Aspergers/ASD support thread

PasturesNew

rovers wrote: »

Would it be better for you if there was an Aspergers/ASD Adult Support thread as well?

Not sure if this is a behaviour of my condition, but my natural response is to say: "No thanks. No need. No need to do something just for me. I'll be OK. No worries. I'll just sit here quietly"

I've never pushed for anything. Never known how to ask for anything. And overall I tend to just have the attitude of "I don't want to put anybody out" and I melt into the background.

Now I know of Aspergers, I am thinking this whole side of me might be rooted in my behaviours. If you've spent your life with communications problems and not wanting to stand out, you kind of sit back on things.

rovers wrote: »

I can understand how you feel as there are two distinct groups posting. People could then follow one or both.

I am not sure how many other adults there are here with it. I have problems keeping track of individuals/who is who/etc. I read the posts themselves and can't tie up the people to the posts yet. Probably another behaviour ... damn this thing is hard. Trying to work out what's me, what's AS. Maybe I am just naturally pants at following online conversations.

rovers wrote: »

CAMHS recommended I read Simon Baron-Cohen, the Essential difference - I've done the emphathy and systemizing quotient tests - I scored maximum empathy wise and minimum on systemizing. I'm sure this makes it more difficult for me and my asperger's son to communicate. Having a dx has helped me enormously, I'm taking it less personally so that's helped him loads. Onwards and upwards.... for now at least!

At the moment I haven't read anything. That would mean going to a library... and that needs a couple of months' lead up/planning. I am finding a lot of issues with my unitasking. I can only do things when my mind is clear of other things. And at the moment my head has in it 31 January as I have to do a tax return by then and so it is difficult taking on new things until after that date.

kit

I have just found out about a welfare benefit helpline run by the NAS. Might be useful for people on here as it sounds like they know their stuff. Its a phone and email service.

Details are:

Jonathan
Welfare Rights Adviser
NAS Autism Helpline
0845 070 4004
[EMAIL="welfarerights@nas.org.uk"]welfarerights@nas.org.uk[/EMAIL]

Savvy_Sue

PasturesNew wrote: »

Here's something I've wanted to post for a while, but it's difficult because of what I am about to say.

I feel like that Alcoholics Anonymous moment when I have to stand up and say "Hello, my name is ... and I am an alcoholic"

I quite often find it hard to "join in" here, even here I feel estranged. Odd. An outsider. I think it's because so many of the parents here are not AS and it's all so huggy/huggy and supportive, which as an AS person isn't something I can do/understand.



Just thought I'd sort of throw it in there.

Hard to know what to say to you really, would you feel better if we were all mean to you? Because I'd find that REALLY hard. I don't know how we'd get on IRL, but I do find you talk an awful lot of sense here, and you show great sensitivity too.

You know, there was a post from you somewhere else last night, the young lad who was asking if it would be possible to get married before finishing his university studies, and I did a double take when I read your reply, because it was not just sensible, you came across as really caring and sympathetic. It was just the right thing, I thought.

I don't know why I should be so surprised, really, because the chap we share this house with can also sometimes say JUST the right caring thing, even though at other times he is honest to the point of brutality. And he has no idea ... NOT the kind of person of whom I would ask "Does my bum look big in this?" :rotfl:

I'm waffling. I don't know how the other Aspie mums find our huggy side. I think the rest of us find your presence very helpful - our young children can't articulate things we need to hear, and I can't articulate the questions in a way which make sense to DS1, even though he could articulate his replies quite well - assuming he could remember! He says he has no long-term memory, so he blogs to make up for it!

Anyway, if we keep our hugginess virtual, will you stick around please?

fallen_angel_69

just a quick update panto programme is now at birmingham hippodrome still in envelope with correct postage on it he is still there till sunday have sent them an e-mail explaining what had happened at signing and all about dd2 having asd asking them to get it signed or just send it back to me not signed they have not replied back to me but at least they have programme and information Will give it a few days or so to see if it comes back signed or not then will get in touch with barrowman website by sending a letter and asking for signed photo for her School on friday helped her get over it she went in and told kids she had seen john barrowman and he signed mummies book and we went to the panto again thanks again for details and advice

hope everything is ok with you and you are not getting to stressed out trying to do everything at once

justontime

PasturesNew wrote: »

Here's something I've wanted to post for a while, but it's difficult because of what I am about to say.

