Aspergers/ASD support thread

AnnieH

Hello can I join in this thread please? I haven't read all the posts, but i have a 9 yr old DD who I think has Asperger's, and this week I have had my 1sy appointment with the Child and Family services - I have been asking for help for 7 years and I've always known there was something different about her even before i had heard of Aspergers/HFA

The lady I saw was fab and she really understood where I was coming from. I really feellike we're getting somewhere now after all my battling - I'm glad cos I had almost been worn down by it and wasn't going to bother any more

AnnieH

justontime wrote: »

As I have said before my son (13) has a diagnosis of high functioning ASD and dyspraxia. We have huge problems with his hoarding and judging by what I have found in his room this week he is getting worse. He tends to put things in containers and then the container will be in seven or eight other layers/containers so it is really hard to keep track of everything. I am not talking about stuff relating to his 'mastermind subjects' he collects really random stuff that anyone else would treat as rubbish. He hates having his room and his things interfered with and I try to strike a happy medium between respecting his privacy and avoiding a health hazard! Really his room is a full time job, he can reduce it to total chaos overnight. Does anyone else have these kind of problems? How do you cope? I have other teenage children (19 and 16) and step children so I am familiar with the usual anarchy of a teenager's bedroom, but this is on a completely different scale. It really worries me, in fact it makes me feel quite ashamed because it is so hard to cope with it.

We jokingly refer to my DD as Mr Trebus (fro Life Of Grime god rest his soul) as she hoards all sorts of random stuff like empty fish finger boxes and rubbish. The trouble is she shares a bedroom with her sister so we have to clear it all out when they are not there. I can't do it when hse's about cos it would be too stressful

shazrobo

joshua has had a total meltdown in school yesterday and has been excluded again, i dont think he is in the right school, but the right school has no places in his year, so i dont know what to do. at this rate he is going to end up being locked up, luckily staff are not informing the police which is a blessing as he has had a caution for the same kind of violent threatening behaviour before.
shaz x

justontime

AnnieH wrote: »

We jokingly refer to my DD as Mr Trebus (fro Life Of Grime god rest his soul) as she hoards all sorts of random stuff like empty fish finger boxes and rubbish. The trouble is she shares a bedroom with her sister so we have to clear it all out when they are not there. I can't do it when hse's about cos it would be too stressful

That's funny, that's exactly what we call my son! He has always done this since being tiny, but it is much harder to cope with now. When confronted there is always a reason however odd, often his weirdest behaviour is inspired by his favourite TV program Brainiacs. Some of the things I find are really worrying, this week I found well hidden bottles which seem to contain urine!!! I will ask him about it when he gets home, but I feel out of my depth, I don't know how to help him and I don't know why he does these kind of things.

Savvy_Sue

justontime wrote: »

That's funny, that's exactly what we call my son! He has always done this since being tiny, but it is much harder to cope with now. When confronted there is always a reason however odd, often his weirdest behaviour is inspired by his favourite TV program Brainiacs. Some of the things I find are really worrying, this week I found well hidden bottles which seem to contain urine!!! I will ask him about it when he gets home, but I feel out of my depth, I don't know how to help him and I don't know why he does these kind of things.

You know, I'm not sure I would ask him ...

I mean, I've tried asking my 15 yo DS3 what he was doing in the bathroom for half an hour when I thought he was showering, only he came out and went back in again to shower, but he can't answer - and he's not got AS!

I know there are some things he WOULD miss - like the safe - but why not get rid of some of the junk and see what he asks you about? Maybe PasturesNew will advise something different, but that's just what I would do as a mum.

seven-day-weekend

Welcome Lily and Annie.

Well, my son and his girlfriend have returned to the UK, it was good seeing them and meeting J*** properly. She is a nice girl and is good for him and obviously thinks the world of him. In the end that is all I want from a partner for him....that she cares about him and makes him happy.

Unlike many people with AS, our son has always had a sense of humour. However J*** obviously has problems with jokes - my husband was telling a 'story' about how the people in the next village come in the night and steal all our geraniums. This obviously bothered her, because I heard Ben telling her (quietly) that people didn't really come at night. I said to my husband we would have to be aware of this and tell her when things were just a joke as I hadn't realise how much it could worry people.

Hope it works out for them.

blue_monkey_2

Hi Lily and Annie, nice to see you on the board, you are always welcome if even to have a little moan.

It was nice to read about your son adjusting in his new school as we are in the same situation - our LL (Mother) is evicting us to sell the house and DS has a lovely school at the moment who go all out to help him, the council tell us there is nothing available here for us at the moment, so who knows. It is nice to read that your son is doing well though, it gives me some optimism.

Shaz, I am sorry to hear about your son having another meltdown. Have you been back to the doc? Do they adjust his meds or anything? I don't know what else to say, did you speak to SS again since they refused you respite?

SDW, did your son propose to J in the end, that is so lovely. At the end of the day, I don;t think it matters how old you are they are clearly made for each other and they could well be engaged for a long time rather than being together for a few months and jumping in feet first. I don;t think you ca ever tell but they clealry adore each other and it is wonderful that he wants to show that commitment to her. Bless his heart.

What I find with Ryan is that he does not understand humor at times, yet if everyone else laughs then it is a key for him to laugh.

For the rest of you with kids that are obessed with Thomas I came across this on the website yesterday:

http://www.thomasandfriends.com/uk/thomasland.html

There is a huge 'Thomas Land' opening at Drayton Manor. I have emailed them to ask about exit passes as it says you need 'official confirmation' of disability - whatever that is, so I have asked what that is and if it means we can get passes for the busier rides we might make a weekend of it as it is quite a journey for us. if anyone knows of any cheap hotels/travelodges in the area that would be most appreciated. not sure where it is anyway!!

Edit: Just seen, it;s the other side of Coventry - not really THAT far but too far for a day out. Might be nice to get a weekend away with everything that is going on at the moment!!

seven-day-weekend

bluemonkey, no he didn't propose - however he has discussed it with his dad and says he wants to be absolutely sure before doing so (which I personally think is fine).

I think it's only a matter of time though!

blue_monkey_2

Ah bless him, you must be very proud of how far he has come. They do sound like they are made for each other though

justontime

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I know there are some things he WOULD miss - like the safe - but why not get rid of some of the junk and see what he asks you about? Maybe PasturesNew will advise something different, but that's just what I would do as a mum.

Two bin bags full so far! but I probably take out at least one bin bag full every week. It really is rubbish rather than treasure. Over the years I have tried punishing him, ignoring it, bribing him, writing down rules, rotas etc. Nothing has been successful so I spend hours every week just trying to prevent him creating a health hazard. He hates me touching anything, and it causes all sorts of tantrums but if I did nothing he really would live like Mr Trebus. I can't ignore the bottles of urine, but I will pick my moment carefully to ask him about it. How will he cope when he is older if we don't control these traits now?