Grandparents want to take my son out of school for week next year

-taff

Why can't she take him before September? Or in the half term holidays?

maman

Definitely don't give in to her on this.

I think it was a mistake to give in to her demand for facetime when it was so inconvenient and so she could try to drive a wedge between you and your son.

I'd agree with others that you need to be strong and stand up to her or she'll just keep on chipping away.

So tell her he's definitely not going on holiday in term time. It's hard for your son but I'd tell him that his nan's got it wrong (or whatever you think he can understand at age 8) You could say: the law has changed since his dad was at school and he can't have time off for a holiday when he should be at school because it's illegal. Tell him that parents get fined for breaking the law but it's not as simple as deliberately doing the wrong thing and paying the fine. His school is generous and he has 13 weeks a year for holidays so he doesn't need extra.

Good luck.:)

bouicca21

September is a really bad time too - I remember missing the first week of school once in around Y3 - it was horrible as when I went back, everybody else had settled into the new class and I had no idea what was going on.

This is spot on. Happened to me too. You get back and everyone has chosen their seats, knows how everything works. Makes you feel like Billy Nomates. OK, it doesn't last for long, but while it does, it's truly horrible.

mattpaint

I'm really confused - your son is living with your mother and previously lived with his father? Why are you the primary carer when you're not doing any of the caring?

74jax

mattpaint wrote: »

I'm really confused - your son is living with your mother and previously lived with his father? Why are you the primary carer when you're not doing any of the caring?

The way I read it, the son is off to her mothers or 3 weeks over the summer holidays whilst she settles in with the house.


The dad also had his son for 3 months, I'm not sure seeing as the child is 8, that counts towards her not doing any of the caring?

GreenQueen

Presumably if you are moving 20 miles away, you son will also be starting at a new school - another good reason why he needs to be there are the beginning of term.

pjcox2005

Just as a side note is there a typo on 20 miles? A lot of people, me included work considerably further away from home than that.


Not to say the move wasn't right, particularly with timings of drop off etc at school, more just pointing out I don't see it as an issue in Dad/Grandparents still regularly seeing their son/grandson unless they have mobility isssues or perhaps heavily rely on public transport. I therefore wouldn't bow to any pressure they exert making it an issue.


All my parents/in-laws are further away then that and have no issue calling in, babysitting etc.

Fen1

The fact that MiL is even considering taking the boy on holiday during term time, let alone at the beginning of the year, raises a red flag. Does she not value education? Doesn't she think that taking him out at the beginning of the year will disadvantage him? Being flippant about paying the fine indicates her moral values. Her attitude is poor.

OP needs to put MiL in her place immediately.

Sea_Shell

You say September but also refer to next year.

Do you mean next 'school' year, or Sept 2020?

katie4

I would tell her where to go! No way would i let my son go away with a) a woman that hated me b) a woman who sounds very manipulative c) she could feed your son a load of bs about the situation


If she wants a relationship with your child she first needs to build an amicable relationship with you and get over the fact that you're no longer with her son