Son in trouble - advice appreciated

Alan2020

This thread is shocking;
IMHO;
1. Very poor parenting, who lets a child unsupervised to play in a public park. Social services need to intervene
2. Yes a 5year old can break a back window in a car, if they are so weak, point 1, and social services should look at their welfare.
3. If I were the mum I would pay and look after my child or let someone else help.

I know it’s hard for a mum but I used to work with young people, and in parks like this you meet children without parents. They are totally out of control, things I saw (ages 4-13) including alcohol, drugs, sex, rape, beating people, shooting with air guns, stealing from vulnerable people.

Everyone blames the parents, it is !!!! poor parenting with wrong priorities, we don’t live in the third world without social support.

HampshireH

The world is a less safe place these days.

I'm in 30s and even the below makes it less safe than when i was a kid.

* More accessibility to vehicles
* Internet
* Parents allowing 5 year olds out to play
* Lack of community /adults prepared to step in
* The above caused by increase in weapons being carried and the fear of reprisals/consequences.

OP clearly isn't returning which would suggest either a wind up post or they know they are in the wrong.

Those who say it isn't negligent? Hmm. Social services do investigate stuff like this. If they didn't and another james number or holly/Jessica case were to occur they would be hauled over the coals and rightly so.

svain

Some of these posts are shameful .... Playing out at 5 is fine if quiet village cul de sac setting or park etc. ... and shame on anyone trying to suggest it is .... Should be encouraged that kids meet up at the park and burn some energy playing football etc. Perhaps if people let their kids have a little safe independance play, we wouldnt have kids growing into adults who struggle to wipe their own a*ses or use anything but a games console

blues

A 5 year old should not be playing in the park unsupervised by adults. He is vulnerable to being led into trouble by the 10/11 year olds.
Your post shows exactly why!

svain

blues wrote: »

A 5 year old should not be playing in the park unsupervised by adults. He is vulnerable to being led into trouble by the 10/11 year olds.
Your post shows exactly why!

Rubbish! ,,, On that basis every kid in the 70's and 80's would of been led into trouble .... some were, most were not

hazyjo

I'm a 70s child and was most certainly not playing outside nor wandering over to parks at the age of 5 unaccompanied! :eek:

svain

hazyjo wrote: »

I'm a 70s child and was most certainly not playing outside nor wandering over to parks at the age of 5 unaccompanied! :eek:

There were lots of us that did, day after day during school holidays meeting up and playing football in the village park and home for tea .... lifetime friends made and fun had. We didnt need to be accompanied. Everyone knew each other. Any problems and someone's parents would be somewhere nearby

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

There were lots of us that did, day after day during school holidays meeting up and playing football in the village park and home for tea .... lifetime friends made and fun had. We didnt need to be accompanied. Everyone knew each other.
Any problems and someone's parents would be somewhere nearby

As someone's parents were somewhere nearby by in this instance.
Unfortunately, those parents stitched the OP's son up. :whistle:
Not quite the same as you're portraying your childhood. Is it?

[Deleted User]

So.., if its a different world and we all agree the OP was perfectly justified in allowing a five year old on their own in the park to play with children twice her child's age. A car window has been broken, the five year old is being blamed and the OP doesn't actually know if her child was involved or not as she wasn't there. The five year old who may be completely innocent of the act, is probably getting really stressed having been questioned by the car owner, and the parent. Has some idea they are being blamed.

But its all ok. Five year olds should be allowed out on their own, has the judgement to decide who is a 'good' friend or not, what is a good act or not, able to walk away if something that is not good is happening? Yep, of course.

Could have been prevented from happening at all if the parent had chosen to be with their child. This point can not be changed.

You made a choice. Now you have the result. But so does your child, unfortunately.

Time to tell a story. Took my 9 year old to a beach play area. Sat there watching him at first, then started reading a book. He started playing with some kids in a sandpit, I couldn't see him. Wasn't worried, they're all kids, just playing, its good for them, right? They ganged up on him, he ended up with an eye full of sand, screaming, and had to go to A&E with a scratched cornea. If only I hadn't started reading a book. But at least I was there within a second AFTER it happened. Not taken my eyes off him since although he's not played with kids he doesn't know since because he was so terrified. Lesson learned. Both of us, unfortunately.

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

Some of these posts are shameful .... Playing out at 5 is fine if quiet village cul de sac setting or park etc. ... and shame on anyone trying to suggest it is .... Should be encouraged that kids meet up at the park and burn some energy playing football etc. Perhaps if people let their kids have a little safe independance play, we wouldnt have kids growing into adults who struggle to wipe their own a*ses or use anything but a games console

The child isn't playing in a 'quiet cul-de-sac' though.

The child has:

Ben6112 wrote: »

one tiny road to cross

and

Ben6112 wrote: »

and a corner to go round from the park.

WE don't know if it is a village setting or not.


The OP doesn't say he takes his child to the park and then leaves him once he knows his 'friends' are there.
The inference is that the child goes on his own.


No shame at all on people saying it's wrong to allow a 5 year old to cross a road (however tiny) and go round a corner to a park to play with children the OP clearly doesn't know.