Aspergers/ASD support thread

PasturesNew

This week I have found out something hideous....

I don't get jokes!

It's always been there on the Aspie list, that we don't get jokes. "Oh no, not me" I thought. "I get jokes. I'm intelligent. I laugh a lot/all the time. I can't tick that box".

It turns out I was fooling myself. Somebody said something and I queried this point. And they told me "how I am" and I realised "I don't get jokes".

So I asked somebody else that I've chatted to online for 5 years and met on about 20 occasions. And he confirmed it. I DON'T get jokes. I am just simply not aware of them.

So it's not like "Knock, knock" "Who's there" ... answer .... "ha ha ha". I can get those.

It seems if I am looking for a joke/expecting one, then I might be able to spot it. But if it's just dropped in, then nothing. Totally oblivious to it.

So I checked today with somebody else who has known me about 5 years online and has met me twice in real life. And he answered honestly and said that last time we had met he had been telling a LOT of jokes - and he said I had been completely oblivious. Completely. He said I could make jokes, and do - and they're good. But if somebody else does, then I just don't realise.

Oh dear

It's like now I am aware and checking things, I'm not who I thought I was. Can you imagine waking up one morning to find out you are somebody completely different ... it's not "you" any more. It'd be like, say, being twins separated at birth, then like a TV film suddenly swapping bodies. And you're in there but it's not you.

Savvy_Sue

Is it not rather that you don't get NT jokes very easily?

DS1 first laughed at this joke:

"Why do bank managers carry briefcases?"

"Because briefcases can't walk."

:rotfl:

Carrera74

DS had his second ADOS screening appointment at CAMHS last week. Oh it was awful. I hated being sat behind the glass and watching him. He sat there for over an hour and didn't make eye contact with the psychologist once! He had quite a few things to do and the SENCO explained that they are looking for certain things. It was really clear that when he was to use his imagination to make a game/story up with toys that he struggled. It was painful to watch him not having a clue what to do The last thing he had to do was brush his teeth with an imaginary toothbrush using the imaginary toothpaste and sink. He spoke in great detail how to do it but didn't make any actions at all. You could see him going through the motions in his head but his hands were clenched. We go back next week for a history and then we wait another 5-6 weeks for the results. The psychologist rang the LEA and said the hours he is getting at the moment are not sufficient and he needs the extra hours now not when or if his statement is changed to ASD from behavioural/social SN. She also said he won't cope in a mainstream high school. That's going to be fun trying to explain that to him. He has got his heart set on the school where the rest of his class are going to.

I keep hoping for a diagnosis but then hope that it's just behavioural and something I can fix.

Carrera74

DS loves jokes too. He has lots of joke books and can be very comical and funny but I wonder if he'd get a joke if he wasn't aware that it was one.

blue_monkey_2

Hi everyone,

Well all seen very quiet at the moment - praying that is a good sign. ccarrera, bless him, I hope that things get sorted soon for you DS - do you know how long you will have to wait for more answers?

We are pretty quiet this end apart from the usual. Been getting more night terrors this week for some reason.

Put DD on a swimming course starting tomorrow as I need her to have something for herself. Of course Ryan wanted to go so sent DD and DH off this afternoon to get Ryans present for his birthday on friday and took him up to the pool. Well, you would LOL if you coulf have heard me. I asked that if he did not go in could I have a refund becauase.... and explained that he always asks to go but then once he gets in and we are by the pool he will not get in. Of course, he refused to go in and so took him back to get dressed and then he refused to get dressed, I think he wants to go in but it soo scared to get in. I enquired about private lessons on Saturday so someone in the know can coax him in but they are £16.50 for a half hour lesson!! So that is out of the question really. But at least he is going to be worried enough not to cry tomorrow when Mya is having her lesson. DD is soooooooooo excited to be having a swimming lesson. She was up at 5.30 this morning tell me she had one day to go, LOL!!

Managed to get a Roller Coaster Mountain set for Ryans birthday - he is going to be so excited, that is all he goes on about but I got the set for £25 rather then just the mountain that is £27 on it's own. I have done that from Mya and she is excited to be giving him that.

Nothing else yet on the housing situation. Sent an email to my MP outlinging what is going on and how we need Ryan to stay at this school, etc.. and that the council are messing us around, thought an explaination of his condition might help and I explained that the school have been fantasitic and have put him on an IEP and have been giving him special help, etc.. and - well, you would not beleive this - but the very next day he had a leaflet come around saying that he has a special interest in eduction for children who have special needs and that he helps families. So fingers crossed he might step in to help, always positive until we hear otherwise. I am trying to get an appointment to visit his surgery in 2 weeks time so wish me luck.

