Aspergers/ASD support thread

fsdss

sarah1975uk wrote: »

Hi ya the point of me being threatened with being arrested. My point of saying i didnt feeel safe taking DS home from hospital as my son had reacted un predictably violent by almost stabbing me and the fact i have his twin sister and younger brother to consider in all of this too. They said if i didnt take him home they would call the police to bring him to my house and the police would arrest me for abandoning him and neglecting him. What a joke, makes me sick to my stomarch to think of it.

i think you were misled- the advice you were given was inaccurate- you have the safety of your other children to think about, considering what had happened previously. so therefore you were in a catch 22. i would take legal advice pronto just to see what your legal position is.

sarah1975uk

fsdss wrote: »

i think you were misled- the advice you were given was inaccurate- you have the safety of your other children to think about, considering what had happened previously. so therefore you were in a catch 22. i would take legal advice pronto just to see what your legal position is.

This was my whole argument with social services. When DS had his episode last week he was admitted to a general ward for his and our safety. Now obviously being a general childrens wasnt ideal but as an emergancy measure it what was done by the CAMS Consultant. The hospital ward nurses etc arent properly trained to deal with DS should the worst have kicked off, so although they agreed to take him they were concious that he was to be discharged at the earliest opportunity. Now school say they cant deal with his violent un predictable behaviour oubursts and that he poses a danger to pupils and staff. Doctors and professionals all agree on this danger. However it seems quite ok to pose the risk to myself my family and my other 2 children. Seems totally outragous that this is the case. The professionals say there are secure type places my son could be placed until things calm down and the correct strattergies and help is put in place, but it costs a lot of money and is a long way from where we live even if a bed was available. Social services wont offer foster or respite or safety placement for my DS and obviously strategies put in to place with school etc up to this point obviously arent working and they are at a loss what to do for the best. In the mean time i have the risk at home 24/7 but thats ok if he stabs me or his siblings just not obviously alright if its someone else! Totally beggards belief.

At the end of the day yes the hospital kiddies general ward was not the right place for DS but neither at that time was being at home, so finding a bed was not my problem and im not a professional these people should have done the rgiht thing at the begining.

And the high level of unpredictable at times violent outbirsts DS has, community pedicatrician is now saying may not be aspie or ASD spectrum behaviour when all other including himself have already confirmed he ticks most of the boxes of these diagnoses's Also throughout my DS Medical/Educational records it says since the age of 2 to now (he is almost 10) ASD/ASPIE/Autism/ADHD. Although no formal diagnosis is forthcomming at the moment. You and i all know you NEED the diagnosis to get anything close to resembling help and support and proof of how much things have escelated to a serious crisis point shows help is needed NOW not in another 10 years time when they manage to get their acts together.

Snaggles

Oh, I was crying reading that Sarah....they have no idea how much it hurts to see your child like that, do they. Abandoning him???? :mad: :mad: Grrr, I can't even say what I would like to say because the swear filter wont let me.

sarah1975uk

Snaggles wrote: »

Oh, I was crying reading that Sarah....they have no idea how much it hurts to see your child like that, do they. Abandoning him???? :mad: :mad: Grrr, I can't even say what I would like to say because the swear filter wont let me.

ive been crying almost every day, i cant take much more of this, seeing him restrained in school and seeing him in such an awful state when he looses the plot and my family having to live day to day not knowing what will or will not occur even in 1 day kills me it really does. I wouldnt wish seeing any child in the state my son is in most days. And the thought one day ill be gone and he will have nobody to love and support him like i do. The impact this is having on my other 2 children too is emense. Friday when my DS was in hospital my DD (his twin sis) cried when i took her to school she said mum i miss him but im scared to see him incase he stabs me too.

