Aspergers/ASD support thread

LilySue

Duchy, :grouphug: , that's the nearest smiley I can find to a hug ( looks a bit strange, but it's well intentioned honestly!). I feel for you and Josh, how incredibly insensitive and immature of his Dad.

Snaggles

Duchy, that's awful - poor you, and poor Josh.

Grrrrr, bloody men (some of them anyway). They think they can just fling their emmissions around willy-nilly and walk away from the consequences when the going gets a bit tough.

(apologies to any males on here )

Carrera74

The short stay school had said at the first sign of DS struggling with the mainstream environment that they wouldn't hesitate to take him back in. The Head at Mainstream said when she excluded him last week that the short stay weren't taking referrals anymore and would only take permanent exclusions. I rang the LEA on Friday for some advise re the referral and they advised that DS wouldn't be accepted as a referral as he now has a statement so appears to be getting the help he needs! They said the only way he'd be able to go back was after a permanent exclusion!! so now i'm worrying that we'll have to go through what we did last year with DS really struggling and going into meltdown every day at mainstream. He had been brewing since going back full time in November but the last 2 weeks he's been really anxious. I can see him going into a downward spiral So i'm wondering. I'm thinking of going in to mainstream tomorrow and asking about a permanent exclusion so he can be referred back to the short stay school before he deteriorates any further and he gets more anxious but i'm also wondering if this is the best idea or just see how he gets on when he goes back in a week. He is currently undergoing the ADOS screening. Just waiting for the results as the SALT did her bit on Tuesday last week which was the last bit of the assessment and his case now goes to the next panel. Should hear back in 6 weeks. I'm just so desperately worried that before we get this assessment what my DS may have to go through at mainstream. Last time it took a long while to get his self esteem back and confidence.

Can anyone advise if he was permanently excluded how this would affect his application for high school in September? .

Savvy_Sue

Carrera74 wrote: »

Can anyone advise if he was permanently excluded how this would affect his application for high school in September? .

I think a supplementary question to this would be "Do you want him to go to a mainstream high school in September?" If you do, then that MIGHT be a reason for avoiding an exclusion, but if you don't, then I'd say you have nothing to lose. But I would check with IPSEA or Parent Partnership first. TBH I don't know that a school will WANT to do a permanent exclusion because records are kept of that, and a school might not want to have any.

I think you've considered withdrawing him from school and doing Home Ed - would that be a better way forward, at least for now?

Another thought would be to contact the high school you would like him to go to, and ask them what their policy is. It might be that secondary schools are not allowed to consider exclusions when offering places, although clearly if a child with special needs has been excluded then knowing what provision is needed to meet their needs is kind of important ...

An afterthought: have you thought of contacting the Short Stay school and asking for advice? I'm not saying anyone's not telling the truth, but is it possible that the Short Stay school will be able to either take him if they ASK for him, or suggest other suitable provision?

Carrera74

Thanks for that. I wondered if the mainstream school he is in now will permanently exclude him after a 5 day fixed exclusion but if he continues as he has done they'll have no choice eventually anyway. The only reason he didn't get perm exclusion last year was because he got a place at short stay. All the people involved have agreed that he will not cope at mainstream high school even the high school SENCO where he wants to go said that their school would not be the best place for him. I am in the process of making appointments at various schools, both mainstream and independant. I guess it will depend on the outcome of the ADOS whether he'll go to mainstream or not? Then again if the specialists are saying he won't cope at mainstream now surely that will still be the same whether he is diagnosed on the spectrum or not.

I'll give the short stay school a ring tomorrow and see if they can offer any advice. I've only heard what they can and cannot do via the LEA parent liason chap and the primary Head so you never know they might be able to help with something.

I've not thought about home education as me and OH both work full time and unfortunately neither of us can afford to give up work for any amount of time.

Savvy_Sue

Carrera74 wrote: »

I've not thought about home education as me and OH both work full time and unfortunately neither of us can afford to give up work for any amount of time.

sorry, must be confusing you with someone else!

LilySue

Carrera74, reading your thread I agree with you about phoning the short-stay school, especially since they said they would take him back if he is struggling in mainstream. Maybe because your son is known to them it will make a difference with the speed in which they can help you, I hope so for you and your son, I know how tough it is when you are struggling with schools.

jodie

Hi all

My 10 year odl son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome on Monday after a very long battle to get him a diagnosis.

Long story cut short, 4 years ago we were told he was autistic but would need it to be diagnosed through the proper channels (this was by the Senco teacher and SALT at his school), he was on list to see EP but we moved from london to Hertfordshire and the new school were not keen for my son to see the EP and I fought them for a long time, the current SENCO teacher has been no help for my son at all. I found out last year that I should go to the GP to get a referal for a development check so done this and then the ball started to move quite quickly, my son had the assesments he needed and in January the school finally got him a slot with the EP.

The school have neglected my son and I am unsure what to do about it, the people that diagnosed my son said what the school had done is wrong and I need to make an appointment to sit down and go through the report once I get it, I feel the SENCO teacher just wouldnt take me seriously and past teachers have backed me but she just wouldn't listen.

I ahve been told my son will not survive secondary school the way he is now so I need to get him the help he needs ASAP as I have to pick a school in September.
Can I get him statemented and if so how do I go about that?

Any advice would be great, I was prepared for them saying he was autistic but not for him having Aspergers so am trying to find out all the info possible.

Oh and I have been told to claim DLA for him but I kind of feel that I shouldnt, does anyone else?

tilly's_mum

Hi Jodie

Your local Education department should be able to offer advice on getting your son statemented - in my area we have a parent partnership which can offer independant advice. Our education department has family liasion officers who can go around local schools with you and offer advice too.

Your local carers centre may run a support group for families of children with Autism and Aspergers - useful to go and talk to other mums, they will tell you about local schools more honestly!!

You really should claim DLA - its hard to think of your child as having a disability and the things you do for him you do as his mum. But by claiming DLA not only will your family get more money (you may also be able to get carers allowance) you should be able to get more help (you may not feel you need it now but you may do in the future) as he has been assesssed as needing help. You may be able to get grants for equipment or holidays etc. And it may help in the statementing process.

The National Autistic Society have some good books and leaflets about Aspergers - your local carers centre may also have books you can borrow for free!

Cerebra have produced a really good booklet to help you fill in the DLA form -http://www.cerebra.org.uk/parent_support/DLA_guide.htm - you can download it or they will send you a paper copy.

Hope this helps

Cheryl

Savvy_Sue

I agree: if you need to give your son more help because of his AS than you would if he didn't have it, you should claim DLA However I would advise getting help with the forms, it can be very hard to do it the way it needs to be done ...