Aspergers/ASD support thread

quietheart

shazrobo and sarah1975uk, can't believe what you're both going through, i've got a huge lump in my throat after reading your posts. it's cruel that your children aren't getting the help and support they need and instead they're being criminalised. so so sad. really feel for you both, you'd never believe parenting could be this tough.
sarah, have you been in touch with parent partnership, they'd advise you on what to have put in the statement, or try IPSEA for help.you shouldn't have to do this on your own. schools can tend to make statements very open-ended so they can do things their way. the statement is meant to be there to protect your child and guarantee services are provided so the wording and the provision is really important. from memory i think it's section 3 that's a legal requirement, anything in section5 is worthless. best of luck.

sarah1975uk

Thanks Rovers. Im being expected to teach him at home myself whilst excluded. Just cant get him to engage its a constant battle. Im not a qualified teacher so yet again my son is missing out. Just seems lately is meetings about meetings with nothing being done or addressed correctly. Head is denying knowledge of receiving corrospondence from specialists relating to son, when other school staff have received. Very convinient eh! Seems that they are all awaiting the statement results on a way forward. So i have kicked up saying NO! this is not reliant on statment the statement will be in addition to what help he needs and should be getting now. I have had that entered into the minutes of a recent meeting. But now at a stalemate regarding even next week provision. Hopefully phone will ring today with something more positive....

Spoke to ed psych last night and she is a lovely lady so supportive. She has suggested we move my son to another school locally that can better deal with him even before statement. But the head of the new school, undertsandably is aprehensive as she doesnt kinow either whats going to be in his statement therefore cant answer whether she will able to help son either. She wants a meeting of everyone together to discuss. one thing is for sure the school he is currently at is definately not the right place for my son and if anything making his problems so much worse than they ever really need to be. He is being treated like a criminal and has a life no better than being in prison at the moment. Problem is that potentially he cant get into the new school until after easter. what the hell am i suppose to do until then. Bills are seriously mounting up as i cant go to work and am soley relying on tax credits to live on. Its just a vicious circle at the moment and i just wish someone would see logic and common sence and a teeny weeny bit of humanity in all of this. But everyone seems so far up their own !!!!!! its doing my head in.

Even if i can get this sorted out for the best of my son. I really want the head of the current school out of her job ! and held accountable and made to pay for what she has put my son and my family through. Not only for us but for every single child that has ever faced what im going through in that school. I have complained to the LEA in January by way of a formal letter, and although they are currently involved with whats going on. They havent actually sent me a letter replying to my complaint and actions in writing to deal with. Seems although the LEA have been into school on numerous occasions to discuss this matter with the head it seems all to be in an advisory capacity for the head. I really feel like screaming at the moment.

sarah1975uk

AnnieH wrote: »

The question that hit me the most (and made me cry) was "Do you grieve for the fact that she is not the same as everybody else?"

Aww Annie, Been there with that honey. Why me? Why is my son having to go through this? Is it my fault? Am i a bad mum? Why cant i deal with this any better? My life and my sons life shouldnt be like this? I beat myself all the time over this. Over the past few months i have never cried so much in my whole life. Its all so emotionally draining and yes i agree its a grieving process in many ways!

Being a parent is hard enough without the problems we face with our "special" kids........ right from dealing from the day to day outbirts and challenging behaviours, to having to deal with so much red tape within "the system" to the looks people in public when crap kicks off. and the time when im so tired i could curl up and go to sleep.. but cant because so much needs to be done and dealt with...NO MY LIFE WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE THIS WAY...

AnnieH

Thanks sarah. i just wish everyone involved in her life realised she is a special kid and not a naughty brat!! That is all i want out of this process. Is it reallytoo much to ask?

sarah1975uk

AnnieH wrote: »

Thanks sarah. i just wish everyone involved in her life realised she is a special kid and not a naughty brat!! That is all i want out of this process. Is it reallytoo much to ask?

The problem is that too any so called "professionals" dont understand ASD and associated disorders. Teachers havent got a clue they know what the disordes are called but have totally no idea what the symptoms are or how to deal with them. And to any jo bloggs walking down the street too looking down their nose at us mums and the kids.. just look as if BAD MUM ..NAUGHTY OUT OF CONTROL BRAT... and out of this nobody acutally udnerstands the reasons and why's of it all happening. my god i would not wish this on my worst enemy let alone my child. how dare these people make assumptions and discuss when they know sod all about our life for even just one second of it.

