Aspergers/ASD support thread

sarah1975uk

blue_monkey wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Sarah, I am so sorry to hear about your week but today sounds like things are starting to get a step in the right direction. I've everything crossed for you.

I read something in your message that made me wonder about Ryan too. When he has a tantrum or cannot get his way over something he will spin around, flap and babble, I've not noticed shuffling as he will throw himself to the floor or spin on the spot, is this the autistic stuff that the doc mentioned? I was not sure, I just assumed it was his way. I have noticed that if having a bad day he starts speaking in this language I cannot understand, but he does not do it all the time. Is this something I should worry about??

Doc told me its all part and parcel of Autism/Aspie traits. DS speach has never been good but has gotten worse as he gets older. He speaks as if hes a 3/4 year old, the babbling and noises isnt all of the time but he does do it every day. Nothing seems to trigger it it just happens. He flaps and shuffles and babbles a lot of the time tho. When you see DS he looks like any regular 9/10 year old just heartbreaking to see him when hes flapping shuffling and the baby talk some times i cant understand him at all and when he goes off on one that is often uncontrolable. He often for no reason will wave his hand in my face and just say hello repeatedly or say guess what...hello bizzare i know. He cant tell me how he feels or why something has happened etc etc or engage in a conversation about something. its like broken sentenses often running off in a tangent of babble about something totally unrelated etc. or just one word answers to even the most simple questions.

autismmum

its a way of restoring control ... if we have a problem understanding the world, we might do something that we know has a predictable out come... like if i say hello, someone will say hello back etc its going back to familiar patten when stressed or needing to restore control.

seven-day-weekend

balmaiden wrote: »

Apologies for not reading this thread through, but I am hoping someone may be able to tell me if my concerns are justified.

My 6 year old Grandson is a very well behaved polite and loving little boy and to my mind seems reasonably bright. i.e there is nothing he doesn't know about superman,batman,powerangers etc.

However at school he has totally shut down. My daughter was told last week that he is now so far behind the other children he needs extra help, fair enough, but the teacher also says he has no friends doesn't mix and is totally in a world of his own.

The reason I have come onto this thread is because I have noticed since he was a baby he has what I would call obsessions. When aged about 8 months he would sit for hours putting a toy car in a shoe and taking it out again.He went to a birthday party the other day and lost a piece of a toy from the party bag, he spent two hours searching the garden for it, oblivious to the other children and despite the fact that my daughter promised to replace the item the next day. His latest is "reading" the Argos book, again for hours at a time.He dislikes his hands being dirty and gets quite upset if he can't wash them for any reason.
That is a brief snapshot of him. Am I right to be considering autism or is he just a boy who prefers his own company, that is how it would have been described in my day. Oh, and one other thing, he says what he thinks and doesn't seem to realise when it is not appropriate.

Obviously it takes somebody with far better knowledge than, Grandma, to diagnose this. I guess what I am asking is should this be left or should my daughter seek some sort of help?

I personally with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight would have him assessed. It can't do any harm.

My son is now 28 and Asperger's wasn't recognised when he was young. We thought he was intelligent, articulate, quirky, obsessive, lazy at school (please Lord forgive me), he had peculiar likes and dislikes (wouldn't even sit near a CLEAN ashtray), didn't and still doesn't feel the cold and will wear a teeshirt in the snow - he wanted friends but only ever had one, a lad as 'odd' as him.....

We all now know (him included) that he is on the Autistic spectrum with AS. If he'd have been diagnosed when he was young, he would maybe have had the specialist help he needed at the time.

I'm not saying your grandson is on the spectrum but imho it won't hurt to find out.

Hope this helps and please let us know how you get on.

blue_monkey_2

Thanks sarah,

Yes, I guess so. I do know what you mean though, even at this age it is hard to watch him revert to all this baby stuff and when he wakes up in the night screaming and rocking I cannot understand anything tht he says or calm him down to know what the problem is/was.

In regard to the toilet thing, Ryan will use a different loo to have a wee but very rarely will he use one for a poo. He will just hold it in until we get to home, even on holiday he will wait til we get back to the hotel/room as he sees that as 'home' for that time.

Savvy_Sue

fsdss wrote: »

i didn't mean that duchy's advice was not good - i believe it was. i just highlighted her points to try and get grandma not to label him.

thanks for that, I was a bit surprised by your first post (3.13 pm) which almost suggested that there wasn't anything to worry about at all, and then I cross posted with your later post. I agree that it's not necessarily helpful to label a child: my starting point is that if there are problems, then those problems need to be addressed. And we both think duchy gave great advice ...

mrs_moneyspinner

I just wanted to say I found this surprising - my 9 yr old diagnosed aspergers, autistic spectrum disorder etc had a very fast birth (they all thought it would take ages and it didn't) we had trouble getting him out and he was vontouse - not sure spelt right ... it seems that these kind of births are associated with these special children - i was asked a lot about the birth and couldn't see the point of it all until reading this.

fsdss

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

thanks for that, I was a bit surprised by your first post (3.13 pm) which almost suggested that there wasn't anything to worry about at all, and then I cross posted with your later post. I agree that it's not necessarily helpful to label a child: my starting point is that if there are problems, then those problems need to be addressed. And we both think duchy gave great advice ...

i suppose its because its part and parcel of my job, i say this - almost all of my referrals are from parents who "diagnose their own children" prior to any assessment - i'd say 95% of the time there is nothing wrong with the child at all. because of the broad spectrum of which autism can show - the diagnostic tools can also fit a child to whatever a parent wants it to be. in fact if we all looked at the tools for diagnosis - we would all fill up to half a dozen boxes ourselves if that makes sense.

balmaiden

Many Thanks to all who replied to my post.

Can I firstly say that I would not dream of labeling my Grandson, only on an anonymous site such as this would I raise concerns.

My daughter is begining to question his behaviour, coming up with different things which she feels are "strange" about his behaviour. She has not mentioned autism but I think she is thinking along those lines. I will not voice my opinions to her until she asks my opinion, which I think will be soon, and then only to be supportive.

I wanted to have a clearer idea in my head of whether his behaviour was "normal" and she should allow the school to deal with it as they saw fit or whether she should ask for him to be assessed.

S.D.W I have to say that the words you used to describe your son when younger, are just the words I would use to describe our darling boy. Thank you for that post.

sarah1975uk

Hope everyone is ok today. Had yet another meeting with school and others today. Went ok basically updating where we are now. School wont agree to increase in hours just yet, want to wait to see if medication helps DS. Was mentioned that potentially could have duel school placement until statement is through between current school and school im wanting him to go to. Got to take my other too kids to see the school tomorrow am and will hopefully have a more definitive answer as to where we are on the idea of duel placement for DS,however the other school attended and mentioned funding because of his 1to1 etc hes already got band e funding, dont know how much it is or what that means in respect of is it adequate for sons needs. Think the medication is starting to kick in now, DS mentioning he feels tired a lot more. He had a pretty good day at school today, no major upsets just a few minor blips that school managed. I got a call froom my new employer and been agreed that i will do a few hours a day in morning whilst george is in school to start week after next. Still taking things day by day but i really hope that things are on the way to getting some sort of resoloution and more positive outlook for DS and us as a family.As for Valentines im having a BAH HUMBUG. had a row with DH this morning so god knows what things will be like when he comes home from work. Got flowers and card last night as mornings he leaves early etc. Strain of all this starting to tell and feel like its just 2 people living in one house with the kids not husband and wife.

fsdss

sarah just pm'd you with that number for the support group