Aspergers/ASD support thread

studentphil

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

I was at secondary school in the 80s. This stuff has been known about since the 50s. It wasn't taken seriously then, mind. As I said in my previous post, they did what they did out of ignorance. I am angry because their ignorance caused me pain and suffering over a period of 7 years. Had they actually listened to me, rather than assume, they'd have realised that they were wrong about me in so many ways. I am also angry because they don't appear to have changed much. I had to contact them for my old school records for diagnostic purposes. I spoke to my old form tutor/head of 6th form. She's now the deputy head. When I explained why I was calling and what I needed, she still didn't understand. She repeated the same old !!!! to me that she'd come out with 20 years before. Phoning and speaking to her was hard enough, without having to hear the same crap I'd heard for 7 years of my life.

Here's an example: My interest in the Russian Revolution, Stalin, etc was translated into "She thinks she's Josef Stalin re-incarnated"...that's the sort of !!!! they told my parents. I'm an Aspie....I'm not !!!!ing mad and delusional.

That's just balls, so by her logic anyone who likes anything or anyone thinks they are it- how stupid.

I think though you can never go back and only forward so to forget them is best.

sarah1975uk

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

I was at secondary school in the 80s. This stuff has been known about since the 50s. It wasn't taken seriously then, mind. As I said in my previous post, they did what they did out of ignorance. I am angry because their ignorance caused me pain and suffering over a period of 7 years. Had they actually listened to me, rather than assume, they'd have realised that they were wrong about me in so many ways. I am also angry because they don't appear to have changed much. I had to contact them for my old school records for diagnostic purposes. I spoke to my old form tutor/head of 6th form. She's now the deputy head. When I explained why I was calling and what I needed, she still didn't understand. She repeated the same old !!!! to me that she'd come out with 20 years before. Phoning and speaking to her was hard enough, without having to hear the same crap I'd heard for 7 years of my life.

Here's an example: My interest in the Russian Revolution, Stalin, etc was translated into "She thinks she's Josef Stalin re-incarnated"...that's the sort of !!!! they told my parents. I'm an Aspie....I'm not !!!!ing mad and delusional.

It is a really tragic situation that although we have the known labels and effets about many disorders now. that even to get the minimum amount of help in this day in age is a long winding uphill struggle. There is far too much ignorance and not enough patience and understanding. So many people are put down and written off and not given enough credit or help with the special gifts and strenghths that everyone has inside them.

MyUserNamesTaken

sarah1975uk wrote: »

It is a really tragic situation that although we have the known labels and effets about many disorders now. that even to get the minimum amount of help in this day in age is a long winding uphill struggle. There is far too much ignorance and not enough patience and understanding. So many people are put down and written off and not given enough credit or help with the special gifts and strenghths that everyone has inside them.

That's one of the reasons why I fight so hard for my son. I went through !!!!...I will not let him go through it too. He was diagnosed at the age of 6. I have been fighting for his right to a decent education, without ignorance and prejudice the entire time he's been about. I said earlier that Aspies are introverts or extroverts - I'm lucky in that I am an extrovert Aspie...I have always been a fighter and always will be. If I believe I am right (which is most of the time, as I am very logical - makes arguing with me very interesting ), I will fight and fight without stopping until I get what I want. When I was younger, I often lost my temper and hit out (and when I lost it, I really lost it....was completely unaware of what I was doing until afterwards. Then I'd get extremely embarrassed about it and break down in tears). I was also very small for my age, so got bullied for being "shorty". It didn't matter how big or tall they were, I would fight if anyone picked on me. In Primary school, I remember repeatedly punching a girl in the face after she'd accused me of pushing in the hot dinner queue (totally illogical to me, as I had packed lunch). I also had a fight with someone (the most popular girl in the school, no less...hard as anything and a year above me) for accusing me of cheating when playing marbles. I don't cheat! Rules meant everything to me.....and cheating was against the rules. That one caused a meltdown. As said earlier, I still fight, but not in a physical way. I have other ways of fighting now. People don't normally win an argument against me. I have an excellent memory and can repeat conversations verbatim. This means I can and do trip people up with their own words. I am extremely logical to boot...and this makes it even harder for others to win against me. The only problem is that my son is exactly the same as me, except he went straight to verbal arguing without going through the physical fighting stage.

shazrobo

bm, my sons have a sniffing habit too, them sniff everything before they'll eat it, and they are always snifing toys

Snaggles

Arrrgghhhh, CAMHS have just rung - they haven't managed to get the info they need from the school because they have been leaving messages and school haven't rung them back. :mad:

So I have just rung school and left another message, although the person they need to speak to isn't in until tomorrow. They have told me that providing they can speak to the school this week, they will discuss Ryan's case in clinic on the 21st and will ring me then.

I am shaking with terror, frustration, and 100 other emotions that I can't quite put my finger on.

PasturesNew

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

I was at secondary school in the 80s. This stuff has been known about since the 50s.

I didn't know it was known about since the 1950s. I thought it was little-known until the late 80s.

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

They got the Ed Psych in to see me.

I remember in my final year being able to miss PE and go sit in a room with some woman and 3 others for group chats. Which were a farce. Nobody said much.

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

They made me sign an agreement that I would not lose my temper again,

I had this, but after 2 teachers attacked me behind the dining hall and I turned on them and fought them off.

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

having almost strangled someone when I was in the 2nd Year (I'd been badly bullied and finally flipped out).

I never did anything like that.

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

Failure to stick to the agreement would mean automatic expulsion from school.

They tried to get my parents to sign one of these after the 2 teachers started on me. It was withdrawn when my mum said my version of events and it was checked.

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

In the 6th Form, I was not allowed to stand for school council election, as they felt me too unstable

The school wouldn't let me stay to 6th form - and, quite frankly, I wanted out. I went to secretarial college for 2 years instead.