Ive even had my community peadiatrician tell me the oubursts are not classic of ASD. omg no wonder im on a daily loosing battle if even he doesnt know his job or what ASD is . god help me! Thankfully the ed psych is backing me 100%

AnnieH

yes I've been through the so-calledprefessionals trying to tel me I'm over-reacting or made to fee like I have Munchausen's or something:mad:

I'm soo glad that this woman i'm seeing now understands me and seems to agree with me. i really feel listened to and I'm glad to be getting somewhere at long long last

fallen_angel_69

I think because it's a unseen disability people don't seem to get it, it's not the child fault they are seen as being naughty people around should try to think maybe there's a reason they are being like that It makes me really feel like i'm doing something wrong when dds (1&2) have there moments and people are staring or tutting at you some days you feel like saying you try and deal with this i'm exhausted and see if you can do a better job they'd soon be saying i can't do this how do you manage.Sometimes all you can do is keep trying your best even if it's like banging your head against the wall and shouting and nagging at people to help you.I don't know whether that makes sense or not it's difficult to put down what i mean in words

sarah1975uk

AnnieH wrote: »

yes I've been through the so-calledprefessionals trying to tel me I'm over-reacting or made to fee like I have Munchausen's or something:mad:

I'm soo glad that this woman i'm seeing now understands me and seems to agree with me. i really feel listened to and I'm glad to be getting somewhere at long long last

Its a long process annie and there will be times you feel like progress is happening and you take 50 paces forward then other times you will feel like banging your head and having to take 40 paces back. Its a hard struggle it really is but you have to try and focus as best you can and fight for what you and your daughter deserve;) The whole system needs a total overhaul.. to many kids are being discriminated against and failed big time by the system. The so called "professionals" that have the power to make things right earn far too much money, do far little to help, and have the luxury of living their perfect lives in the mean time we dont have that luxury do we.

duchy

Morning all-not been around much lately due to having a fairly tough time lately (mistress of understatement me !!)
Princess Sparkle your post post made me cry. My son is 16 and at the moment we're battling with GCSEs and finding an A level placement for my son. I want to be you in 4 years time !! Well done and thank you for the hope. I'll post about my current battles later-not up to it now and I'll start crying again so instead will share some of what I've learned as an AS Mum and classroom assistant.
Sarah-that school is the WRON G place for your son. Any school that is calling the police to restrain a child and then pressing charges for assault hasn't got a CLUE !
You need a statement and then recomendation for "appropriate placement" They DO exist but often it's more about the attitude and willingness of the school to deal with the sopecial need than the training or so called experience. Is there a local autistic or aAS support group locally. If there is GO. You'll find out from other parents which schools have the skills you need far better than from any professional ! As for home schooling whilst he's on exclusion-Don't sweat it. Aspergers kids see things as black and white-school is for learning and home isn't-(which is why homework is always such a battlefield ). Teach him life-skills not academic things. Baking or cooking is great-involves numbers , weighing,fine motor skills and has a reward at the end which can be enjoyed-and is also a boost to self esteem. Learning doesn't have to be about "school subjects" and many people who home school use practical skills to "teach". I'm sure you can think of more stuff like that whilst he is home.Lots of ideas if you google home schooling sites too-just pick the stuff you like-doesn't have to be "book learning" at all so don't feel intimidated by it and in all honesty life skills are FAR more useful than say history (Eeep did I just say that? I studied history at uni !!!)

Hugs to everyone struggling-we all have good days and bad but we get there in the end.....with a little help from our friends

blue_monkey_2

Hi everyone, Shaz and Sarah I am sorry that thigs are still not sorted for your boys. I am not sure about this but... have either of you thought of going to see a solicitor. You both get DLA don't you so might get legal aid or something or maybe they can work on behalf of the children who are under 16 so I would have thought would get it free, I thought it might be worth asking, and although you are trying to get it sorted, maybe someone in a legal capacity can kick some ar se in this. Heck if kids of 14 can take schools to court so they can wear a ring and necklace there has to be some way doesn't there?? Anyone else any thoughts. Might be worth finding out if you can get a legal bod and then they would HAVE to listen!!

It was just a thought so don't flame me, I don't have anything else to offer as way of a suggestions to have a huge hug instead.