Aspergers/ASD support thread

blue_monkey_2

Here you go.... have a read, you might find something useful.

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Legal+Advice/Legaladvicelines/thenationaleducationline.htm

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Legal+Advice/Education+law/

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Legal+Advice/Education+law/

Good luck xx

Sarahsaver

Annie H i have even had a psychotherapist say to me 'it's all your fault you should feel guilty' and a heal;th visitor laugh in my face when i went to see her because an angry DS had punched his fist through a glass pane at the age of three.
it is so worrying because I suppose there are people out there who have had such things said to them and never regained the strength to keep on fighting.
i was nearly one of them. It os so wrong that so called professionals are allowed to treat people like this.

today my sons teacher told me that all the children had done an exercise to say nice things about one another. One child said they really like my DS because 'he is SO clever but SO forgetful'
He is like an encyclopaedia that has been taken apart page by page and the pages are blowing in the wind.

Now the school knows he has 'officially' got a problem THEY asked ME what they cvan do to support him. Thought they should know. I said he needs a really clear basic structure and instructions broken down into small pieces. What else could help him being more organised? At home things like his packed lunch is always in the same place, he knows where his clothes are...as for school there are so many people and so many rules I think he just shuts himself in a world of his own. He needs to know the 'why?' behind everything. i am worried they will not bother unless he is statemented ASAP.

duchy

I would concentrate on and be thankful they are asking ! Better that than the ones who think they know....and know nothing
I actually lent my son's primary school SENCO books on Aspergers to help her get up to speed and it really did help as she was waiting to go on an Aspergers course. Should the school have been funding those books? Probably-but heck I'm not going to stand on "how it should be" when I can inform and educate someone who needs the knowledge and it will benefit my son.
One thing I suggested at that stage was to explain how noise and body proximity can be really difficult for an AS child and as a result Josh wasn't required to sit on the carpet with the other kids for carpet time but could sit on a chair at the edge. Small thing that made a massive difference -I'm sure you can think of a few that would specifically help your son-so if they are asking TELL 'em
I'm really on a high atm -I spent today following up support leads and I have a recommendation for a second 6th form that may be ideal for my son for A levels in September and I found an AS youth club !!!!! I'm so excited lol. On Tuesday he gets to make pizza or play computer games with other kids who don't expect him to make small talk but see the world as HE does.

AnnieH

I really have nothing but praise for my DD's school. the staff there are really aware of autism/ASD and although my DD is not statemented or even has a dx, she still gets half an hour 1-2-1 every week working on frienship strategies and stuff. She is certainly not the only one in her school or even her class! It too me a while to convince them, but was they twigged they have really helped her, and made sucha difference to her (and my) life.

I chose to move schools ready for yr2 and i was in turmoil about doing it as she really hates change, but her old teacher said she was a ully, disruptive etc, and when i found out she was having teh ame teacher in yr2 I took her out of that school. Best thing I ever did for her.

shazrobo

had legal advice from a solicitor, in order to get him into the special school he is at. overall its a great school, and he has come on in leaps and bounds, more confident more sociable etc.
but he still has problems dealing with other children, if he is bullied, he turns his attention to the teacherts, who he thinks its their fault for not protecting him.
this year has been bad, so far he has assaulted staff in jan, they restrained him, no police involvement, vandalised school and staff property, restrained him, no police involvement, yesterday assaulted four staff members, and they could not restrain him, as he is so big physically and so strong, and even then the majority of staff thought calling the police was wrong. the one who pressed for charges has got a sore knee because of daniel.
seeing sons pyschiatrist on mon, hopefully they can increses meds now they are getting bigger or maybe time to try something new, i live in fear some days., and i know next time the police is involved with either son, it will go to court.
try telling the police they got adhd, or asd, they not interested, they just say what he done is wrong, makes no difference what disability they got
shaz x

sarah1975uk

shazrobo wrote: »

had legal advice from a solicitor, in order to get him into the special school he is at. overall its a great school, and he has come on in leaps and bounds, more confident more sociable etc.
but he still has problems dealing with other children, if he is bullied, he turns his attention to the teacherts, who he thinks its their fault for not protecting him.
this year has been bad, so far he has assaulted staff in jan, they restrained him, no police involvement, vandalised school and staff property, restrained him, no police involvement, yesterday assaulted four staff members, and they could not restrain him, as he is so big physically and so strong, and even then the majority of staff thought calling the police was wrong. the one who pressed for charges has got a sore knee because of daniel.
seeing sons pyschiatrist on mon, hopefully they can increses meds now they are getting bigger or maybe time to try something new, i live in fear some days., and i know next time the police is involved with either son, it will go to court.
try telling the police they got adhd, or asd, they not interested, they just say what he done is wrong, makes no difference what disability they got
shaz x

OH YES IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE! When my son was first involved with the police the school didnt make the police aware of his special needs and on first impression the police saw a naughty boy who trashed the classroom and cuffed him etc although didnt arrest him or take him to the station.

