Aspergers/ASD support thread

Savvy_Sue

studentphil wrote: »

I think the striking thing with so many disabilities is that once you hit 16 you stop being disabled and you leave school and that is it. That is life and in everyone's eyes you should be able to be normal like you disability no longer exists.

No, I think the difference is that when you hit 16 you no longer have a statutory right to an education, and no-one HAS to give you a job. That makes life more complicated because whatever you CHOOSE to do you have to navigate a potential minefield of whatever help is available, and it's not always easy to find out what is available and relevant to you.

Not that it's not a minefield prior to that either ...

Chollita

Yes, I've seen my doctor, who has referred me to the Mental Health Team(appt in a couple of weeks). That should be fun ... in Spanish ...

Chollita

I also urgently need to find some work from home, as I don't qualify for Soc Sec here, and this is one of the things upsetting OH (quite reasonably), that all the financial pressure is on him. My doctor has said that I am in no fit state to jobhunt at the moment, so homeworking is my only option. I really want to be making a contribution to our finances, and keep myself occupied.

Trouble is, even with all the advice on these boards about homeworking, I just don't know where to start. My head is a bit of a muddle.

Just not doing very well at the moment

Thanks for the hugs. It feels like I have been fighting and struggling for so long ...

studentphil

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

No, I think the difference is that when you hit 16 you no longer have a statutory right to an education, and no-one HAS to give you a job. That makes life more complicated because whatever you CHOOSE to do you have to navigate a potential minefield of whatever help is available, and it's not always easy to find out what is available and relevant to you.

Not that it's not a minefield prior to that either ...

I see what you say there, however, if you look at research there is almost nothing going on about disability in adulthood and so you can get the idea that professionals think disability doesn't exist past 16 as they seem to have little interest in adulthood.

NoahsPennilessMummy

Samf1971.......i have the Mac Major Elite....had to get one for ds when he was 3 and he still has it now at 4 and a half...it is supposed to be ok till about 8 years.....ds can walk but is not safe to be allowed to walk as will not hold hands when walking about....i have used it on grass and beach and it has been fine....they are expensive tho but sometimes they are on Ebay and also some health authorities help with the payment( so i am told....i had to fork out for it myself.

samf1971

Thanks for that info about the mac major elite, I think from looking around is it that there is just the major elite, it's not like there's a major and the elite is a better model?

He's used to the three wheeler which I love with it's swivel wheel is so easy to push & I guess part of me thinks that I don't like the look of the mac major as it looks "special needs" if you know what I mean, which DH thinks is daft as it's just like a big buggy

What I do think is wrong about the major is that all the accessories are extras, when you go to say Mothercare for your regular buggy the sunshade, shopping basket, raincover is included as part of the package, but they're all separate and v. expensive.

The social worker did say to me that I should let her know if I want one though as she can get help for the cost of it - also said that I could probably use one of theirs to try out before I buy type thing to see if I liked it

forgot to add DS is exactly the same - will not hold hands so it's a safety thing rather than him needing it for difficulty walking, oh and sometimes that he'll just sit down and start crawling!:rolleyes:

sarah1975uk

Morning Everyone Hope everybody is doing ok. Just wanted to update you about DS and what’s happened since last posted.

I went to visit a new school for DS on Friday, the school was lovely so welcoming and had such a different feel to the current school, made me want to cry. The children looked so content and as the head teacher walked me to every single room of the school talking me through everything, I saw all of the children. Children were stopping the headteacher as we walked around and she was so hands on with them giving them lots of of her time and cuddles etc, was like a sort of home from home environment but at school if you know what I mean.

The school is typically a mainstream school but with specialist DSP integrated children (specialising in Autism). It has different sets in each year group ranging from typical 25 child+ class groups right with 2+ teaching assistance in each class right down to the classes that children need lots of help, one of the classes that I saw had about 9 children in it, 1 child was with 1 teacher another the same and 1 teacher with 7 children. Each child is taught on individual needs, not just blanket stereotype help.

I told the head about my son and what the history of what been happening is. And was told I have to wait for the statement to come through if I nominate her school it will be sent to them too and they will evaluate what they can do to accommodate my son in their school. I don’t see their being a problem there is really high end autistic children there so feel confident they can help me and DS. They also have space for my other 2 children as well, but im torn at the moment whether to move all 3 at the same time or just DS.

I spoke to the learning mentor at the current school and she is such a nice lady so supportive and helpful. She has said that unofficially she wouldn’t have her kids go to any other school other than the new school I viewed as it’s so good and such a good reputation. Her own children went there and her children have done really well. She also said that I have been really let down with very little support and said she will do all she can to support me personally, which was really nice.

Feel a really bad mum now that I never found this school years ago, just goes to show how different schools are eh.

Also had a phone call from current school this morning, DS not having a good day bit stressed was ok when we left for school but gone down hill when at school. They didn’t ask me to collect him but being stressed over not being able to cope, has apparently sneaked his Nintendo ds into his school bag (I didn’t see it) and is sitting in isolation in the classroom on his own with his 1-1 teacher fixated on the Nintendo DS, omg got to pick him up at 1150 (as on part time schooling at the moment) and dreading what I am going to be walking into, hope to god he hasn’t trashed the classroom again ;( Got a meeting this wednesday with the school and all the professionals involved at the moment with regard to my sons progress and future, have also typed up notes for this for what i want for my son which im also going to use for my views to send for the statement pannel, can someone take a look at it for me that knows what i should be including and not including? dont want to post just give me a shout if ok to email to someone here?

studentphil

When I have spoken to AS people I think they are very lucky that don't tend to feel a rage and a feeling that teachers, schools, colleges and so on should be punished because they didn't support them correctly. I have found that some disabled people have these very strong feelings that someone should be punished for their experiences and they feel this for many years after leaving education.

PasturesNew

I think AS people wouldn't feel rage or that somebody needs to be punished because the brain process is logical and therefore not of the dramatic "sue them!" mindset.

It's all those non-AS people that get their panties in a twist. AS just want a nice quiet life thank you

PasturesNew

A forum like this is hard. Anybody reading it might judge that anybody on the scale is peculiar.

If you met me face to face (in the right environment!) you'd think I was great. Intelligent, knowledgeable, helpful. You'd confide in me, knowing confidences were kept. You'd seek out my advice, knowing I'd be understanding and try to help. You'd give me important work to do, knowing nobody could do it better or more diligently. You'd remark how I did anything to such exceedingly high standards and so fast.

I am resilient, very confident at making my own decisions and acting on them. People admire me for what I've achieved, as they say it "all on your own".

But then you might start to notice, that my topics of conversation are very limited. I have quite a few odd fears and am not over-keen to do certain things, taking me out of my comfort zone. My opinions about personal matters are very rigid.

I say I don't like doing some things and won't be persuaded to try them. I am not adventurous, don't like group activities, or noisy places, am very twitchy/anxious.If you suddenly knocked on my door and popped round for coffee you'd find me leaping about making sure you put the coffee down on the rightmat, along with extended reasons of why.

Everything I do has a very extended reason as to why I do it that way. You get my entire thinking and reasoning process for it being 'right' to do it that way.

If you ask me a small question, it can take me 10 minutes to finish answering as you get the entire history of the event (weather's bad - and I will go through the weather for the last 2 years!).

IQ of 163. Highly competent. Yet trapped in an alternate universe, running alongside yours.

As is said, Aspergers people TRY to fit in, we just fail to.

Odd.