I wish i had a magic want to make this all go away, i dread what the future holds we have been let down and failed in so many ways. Even now at nearly 10 years of age DS has the strength of an adult when at high end episodes, that now im struggling to control, god knows what he will be like in a year or 2 time if the system lets us down even more.

fsdss

sarah i'm going to pm you with a local solicitor who specialises in children. i'm sure she will give you a free half hour appointment as she is legal aid too, she travels northants too so if you are the opposite end of the county - i'm sure she will meet you at a location (usually a court).

she helped my brother too years ago (he is autisic and highly charged!!) and got some balls rolling - it might be worth giving her a try to see if she can set you straight with your and your families rights.

i am not related to her - but i know her through my profession and she is highly regarded.

sarah1975uk

fsdss wrote: »

sarah i'm going to pm you with a local solicitor who specialises in children. i'm sure she will give you a free half hour appointment as she is legal aid too, she travels northants too so if you are the opposite end of the county - i'm sure she will meet you at a location (usually a court).

she helped my brother too years ago (he is autisic and highly charged!!) and got some balls rolling - it might be worth giving her a try to see if she can set you straight with your and your families rights.

i am not related to her - but i know her through my profession and she is highly regarded.

Thank you so much. just got your pm very helpful and makes me feel a bit more enpowered. I just replied to your PM too xx

Savvy_Sue

sarah, can I also suggest that when you feel you have the strength you contact PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) at the hospital and tell them what happened, and ask that NO parent in a situation like yours is ever spoken to like that Ever Again. It's not a formal complaint mechanism, but helps change things informally, IYSWIM.

shazrobo

sarah1975uk wrote: »

This was my whole argument with social services. When DS had his episode last week he was admitted to a general ward for his and our safety. Now obviously being a general childrens wasnt ideal but as an emergancy measure it what was done by the CAMS Consultant. The hospital ward nurses etc arent properly trained to deal with DS should the worst have kicked off, so although they agreed to take him they were concious that he was to be discharged at the earliest opportunity. Now school say they cant deal with his violent un predictable behaviour oubursts and that he poses a danger to pupils and staff. Doctors and professionals all agree on this danger. However it seems quite ok to pose the risk to myself my family and my other 2 children. Seems totally outragous that this is the case. The professionals say there are secure type places my son could be placed until things calm down and the correct strattergies and help is put in place, but it costs a lot of money and is a long way from where we live even if a bed was available. Social services wont offer foster or respite or safety placement for my DS and obviously str

ategies put in to place with school etc up to this point obviously arent working and they are at a loss what to do for the best. In the mean time i have the risk at home 24/7 but thats ok if he stabs me or his siblings just not obviously alright if its someone else! Totally beggards belief.

At the end of the day yes the hospital kiddies general ward was not the right place for DS but neither at that time was being at home, so finding a bed was not my problem and im not a professional these people should have done the rgiht thing at the begining.

And the high level of unpredictable at times violent outbirsts DS has, community pedicatrician is now saying may not be aspie or ASD spectrum behaviour when all other including himself have already confirmed he ticks most of the boxes of these diagnoses's Also throughout my DS Medical/Educational records it says since the age of 2 to now (he is almost 10) ASD/ASPIE/Autism/ADHD. Although no formal diagnosis is forthcomming at the moment. You and i all know you NEED the diagnosis to get anything close to resembling help and support and proof of how much things have escelated to a serious crisis point shows help is needed NOW not in another 10 years time when they manage to get their acts together.

my sons have both got a diagnosis of adhd, and still social services will not offer respite, luckily for me daniel's school that he is at now is a resedential one, so only have him weekends and school holidays.
my son was in a general kids ward too, and as he escaped and threatened staff, he had a security guard at the end of his bed, daniel thought is was cool that he had somebody to play chess with
don't know if you have a partner or not, i'm bringing my two up alone, and like you said nobody thinks of the risks the families of these children face, especially in trying to protect other siblings

fsdss

sarah1975uk wrote: »

Thank you so much. just got your pm very helpful and makes me feel a bit more enpowered. I just replied to your PM too xx

i have just pm'd you back about an autistic family support group which you may be able to access - there's a whole bunch of professionals there (free of charge i believe) inc doctors / play workers etc to assist- if anything they would probably be best for guidance and access to services.

sarah1975uk

Just taken ds to school for an hour. Hes not talking today, and making noises grunting flapping and shuffling a lot. Have come home myself to have quick cuppa and get ready for the pre arranged appointment iwth community peadiatrcian at 10am. he was in the meeting yesturday so already im on the defensive but really trying to keep an open mind. Also have got the replacement ed psych comming to my house at 2 again pre arranged appt, not really happy now her comming home as ds will be here as school hours been cut again. and if he hears us talking it is liable to flip him out.