When i had to call the police out last week, the police already knew about his special needs because social services and doctors have had the police make a note on their computers about my son since the last time police were involved because last time he was cuffed etc and was handled so badly, this time they handled it a lot better because they are now aware of whats wrong with him and what meds he is on etc. However, I totally disagree with schools calling the police in, there is no need for it and what can the police actually do? erm call the docs etc cant prosocute the child for acting in a way they have no control over. Not as if it was me who was completely aware of my actions and consequences and no illness or disability is it ..totally different kettle of fish.;) im sick and tired of people not treating kids with special needs with no respect or compassion at all, totally disgusting.

Im sure its Essex police who have now produced a card (size of credit card) that kids or sufferers can actually show the police should the situation of police involvement arrise, which says something like the disability and the symptoms like lack of communication or doesnt like being handled or cant understand clear instrucitons etc. Not sure if this has rolled out over all forces but fantastic idea in the bid for some sort of equality and diversity. and therefore allows the police to be fully aware of illness in order to manage the situation better and not add to it;)

peachespeaches

I suspect my 21 year old daughter has Aspergers. We always knew she was a little different. She was very quiet, reserved, only had two close friends, wouldnt talk to teachers etc. I got her referred to child and adolescent therapy when she was 14 but she refused to speak to them and they said there was nothing they could do if she wouldnt co-operate. Rather foolishly, with hindsight, I left it at that. She was always a very talented artist, and we rather hoped she would do an art course after school. She always had poor social skills/eye contact etc

She got interested in the internet and met a boy and became pregnant at 15 but didnt tell me: I found out when she was 5 months. To cut a long story short she tried to live independently with the father but couldnt, and came back to live with me. History repeated itself and she became pregnant again. I am now bringing up my two grandkids. She has finally finished with the man who was her boyfriend and is back home. She has one male friend and is heavily involved in role playing games (like war games but fantasy I think) and this of course worries me, but she wont let me into her world. Of course she has been unable to go out and get a job or do a college course. She just refuses.

I have tried to talk to her, discuss how I think she is unable to live in the adult world but she wont discuss it, just refuses to make eye contact etc.

I really dont think she can go through life like this but I am at a loss what to do.

Has anyone had an adult diagnosed with Aspergers or autistic spectrum disorder?
How do you go about it? How can I approach it with my daughter?

Snaggles

Hi Peaches, it sounds as though you have had quite a difficult time. I haven't any advice I'm afraid as I've never dealt with adults on the autism spectrum, but I know a few of the people on here have older children who are.

With the right support, many people with Aspergers (I would say MOST, although I don't know that for a fact) are able to live fulfilling, independant lives, so it is worth trying to get a diagnosis for your daughter if you feel she isn't coping at the moment. Try to be open-minded, as there may be many explanations for the things you see that concern you, and try to get her onside about speaking to your GP before you do anything.

Sorry I can't be much help, but we are here to listen if you feel you are struggling to cope.

sarah1975uk

peachespeaches wrote: »

I suspect my 21 year old daughter has Aspergers. We always knew she was a little different. She was very quiet, reserved, only had two close friends, wouldnt talk to teachers etc. I got her referred to child and adolescent therapy when she was 14 but she refused to speak to them and they said there was nothing they could do if she wouldnt co-operate. Rather foolishly, with hindsight, I left it at that. She was always a very talented artist, and we rather hoped she would do an art course after school. She always had poor social skills/eye contact etc

She got interested in the internet and met a boy and became pregnant at 15 but didnt tell me: I found out when she was 5 months. To cut a long story short she tried to live independently with the father but couldnt, and came back to live with me. History repeated itself and she became pregnant again. I am now bringing up my two grandkids. She has finally finished with the man who was her boyfriend and is back home. She has one male friend and is heavily involved in role playing games (like war games but fantasy I think) and this of course worries me, but she wont let me into her world. Of course she has been unable to go out and get a job or do a college course. She just refuses.

I have tried to talk to her, discuss how I think she is unable to live in the adult world but she wont discuss it, just refuses to make eye contact etc.

I really dont think she can go through life like this but I am at a loss what to do.

Has anyone had an adult diagnosed with Aspergers or autistic spectrum disorder?
How do you go about it? How can I approach it with my daughter?

Hats off to you peaches for being so supportive and ultimate love of bringing your grandchildren up. My son is 9 1/2 now and im 33 on Tuesday and so worry that when George is your daughters age will face the same life challenges. It must be really hard for you i totally empathise. I dont know what to say really just wanted to say hi and show my support for a tough time your obviously going through xxx

sarah1975uk

Well tomororw i should be starting my new job! and even up to tonight emails back and forth with chap from the LEA now saying the support from his 6th day exclusion is only mornings only.. when i already have a letter saying should be full time education. Cannot now start my new job tomorrow and really peed off and upset...hit the wine a bit tonight! But text my new employer bit of fibbing (because new employer and dont want to tell them ins out outs of geoges ASD) to stall things and now as of tuesday should start but now feel really upset im stalling things for what for me to have to say sorry cannot start at all now because of george! and no care for him. I want to do my best i really do but practicaltiies are that i have bills to pay and love to give my kids but professionals still giving me mixed signalls and !!!!ing me about and total contridictions on what is happening in writing and in emails. So upset dont know what to do for the best!