Son in trouble - advice appreciated

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

Nope ... i really mean "talking sense" .... Kids are underestimated these days, partly because of the incessant peddling of responses like those in this thread. Parents scared to let the kids develop, preferring to wrap them in cotton wool instead. It is an insecurity in the parents that is detrimental to the children development.

'Talking sense' in your world.
Not the world of the majority of posters on this thread.
And quite possibly not in the world of the OP now.

I wonder if the OP now regrets his decision to allow his 5 year old to develop by allowing him out on his own. :think:

svain wrote: »

If kids were still empowered and encouraged to have some independence at a young age then we would have a far more resilient younger generation with much better coping mechanisms of living life, problem solving, dealing with adversity and the anxiety that comes with it, all without having a meltdown and the resulting medication dished out at the first sign.

Yes.
I can see how the OP's child feels 'empowered and encouraged' by the freedom given to him by the OP whilst he's begging his Dad to lock the doors in case they come.
Very empowering.
Very encouraging.
"Dealing with anxiety"?
I'd say that the empowerment and encouragement have actually fostered anxiety rather than dealing with it.
I'd say that a 5 year old begging his Dad to lock the door in case they come is pretty close to a meltdown.

svain wrote: »

The fact that you think a 5 year old is not capable of crossing a small road is ridiculous

The fact you think children can only play/spend time with their own age group is also ridiculous

I think the experience of the OP's child proves that neither of my statements are 'ridiculous'.

DrivingMissDaisy

To the OP - you've gotten an answer to your actual question. Hope it works out for you.

For the rest of off-topic discussion, please note this is quite common in forums where people have a need to express their opinion. It's only human nature.

I wouldn't read too much into all of it, as long as your confident in your parental techniques, please carry on as is.

System

Kim_kim wrote: »

I expect if the OP doesn’t pay up the car owners will be forced to go to the police in order to get a crime number for their insurance.

I expect the police and social services (social services are always involved when the police are involved in cases to do with children and families) will want to discuss parenting with the OP.

Police and social services. Lol. This is some children playing that got out of hand, not Lord of the Flies. Jeez louise.

flanker6

Pollycat wrote: »

I was the same age as the OP's child in the late 1950s.

I didn't go out on my own at that age either.

I was a kid of the 70s. My parents were more protective than others that I lived near . . . but even I was allowed out on the estate, over the stream and to the park at 5 years old. It was commonplace and widespread.


Back in those days, parents also did NOT walk their children to school . . . and that was about a 15 minute walk!

svain

flanker6 wrote: »

I was a kid of the 70s. My parents were more protective than others that I lived near . . . but even I was allowed out on the estate, over the stream and to the park at 5 years old. It was commonplace and widespread.


Back in those days, parents also did NOT walk their children to school . . . and that was about a 15 minute walk!

yes, I walked to school alone/with friends, a lot/most kids did in my village ... crossing multiple roads:shocked::shocked: ) ... i was hit by a cyclist ... my fault, i didnt look when i crossed the road (even though drummed into me from as young as i remember), it hurt, it shocked me,i cried and i hobbled home. Did people wrap me in cotton wool following this, keep me under lock and key, did I suffer a mental illness, was i accompanied whenever i went out again .... did i heck! ... My mum checked i was ok, brushed me down and sent me back out to walk to school and i always treble checked the road before crossing from then on :rotfl:

PasturesNew

Scientific studies have proven than until a child is 11 they cannot be trusted to always be able to cross a road by themselves without mishap.

So, over 11, "probably their fault/didn't look"; "under 11", "wouldn't have been aware of the dangers, or able to make the correct choices/decisions, so where were the parents?"

And a few years ago some even suggested 14 is the age.
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/793862/crossing-the-road-age-children-scientists

Marvel1

And yet the same parents who think this is ok, most likely lock their doors at night.

Kim_kim

andydownes123 wrote: »

Police and social services. Lol. This is some children playing that got out of hand, not Lord of the Flies. Jeez louise.

No, this is a 5 year old, out alone, unsupervised hanging about with adolescents. Possibly vandalising cars, or with others who are vandalising cars.

Kentish_Dave

I agree with those who think that this sounds like bad parenting. The response to someone who seems to have their car vandalized by their child’s group of friends comes across as a bit “council” too.