But as I said, I thought it wasn't well-known about until the late 80s.

I just looked. There was a paper written in 1981. One paper doesn't mean it was well-known. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Asperger

And look: International Aspergers Day!! Next month.

We should all get together and stay in for that

sarah1975uk

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

That's one of the reasons why I fight so hard for my son. I went through !!!!...I will not let him go through it too. He was diagnosed at the age of 6. I have been fighting for his right to a decent education, without ignorance and prejudice the entire time he's been about. I said earlier that Aspies are introverts or extroverts - I'm lucky in that I am an extrovert Aspie...I have always been a fighter and always will be. If I believe I am right (which is most of the time, as I am very logical - makes arguing with me very interesting ), I will fight and fight without stopping until I get what I want. When I was younger, I often lost my temper and hit out (and when I lost it, I really lost it....was completely unaware of what I was doing until afterwards. Then I'd get extremely embarrassed about it and break down in tears). I was also very small for my age, so got bullied for being "shorty". It didn't matter how big or tall they were, I would fight if anyone picked on me. In Primary school, I remember repeatedly punching a girl in the face after she'd accused me of pushing in the hot dinner queue (totally illogical to me, as I had packed lunch). I also had a fight with someone (the most popular girl in the school, no less...hard as anything and a year above me) for accusing me of cheating when playing marbles. I don't cheat! Rules meant everything to me.....and cheating was against the rules. That one caused a meltdown. As said earlier, I still fight, but not in a physical way. I have other ways of fighting now. People don't normally win an argument against me. I have an excellent memory and can repeat conversations verbatim. This means I can and do trip people up with their own words. I am extremely logical to boot...and this makes it even harder for others to win against me. The only problem is that my son is exactly the same as me, except he went straight to verbal arguing without going through the physical fighting stage.

A damn good job your son has you, such a credit and that your not letting Aspie get the better of you. I know its not easy even on a good day.

My son does that can be quite placid but god when he is fixated with an idea or something isnt quite to HIS norm or understanding he flies big time to the state where he doesnt realise what he is doing at the time. He cant express himself as in i can ask a question about something like, this afternoon we watched together the film After Thomas, i was trying to understand better Autism myself as im new to this and find it all so daunting, really wanting to help my son the best way i can. I also want as much understanding of the condition to best help us all too really. I asked him questions about the film as in how he felt and what did he think about it, his REPEATED answer was I DONT KNOW! no emotion or anything. The film broke my heart but wow what a fantastic film. Really want to try and understand how he feels and to get on his level to better understand him. His level at the moment is that he wants to be sponge bob square pants or a hamster (as i recently brought him hamsters to help him communicate better) bless him hes 9 1/2.

PasturesNew

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

I said earlier that Aspies are introverts or extroverts

I am an introvert one. I don't like to bother people, I'm all right over her. No, don't mind me. I never ask for anything, never get my rights. Daren't/wouldn't know how. And whenever I HAVE tried to ask questions, if I am stuck or don't understand, I find nobody can see/understand that I am asking for help. So it's back to staying quiet in the corner for me.

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

... I will fight and fight without stopping until I get what I want. ... I often lost my temper and hit out (and when I lost it, I really lost it....was completely unaware of what I was doing until afterwards. ... It didn't matter how big or tall they were .... I still fight, but not in a physical way. I have other ways of fighting now. People don't normally win an argument against me. I have an excellent memory and can repeat conversations verbatim. This means I can and do trip people up with their own words.

I don't do that. As for remembering conversations, I can't. I've always said I could never be a lawyer because I couldn't tie up the pieces of information right then to come back with the reason they were lying. Instead, the pieces would fit together the next day when I'd be able to construct the perfect 'close' to the case in my head! But never on the spot.

I can't argue or debate because I simply can't receive the incoming information and process it quickly enough to seem like a reasonable contestant.

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

Maybe our situations are different. I was at school in the 70s. This stuff wasn't known about at all. It just didn't exist.

I myself have ONLY just found out in the last 3 months about Aspergers. Never heard of it before at all. Never knew about it. Still finding out about it. And I am late 40s.

I went through hell from age 8, doctor/tablets; age 12 psychologist and changing schools. Schools not wanting to keep me. Discussions asking me to leave. But if it's not known about, nobody was at fault.

My son, at school in the 80s and 90s - he is now almost 28 - was not diagnosed either as AS was not recognised. Although they did make him an appointment with an Ed Psych who was very nice and said that Ben was very much a 'square peg in a round hole' (which if you think of it is a good description odf AS). It wasn't until about two years ago, when two people quite unconnected with each other asked in the same week if Ben could possibly have AS, that I started looking into it. He ticked most odf the boxes. We mentioned it to him, and HE thought he ticked most of the boxes.

His girlfriend, who at 20 is 7.5 years younger than him, has been diagnosed for some time. So those few years made all the difference.

Ben doesn't want a formal diagnosis, he thinks he will be 'labelled' and that is his decision and I respect it. But knowing he almost certainly has this condition has certainly made things a whole sight clearer for me!

I think I too may be on the spectrum.

PasturesNew

sarah1975uk wrote: »

I asked him questions about the film as in how he felt and what did he think about it, his REPEATED answer was I DONT KNOW! no emotion or anything.

I watched that. Nothing. As I couldn't see "me" in him, mentally I switched off. If I had been younger I'd have not even bothered watching the rest.

Empathy/understanding of others is on the scale. If I don't feel my situation is like the characters then it holds no interest. In fact it's annoying as you look at one portrayal to think that others watching just that one item will think everybody's going to be like that.

I think it would be quite a dull and pointless film for a child to watch. I know I had trouble watching to the end. In fact, as I often do, I missed the actual end.