Aspergers/ASD support thread

D&DD

Hi Dk and welcome
Well done on securing the funding for a private diagnosis but I think its so sad that you haven't had any support so far as such...
Many of our kids tend to introvert when they're not coping at school and sometimes it lets them slip through the net as they're not hyper/loud or causing the school/class any problems...
The first step is the assessment which will then give you a clearer picture of any difficulties he faces then you can begin to plan accordingly.Best of luck to you Dee XX

dk67

Thanks Dee.

I agree, I wish he could speak up for himself and verbalise what he wants and needs.

but ... when he does make himself heard at school it is always in the wrong way as he finally snaps and lashes out...

i am also concerned as there have been occassions he has been caught with boys who have cannabis. i would be silly to say he has never tried it but he would never say if it wasnt him and just take the blame...

anyone got any thoughts on this...

and should i wait til the assessment for requesting a school action plan/statement? he has never had one

thanks so much

D&DD

I think what frustates me the most with 'the system' ....*where do I start really* is the fact that most schools/lea's won't even start the ball rolling for a statement without a diagnosis/label..
If a child tends to have difficulties but has learned 'coping strategies' i.e. shutting down and being invisible in class,they very often slip through unnoticed until it gets to the point where they just can't cope anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear your LEA have failed you and your son so miserably..is he on school action or anything at all at the moment?
When is your assessment??
I would be tempted if it is soon to put in a request now for a statutory assessment of SEN I posted a link on here somewhere for the letter you can take in to school

dk67

no he is not even on the school action plan. yet they are trying to do whatever they can at his new school.

they referred him for a CAF meeting last week. (Child ?Action Framework) but they told me today that unless he engages there is not much they can do!!!

that is what i am always being told = meanwhile the years slip by...

Ed Psych saw him when he was 12 and suggested a Psychiatric Assessment. This was denieed as they say a Psychiatrist saw him at a Family Therapy session (where he refused to engage and just looked at the floor!)

I feel we have failed as parents. This has been a battle . Yet every now and again you get someone come along who says 'yes he does have a real problem.' yet nothing gets done or finalised.

at the exclusion panel from his last school, they upheld the decision to exclude him but begged all present to do whatever possible to help him............

he does not engage with the Adolescent Outreach worker or CAHMS.

CAHMS seem to be waiting for him to suddenly say 'please can you help me?'

as his mum i know this wont happen - he will rather burn himself out that do that!

i really worry for his future.

the assessments are at the Learning Assessment & neurocare Centre in Hosham in the 2nd week of Feb.

Anyone heard of them?

D&DD

no experience of them but googled and it looks like the right sort of place as they deal with a range of things
You so haven't failed as parents!!! You've spotted he needs help and hopefully now under your own steam and your persistence will get him some help.It might be hard for CAMHS to engage him but bl**dy hell surely thats what they're there for just makes me so cross..all the time they spend passing the buck,they don't realise how valuable it is for our kids :mad:

dk67

ah thanks DD&D!!

how kind of you to take the trouble to google that!

do you have an autistic child may I ask?

Snaggles

Welcome dk67. I just had to post to say it's so sad that you feel you have failed as parents, because even from reading the couple of posts you have made so far, it's so obvious that's not the case. You sound like fantastic parents actually. I hope the assessment goes well and you are finally able to get some support.

D&DD

Yes DS3 has Autism amongst other things (the list seems to be growing daily!) He's 9 but I feel much the same as you so much time is slipping by and we too have been banging our heads against a brick wall trying to access help for most of that time!
The last year things have finally started to come together for us but he's just not coping with anything at the moment..

Have you ever kept a diary of your son's behaviour? This may help when you go for the assessment,they often see things we don't,triggers etc.
Are you having the all day asses or the shorter one? Have you got any questionairres to fill out before you go?
lol full of questions sorry!
Looks like they're quite thorough so hopefully they'll pick up on anything causing problems.

Snaggles

We have discussed Ryan's diagnosis with him - just the basics because we don't want to overwhelm him, but at the same time I didn't want him to overhear things and start worrying that he is sick.

We read a book together about Aspergers Syndrome recently, and when I told him today that that's what he has, he said 'Of course, I already knew that because I am exactly like that boy in the book we read with the blue cover'!

I'm so glad I can finally give him some answers. He has been aware for quite some time that he is 'different', and he seems pleased to have a name for the things he feels. I'm sure he wont always accept this 'label' so readily, but for now it seems to have given him some reassurance at least.

Snaggles

D&DD, I do admire you - you are coping with an awful lot, but you always seem to manage to keep a sense of humour about things, and always have the time to help others. :A