I cannot beleive Ryan is 4 this week. You know I spend some time watching him and some days it feels like there is nothing wrong with him, then when writing this message he has woken and is kneeling on his bed crying, rocking and waving his hands, pointing his fingers together, he gets out of bed and spins around while crying and he cannot be consoled, won't let me touch him - that is not right is it? Anyway, nearly time for Lost. Catch up soon, hope everyone else is well and looking forward to the joy of half term!! x

Snaggles

Good luck with trying to get the appointment BM - it's awful what you are having to cope with.

Carrerra, I completely understand your mixed feelings about wanting a diagnosis, I was (and am) exactly the same, but I knew in my heart what the diagnosis would be. I hope you get the extra help he needs.

trubster

Hi everyone, Sorry I havent posted in a while.

I am just after finding out if anyone has had any problems with getting a "Mobility Pass", My son got approved for DLA Higher care and no mobility entitlement as he is only 2, we applied for a "With Carer" bus pass from Sheff CC and got approved for it, BUT I took the letter to the bus station and they said they can not issue a mobility pass as they are designed for ppl who need assistance getting out and about and they said a 2 year old would need accompanying anyway. They also said there system would not allow them to issue it,

The matter has been referred to the SYPTE Head office, and they said they will have to follow the same precedent set by a earlier case but they were unsure what the outcome was.

Are they really allowed to do this as the council said he is entitled to a carer pass as he is classed as having a "Severe disability" under the transport act .......,...

Finally, is there any other parents from sheffield that would be able to point me in the right direction of a special needs nursery for my son?

Thanks for your help & keep up the great posts

Kev

mspig

hi all thought i would pop on as my son is being assessed at the moment at manchester carol Kendrick unit for asd.

We have had neurology done, and seen every specialist going trying to get a diagnosis as to his problems as not only does he have learning difficulties but he has mobility probs aswell.

He's 4 at the moment and has just started school in Jan as he would not go to nursery without screaming the place down for the entire day and the fact hes got an obsession with numbers and they just couldn't understand when all he wanted to do was to read numbers.

After a long battle with the disability weve finally got a yes to disability but only at the middle rate for care only, but until we have a proper diagnosis i suppose thats all we can ask for.

Things can be quite stressful with him as he hates going out and trying to do usual things such as shopping is a nightmare and i was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to help with the temper tantrums.

any advice would be greatful.

trubster

MSPIG, I would query the disability decision as we were given it without an assesment, they said they used "Information from your claim pack"

I would ask for a review but take note of all the guidance notes given on the National Autistic Society's website

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1561&a=3773

Not the exact link but if you have a look around the site, recomplete the form and ask them to use the information in the new form to review the descision

All the best

Kev

blue_monkey_2

Hi MsPig,

I tend to ignore the tantrums tbh, Ryan gets strapped into the shopping trolley and I walk with him at arms length or pulling the trolley so he cannot kick or hit me. If he has a tantrum I tend to strap him somewhere secure but we just avoid going out really if I am honest. Today when we left the pool I just put his top on and left him half naked (he was dry) as he refused to get his clothes on. I think you have to do what you feel right about doing and for me it is to keep a calm head and just let him get on with it until he has got it out of his system. Here if something does not go right and, for example, if he is setting his trains up he will turn and smash the whole thing up. I let him do it, get it out of his sytem and then will help him set it up again if need be. Interferring in his tantrum makes him 3 times worse and makes it go on 3 times longer so I have learned to switch off and let him just have his tantrum. If he throws himself on the floor then I will pick him up and carry him to where I need to go (be he is getting too heavy to do this and I probably get some looks going 'rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' as I am trying to lift him as it is getting nigh on impossible with my bad back.

more recently we have found getting out of the bath a problem, if it is not the right time for him to get out and we get him out he screams wanting to get back in - he will get back in with clothes on, if we empty it he will try to run another and get in or scream in the bathroom, quite hard when you are trying to settle them down for the evening but we have to just let it run it's course as best we can.

I wanted to say that you made me realise my son has an obbession with numbers too. He gets to the school and has to go up the hopscotch thing counting the numbers, he will have a counting book for bedtime and he got a counting book from the school library too. My son was the same as yours with going into Nursery and this is why the school gave him 1:1 help, he would get in and hide under the table. The TA really helped and now he goes into school no problem. He is only there for 2 hours but the TA really did make a difference and now he is happy to go in on his own.

I did mention before, i do sometimes wonder if everything he does is in my imagination, or if I am expecting too much from him, but when I write it down I realise that there is something there.