therapy but it hasnt helped, dd is now seeing a clinical phsyc once a week, but all they are saying at the moment is what a pleasent child she is, which she can be, she can be a darling at times, but horrendous the rest.

ive ranted again lol. im just so bl***y frustrated with it all.

rosie-marie

Lottylouj - is there an Autism outreach group by you who could come to school to advise them on whats best for her. (Ours are worth there weight in gold)

Have you got a support group nearby?

Also, I know its frustrating but start by thinking thank goodness they think she's a pleasant child at school. My little boy is delightful at school with no real behavioural problems which is why he can go to mainstream school.

What kind of experience have the school got regarding Autism? Are they just muddling along with her without any clear strategies and aims?

It sounds like moving schools is more of a last option for you both - get in touch with school and possibly talk to someone other than the teacher (A SENCO maybe).

Keep ranting we don't mind.