Deressed and feeling of little worth.

donnajunkie

i dont think you are selfish at all. i do think you need a reality check. please dont take that as harshly as it sounds. why not try asking at the jobcentre about any jobsearch programmes in your area? you may find your cv isnt what it could be and they would help you put it right if that was the case. you could also enquire whether they would let you do a new deal course. they can be rubbish but if you take a chance they may get you a placement at a suitable company.
as far as voluntary work goes i am sure there are many other kinds that you could do. it isnt all charity shop type stuff. if you check out the site of the organisation i volunteer for the work is far from the charity work most people think of. we get out and about and do things like plant trees, build gates, put in footpaths etc. there maybe something like that in your area or if that type of work isnt for you there maybe something else of interest. i am only pushing voluntary work because i do believe it can help and as i said it would look good on your cv.
it does sound however like you may need councilling, so i would ask your gp about that.

dmg24

Is it possible for you to move back to London? Realistically, do you think that it would help you, or would you still feel the same?

Try not to think of your being poorly as a step backwards as such, but maybe a step towards self awareness? You have recognised that you have a problem, and the fact that you have recognised it yourself should be applauded.

Do you have anything to look forward to, or anything to keep you busy? I do cross stitch when I can't do much else, although many of my 'friends' laugh at it, but it gives me a focus, and if I am concentrating on that I cannot be dwelling on everything that is wrong.

Where I live there is a local group that goes on gentle walks two mornings a week. I haven't plucked up the nerve to go yet, but if there is something like that near you it may be a way for you to meet new people? x

London_Exile

Donna, the people at the jobcentre are the most useless employed people I have ever come across, when they are not moaning at you for changing your signing date because you have an interview they treat you like scum and are really not helpful - I'm sorry but you go into the JC and discuss what your skills are and what experience you have (in my case IT, mainly desktop, 1st and 2nd line support) and they offer you a job sticking labels on ready meals for the minimum wage! Oh, as for help with training? Forget it! I've asked repeatedly only to be told that i don't qualify as;

1) i can read and write.
2) have basic skills needed to get a job.

It seems though that anyone else can get anything else from them. Forgive me if I sound angry, but I'm not workshy and don't think that a giro equals a salary, like most other people I've met in the JC.

I'm happy with the charity I'm volunteering with and what it promotes I just need some mental stimulation!

From what i can make out, for some jobs my CV is too good (ie; the crap junior IT job) and not good enough for the better ones!

I had counselling last year, but had to pay myself as the wait was nearly three months on the NHS. I don't have that luxury anymore.

London_Exile

Dmg, we are moving back to London ASAP, after Christmas. I think it would help me and the wife greatly as it's where we have both lived all our lives, friends, family and familiar surroundings are all there. And I hope a better chance of getting the kind of job I want, as most interviews I've one of the first things that come up is why do i want to work in London when i live up here in P'boro.

Well, most of the free time I've got at the moment is spent trying to get the house ready to put on the market.

London_Exile

ts-aly2000, thanks! You've given me a laugh with your post! I am trying to swim, but right now i feel like I'm sinking! I'm doing a lot of reflecting right now i know where I want to be and when, it's just being given the chance to get there. I'm not in control over who may offer me a job.

I must say, that I feel better having other objective inputs to this thread. Tomorrow is another day.......

Larumbelle

I came on this thread hoping to help. I'm going to ignore all of the insults being thrown at jobcentre staff as I am one of them, and hope for your sake that nobody you are applying for a job with is judging you or generalising about you in the same way. I won't deny that some jobcentre staff are the pits, but some of us are actually decent hardworking human beings who want and try to help people, and DO care less. And I know that it sucks that everything is geared up towards disadvantaged groups, I'd prefer to help everyone who wants it rather than chasing after those who patently don't. Anyway, that's a whole other thread and not why I came here.

I am a Cambridgeshire exile myself, the best place to job-hunt in IT round there would be Cambridge if you can stand the commute and have the means. Do you have a car? (I'm not sure if there is now a direct train there from Peterborough? You used to have to go down to Hitchin and back up which would be no use.) You can even commute to London if needs be, my father and brother both do and I think it takes about an hour by train. Not perfect, I know, but it is easier to find a job once you have a job, if you see what I mean.

If you wanted to post your CV up I could take a look at it and suggest any way of improving it? Do you use a generic one or tweak it according to the position you are applying for? Also, have you registered it with the online job-seeking sites as they can be useful in IT. Finally, are you checking the job seekers direct site / phoneline regularly as it is not just minimum wage jobs that are advertised.

