Son in trouble - advice appreciated

Ben6112

So I am looking for some advice.

So a bit of history here. We live in a very quiet cul de sac with one tiny road to cross and a corner to go round from the park. We allow our son 5 to go to the park safe in the knowledge that he is well enough known to be safe. Some may not agree with this but it is our choice.

Tonight he came home and said an adult wished to speak with us. He had been playing with his friends. There are roughly 6 of them another 5 year old and some around 10 or 11 I believe.

I went up to be told my son had thrown a car and smashed a car window. I spoke to my son about this in private I explained he would not be in trouble if he told me the truth but I needed to know. He swore to me it was not him. I explained to the woman it wasn’t him.

She said he was witnessed doing it. I asked who by and she said the parents of the other children I explained that I know for a fact my son has a weak through in fact I received his school report today that even says in it his mobility etc doesn’t match his age. No way does he have the physical strength on his throw to break the back windscreen of a 4x4. Not to mention he isn’t the tallest kid in the world I don’t think he could even reach it.

I explained to the woman that those parents were a little biased as they were hardly going to admit it being their fault (that kind of family). To which they said he was around the corner (how they can see around corners is impressive) I explained he had come home to which they said of course he did. I tried explaining he had come home to use the toilet.

Anyway the woman claimed to have cctv on the front of her house so I said to her if she watches it and sees my son throw a stone at her car. I will apologise, pay for it and clean all the glass up etc. I don’t believe she has cctv.

She came back to say she will be sending me an invoice for her rear windscreen and her £300 car seat which has glass in it. I explained if she has proof then fine. To which she said she does. I asked to see it and she refused and said she will be sending the police around.

My son isn’t a saint he does things wrong but he always owns up when given an out he doesn’t lie. That coupled with his lack of physical strength and the height of this vehicle I honestly do not believe it was him. I believe the more likely scenario was it was one of the older children. I believe that at the time it happened he was at home.

This whole scenario has me upset and stressed. I don’t have the money to just pay for it to make my life easier or I would. I also honestly really don’t think my son did it. The people who claim he did are the parents of the other children and sit around the corner from where this car was. I feel for the woman and I really do, but I just don’t know what to do. If she showed me her proof I would honestly apologise and pay, but there isn’t any because he did not do it.

I guess I just wanted to know what other people think. Even if this other family said ok it could have been one of our kids let’s just go halves I would be ok with that but I don’t like my son being tarnished as an unruly vandal and a liar and that’s how they are acting. Not to mention I have no idea what was said to him or done to him etc before I arrived but he’s bloody terrified begging me to lock the doors incase they come.... I’m so stuck.

Ben6112

I should have preview this before posting. Thrown a stone not a car lol and he has a weak throw

suki1964

OP, I would wait for the Police involvement tbh. If she has CCTV then they can see it and decide for themselves

I think she's chancing her arm

As an aside, our daughters next door neighbours child aged 3 or 4, lifted a stone and "wrote" her name on Daughters car bonnet

Mum denied it, no evidence , my daughter had to suck it up

Marvel1

She claims to have CCTV, then she can watch and prove it - do nothing until she proves it.

Ms_Chocaholic

Also be mindful of the fact that your son is under the criminal age of responsibility so the Police can't do anything anyway in terms of a prosecution if that's what you are thinking.

SweetPotatoPie

You’re calling the woman a liar but you wasn’t there. Kids lie. That’s a fact of life. I’m not saying your son actually did do it but you can’t be 100% certain that he didn’t.
And allowing a 5 year old to go to a park in their own is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. It doesn’t matter if you think he’s safe, you only need to watch the news daily to realise that this is not the case.

onwards&upwards

Hopefully this is the wake up call that you shouldn’t be allowing your 5 YEAR OLD CHILD to wander round unsupervised.

MovingForwards

5 year old is too young to have any criminal charges.

View the CCTV and if it was your son, pay up.

Pollycat

I'd tell her that you're not paying an invoice until you've seen CCTV evidence that it really was your son who threw the stone

I'd review my 'choice' that it's acceptable for a 5 year old to go to the park on his own

I'd review my decision to allow my 5 year old to mix with children twice his age unsupervised.

I'd review my decision to allow my 5 year old to mix with children twice his age who have parents who may or may not lie about their children's involvement with wrong doing.

I'd make damn sure that I knew for certain what children my child was playing with.
'Some around 10 or 11 I believe' would not be enough for me to allow a 5 year old out unsupervised.

Socajam

I agree with MovingForwar, view the CCTV and if it your son pay up.
But I would not pay up until proof is shown as the owner of the car so rightly said that she have it on CCTV.
Otherwise let her take you to court.
If she is wise, she would take all the other mothers to court as well, just in case it is not your son.

Ms_Chocaholic

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd tell her that you're not paying an invoice until you've seen CCTV evidence that it really was your son who threw the stone

I'd review my 'choice' that it's acceptable for a 5 year old to go to the park on his own

I'd review my decision to allow my 5 year old to mix with children twice his age unsupervised.

I'd review my decision to allow my 5 year old to mix with children twice his age who have parents who may or may not lie about their children's involvement with wrong doing.

I'd make damn sure that I knew for certain what children my child was playing with.
'Some around 10 or 11 I believe' would not be enough for me to allow a 5 year old out unsupervised.

Excellent advice there, OP it would be wise to follow this.
Also when Social Services call you can tell them what action you have taken to protect your son.