I feel like that Alcoholics Anonymous moment when I have to stand up and say "Hello, my name is ... and I am an alcoholic"

I quite often find it hard to "join in" here, even here I feel estranged. Odd. An outsider. I think it's because so many of the parents here are not AS and it's all so huggy/huggy and supportive, which as an AS person isn't something I can do/understand.



Just thought I'd sort of throw it in there.

I have thought about your post for a while before replying. I think I can see what you mean. I do not have AS but I am not a 'touchy feely' sort of person, I am fairly self contained and I find it hard to join in. That is why for me this forum is so important, because I would never go to a support group or anything like that. I had to push really hard to get an assessment for my son, but as we were going through the assessment process I had an overwhelming urge to stop the whole thing because I was convinced they would say it was all my fault. When the psychiatrist and the psychologist had the final joint meeting with my son and explained the diagnosis they said that I was supporting him very well and it was a relief to know that his problems were not my fault. Since then I haven't really had any support and I really struggle with certain aspects of his behaviour. In the short time that I have used this forum you have done more to help me understand my son than all the professionals put together, and I am very grateful for that. Perhaps we (the non AS parents) are not always able to respond in a way that is comfortable for you, but your contribution is extremely helpful. Please don't give up on us.

chardonnay_2

blue monkey - i'm sure my brother went to the dore in edinburgh. i know it was expensive but i'm not sure how often he went (i think every 3 months). they would get printouts of his progress on their tests and h had exercises to do everyday. he has dyselxia (my mum thinks we all did, including my dad, although my brother had the worst symptoms) and was having trouble at school. after about a year he was off their charts and could stop going although my dad does say he isn't sure if just maturing helped him.

PasturesNew

Mirrors.
Odd things, mirrors.

I've always seen my reflection, and noticed how my eyes seemed blank.

I've tried to "see" inside the head I can see in the mirror. I've always been aware there's somebody trapped in there. Sometimes I have reached out and touched the mirror for a couple of seconds.

These are very strange/isolating moments. I've always known I was in there, trying to get out. And never knew others were different. But never understood the feeling I was getting.

It's like staring at a recording of yourself on a TV screen, staring back. There's no connection.



Random, but I tried to put it down into coherent words.

It's like living inside an invisible bubble, a suit. You recognise yourself in a reflection, but you feel there's a different you somewhere. But you don't know where or how to be like everybody else.

Ellie2758

rovers wrote: »

This might be a tad controversial but have any of you experiencing sleep problems with your child considered melatonin? My son was prescribed it a few years ago because he was so anxious during the night none of us were sleeping and it was a major problem. The melatonin worked straight away and he went from waking upto 40 times a night to just a couple of times and now usually sleeps through. GP's can't prescribe it only paediatricians as it's unlicensed.

Yes,she's been on melatonin for years but she still doesnt need much sleep.

Unlike me :rolleyes:

D&DD

Pastures New I do hope you continue to post as your thoughts make a lot of sense to me and help me to understand how my son is seeing the world

Shazrobo I'm so sorry you aren't getting any help with respite..have you a carers centre locally?They often know the route to getting help with this.

Snaggles

PasturesNew wrote: »

Mirrors.
Odd things, mirrors.

I've always seen my reflection, and noticed how my eyes seemed blank.

I've tried to "see" inside the head I can see in the mirror. I've always been aware there's somebody trapped in there. Sometimes I have reached out and touched the mirror for a couple of seconds.

These are very strange/isolating moments. I've always known I was in there, trying to get out. And never knew others were different. But never understood the feeling I was getting.

It's like staring at a recording of yourself on a TV screen, staring back. There's no connection.



Random, but I tried to put it down into coherent words.

It's like living inside an invisible bubble, a suit. You recognise yourself in a reflection, but you feel there's a different you somewhere. But you don't know where or how to be like everybody else.

Goodness PN, it's more than coherent - it's beautiful in quite a dark way. I too hope that you continue posting, as your insights are often very moving, and help me understand some of how my son feels.