It is really hard not to get depressed if you are sat twiddling your thumbs all day. I agree with TS that you need to get yourself doing something, just to get you out and about a bit. Maybe it would be worth doing some volunteering? You'd be helping people which might help to raise your self-esteem, plus it would look good on your CV and might help you widen your social circle as well. I have suffered from severe depression and I found that it helped.

Try talking to your GP again. Ask to be referred to the mental health team or contact them directly: 01945 482129. You may find they can bump you up the waiting list. Anti-ds are a bit hit and miss, if the SSSIs don't help there are lots of other types that work in a completely different way. This is why you need to get a referral to a specialist who can better judge what might suit you.

:grouphug: Please don't get into the cycle of looking backwards. It won't help and will only bring you down. As for being a joke amongst your friends, well, they are your friends so far from laughing they are probably worried about you but don't quite know how to approach the subject.

debbiedeejay

London_Exile, Sorry to hear about your current situation and I agree with a lot that has already been posted. You need support of others and that probably means chatting to your GP and sorting your meds out in the short term.Being close to your family and friends will also be important.
Do you do any exercise at the moment? That may help to take some stress out of the day too.
Have you thought about offering your excellent IT skills to teach others?Even though you are feeling really down at the moment there are definately undertones of a great teacher there.

And for your wife....don't forget your relationship together-keep talking to her,I know you said you don't wnat to wear her down too, but its important for you both to keep chatting.....and use the time to catch up on those things you always wished you could do but was at work.
I am sure you sound like a person that WILL get back on track and be succesful.

Good luck and keep us informed of how it goes.

donnajunkie

London_Exile wrote: »

Donna, the people at the jobcentre are the most useless employed people I have ever come across, when they are not moaning at you for changing your signing date because you have an interview they treat you like scum and are really not helpful - I'm sorry but you go into the JC and discuss what your skills are and what experience you have (in my case IT, mainly desktop, 1st and 2nd line support) and they offer you a job sticking labels on ready meals for the minimum wage! Oh, as for help with training? Forget it! I've asked repeatedly only to be told that i don't qualify as;

1) i can read and write.
2) have basic skills needed to get a job.

It seems though that anyone else can get anything else from them. Forgive me if I sound angry, but I'm not workshy and don't think that a giro equals a salary, like most other people I've met in the JC.

I'm happy with the charity I'm volunteering with and what it promotes I just need some mental stimulation!

From what i can make out, for some jobs my CV is too good (ie; the crap junior IT job) and not good enough for the better ones!

I had counselling last year, but had to pay myself as the wait was nearly three months on the NHS. I don't have that luxury anymore.

yeah, jobcentre staff can be bad. they can also be good. i have had help from them at times. you mentioned moving a signing time well doing things like that can provoke a silly reaction from them some times. so its best to not rock the boat with them. i know you had an interview but maybe the best thing would have been to ask the company if you can move the interview because you had to sign on. i think i have done that a few times and the companies have always been fine with that. so that is a big must, dont annoy the jobcentre or they are likely to upset you.
you dont have to lack skills to get on a course. i have been on courses and i dont lack skills. as far as new deal goes they generally put you on that if you have been out of work for 18 months but i am sure you can ask to go on it earlier. i will say again though, new deal can be bad but it could also end up being worth taking the chance.
i think your plan to move back to london is probably a good one.

there is a certain consensus through peoples posts here. well some suggest volunteering, some suggest doing exercise and some suggest getting a hobby. i think all 3 would be able to have a similar positive affect.

Larumbelle

Can I just add that it disgusts me that JCP staff have kicked off at you having to change your signing on appointment for a job interview. Please make a formal complaint to JCP about it. It is against our SOM and unfortunately nobody listens to us insiders. If you complained it might make a difference. If you need to know who to complain to, tell me and I will let you know!

Terrylw1

London,

I know what you mean. You know what the signs are as you have suffered clinical depression. Do you think you are relapsing? If so, get yourself staright down to your GP. You may not need medication staright away but at least they can refer you or offer support and give you an idea of what you need to do.

Seriously, walking will help. Just go out for a good walk everyday. It will cler your mind, help you sleep better and give you some exercise.

Exercise (do some cardio work) is proven to lift your spirits as it helps your serotonin levels. This in turn helps you to sleep as your serotonin levels are veyr important to your melatonin levels. Hence why they use SSRI's to treat depression.

Some others have said - you are not depressed, you are just naturally responding. Ok, thats true to some extent but it's not true to someone who suffers from depression. People who suffer from depression make a small thing into a mountain to climb.

Thats something that those who haven't suffered just don't understand.

Your situation is a known contributor to depression.

Speak to your GP.