My 25 Months Challenge

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Just snook away from my desk to have a breather - it's another tough day in work. I've lookied at the holidays I'm owed. I need to give a month's notice and would then be paid for time worked for that period ie notice today would mean working and paid to 14th July and then 4 days holiday. I'd need another salary equivalent then by 20th August approximately. Mortgage fix comes to an end next year too...

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

And breathe! There are no new jobs to apply for (I check daily). I have an email to send tonight so I will do that. It is a step. Another step will be doing the next module on my course. Bay of e will help if I can sell some things now. These are today's goals. I absolutely must!! Get up on time tomorrow to make a start on the day for things for me - only I can change this.

Nichelette

Hi Stripey, I have been very lax with my own diary but I remember yours from last year. It's strange we're actually quite similar in a lot of ways! I too have been struggling with sleep lately, and my MH has had peaks and troughs since this whole situation started. I don't think I mentioned before but I have struggled with it since I was about 8 or so. It's very prevalent in my family so I know how hard it can be sometimes, but it's good you're trying to make positive changes.

I also basically stopped going out, which wasn't very healthy either. Ditto with the weight - I got brave a couple of weeks ago and weighed myself, oddly I have been doing it on a Friday too. I started doing C25K a few weeks ago and I'm actually really starting to enjoy it now having previously hated exercise full stop. I'm not suggesting you take it up, but even some walks out are positive. I got a bit of anxiety almost about going out and it really wasn't helping my health so I'm trying to do some positive things. Re healthy food - I'm veggie and my food bills are pretty cheap. If you like things like eggs, beans, lentils etc they are all pretty affordable can sometimes take the place of meat which would save you a bit in the long run or give you extra for other healthy stuff. Good luck, you're doing well . 

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Thank you Tahlulluah & Nichelette. I really appreciate both your posts but it's a bit fiddly replying properly on my phone. Our food bill is pretty good overall - although I did buy us a treaty tea on Sunday after a bit of an emotional day. I do need to start running again - health issue is preventing this just now - hopefully my stubborn side will kick in at some point and I'll just get on and do it.
Tahlulluah - your words are very kind but I do worry about what if I'm not good enough for the job I'm training for / applying to? Eek! 
I was going to post earlier & then changed what I wrote. I've basically been at work with my stomach in knots all day & have found it so hard to be motivated. This won't get better. I am not happy there. For a long time, career wise, I felt I was drifting. A good while ago - maybe over a year?  I started to look into what I'd need for the job I'm working towards now. A few unsupportive comments weighed on my mind & I didn't feel good enough to continue to apply. I cannot change the past. I cannot continue as I am in work either. At the moment I can only see the option of handing my notice in & living on savings (not a lot) until I find something else. A huge risk given mine is our only income & how the job market is now.
I cannot have holidays over the next month - and I don't know if just the 4 days I have would be enough of a break from work either.

savingholmes

I have said this before Stripey (and done it myself in the past). In your situation I would speak to your GP and get signed off work. That will give you some breathing space. If you are not on tablets already (I am)  I would look into getting some. I would also investigate counselling options. I am thinking of doing the latter for myself too. Most of us are finding this period really hard - we have peaks and troughs - think we are coping, have moments where we seem to be crushed to the floor and then rise again - it's a rollercoaster. Nothing is as we anticicpated - and on top of that you were already unhappy in your job before... 

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the advice you would give a friend. Speak to your GP. My book of the week is 'Figouroutable'. If you are not already an audible member you could get it as an audio book for free. It makes good listening. 

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Hi savings thank you for your post.
I hope you're ok?
I'll send you a message tomorrow if that's ok?

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Hello all, sorry for yesterday's posts - I know they're quite down - but I also felt it was important for me to put down just how stressful & upsetting work has been. Today work has been no better.
Plan - pull my socks up & get on with it. I was up a little after 6am today (not early enough) alarm set for tomorrow - just need to make sure I get up!
Complete module on course before work. 
Work on application.
Work - go through list of jobs, diligently, with a bit of energy & focus - I will feel better for completing all these tasks.
It's a later finish tomorrow so, if there's time to then more work on my application. 
Cook the leftovers for tea.
Hope all are well, I've enjoyed reading diaries.
Now to sleep well & feel refreshed & energetic tomorrow!

savingholmes

Hi Stripey - no need to apologise you are using the diary for what it is designed for - to vent and try and sort money out along the way. You will get there. Be kind to yourself.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

emergency fund: £3/£1000
weight loss 0/3st 8 3/4 or 40 3/4 lb increase 19/06/2020 weight loss target now 3 stone 10lb and 1/4
list to sell 15/500
Mortgage Balance £48,179

Priorities:
Complete course (initial) Completed   
Sign up for second course (advanced) Signed up (paid for) and nearly ready to start 
Apply for dream job to clarify is dream ish job. Somebody tell me off if I've not started this tomorrow

Hello all, well that was a shock from the scales - i've eaten better but not moved much!
First course completed and will start the next one tomorrow i hope - i have to work so will see. I remembered I had set up a new emergency fund so that has been updated too.
Balance on card now £772.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

emergency fund: £3/£1000
weight loss 0/3st 8 3/4 or 40 3/4 lb increase 19/06/2020 weight loss target now 3 stone 10lb and 1/4
list to sell 38/500
Mortgage Balance £48,179

Priorities:
Complete course (initial) Completed   
Sign up for second course (advanced) Signed up (paid for) and nearly ready to start 
Apply for dream job to clarify is dream ish job. Somebody tell me off if I've not started this tomorrow

Feel free to tell me off - I didn't start the new course or the application for a new job.