Renting a Room when you are gay

mrdavid

Hi everyone,

This is cheeky of me because this is my first post, but I know that there is a wealth of information when it comes to renting rooms; albeit seemingly on the side of the homeowner/tenant of the overall property.

I find it very difficult finding advice for this, though, I haven't asked this on any LGBT forums which likely should have been my first step.

From what I have read specifically on the MSE forums the general consensus is that: "it's your home so you can set the rules." Etc.

I am looking to rent a room within the next few months but I am nervous because I am gay, and not because I'm going to have endless partners in the house I am in a long term relationship.

However, what I am interested to find out is whether for persons that do let out room(s) whether someone's sexuality is something that should be stated when first enquiring, of course the bias being someone that is LGBT.

Of course, persons/families religious views may go against someone who is gay, and persons views and beliefs in general that aren't related to religion.

So, if I were to enquire as a gay man on a room ad: would it be preferable for my sexual orientation to be stated from the get go?

Thank you for anyone that shares any experience and/or advice.

PS: I will absolutely not be offended if this is something you would not like, so please be truthful in your responses.

ScottishSaver14

I would imagine it depends entirely on the (I presume) live in owner or your other roommates?

If you're looking to rent with like-minded young/professional/etc etc whatever demographic you would consider yourself a part of then I struggle to see why it would be a problem.

If your options are limited to an older couple who's son left home so they have a spare room, I can imagine there would be a bit more awkwardness...but I honestly think you're overthinking it. No one should expect you to state your sexual preference...and if they do then I think that says more about what they're looking for than anything.


You're just going to have to be pragmatic about it. When I was renting rooms and in a relationship (F/M) I knew there were some people who wouldn't be comfortable in me bringing my partner back to stay over. So we stayed over at his.

I really don't think you need to state it from the get go pepper it in to conversation if you feel you should, but imo you're overthinking it.

pphillips

I think for the reasons you have already stated, it is better to be upfront from the start. That way you avoid an awkward situation and a wasted journey.

00ec25

you want to be a lodger in a property that is home to its owner...

common sense therefore says you need to be upfront with the landlord so both you and they know how the land lies as it is almost certain the law of averages says you will come across someone deeply uncomfortable with having such a situation in their own home

FreeBear

mrdavid wrote: »

Thank you for anyone that shares any experience and/or advice.

The two young women that are renting my spare rooms are openly gay. I personally, don't have a problem with their sexuality. If anything, I encourage them to be open and honest about it. I would suggest you do the same.

onwards&upwards

Best to be upfront, for your own safety more than anything else.

coffeehound

If I recall, spareroom.co.uk have tickboxes to indicate ones orientation and any preferences for tenants, should you want to indicate those. Saves putting it in the advert text

ancientofdays

About 40 years ago, we let a room to a female lodger. She was hay, there was no issue for us.

GDB2222

I think the big question is whether you plan to bring your partner back to your room? The owners are renting the room to you, they'll have met you, and they'll have decided that they are happy enough having you in their home. If suddenly they discover a complete stranger in the house one morning, because you've brought your partner back for the night, that's a potential problem.

It's clear that you need to establish the ground rules very clearly before moving in, but I really don't think you need to start the conversation with a statement about your sexuality. It's a bit OTT to do that. The ground rules would cover lots of things, such as cooking very fragrant foods, and visitors generally, not just overnight.

I'm not sure how people renting out a room handle this, generally? Do they rent out the room with a single bed, in which case I guess they are giving a message that overnight visitors are unwelcome? Or do they have a double bed, but rent the room to couples, in which case they'll want to meet both partners before signing the lodger agreement?

I have a couple of flats I rent out, but that's completely different, and I don't care about sexual orientation. In my own house, I personally would not care, but I can see that others might. Curiously, I abhor tattoos and piercings, so I would have difficulty renting a room to someone with lots of those on display!

DE5T1NY

Renting a room should not be a problem if everyone involve have no hidden agenda.


They want your money not your history.


Stay within the rules, read the contract :T unlike someone I know , and everything should be fine.


I work in the UUJ at jordanstown just on the fringe of Belfast and see flyers on the wall outside the students union every day, not one ever asks the Sexuality/Gender of the person the requester is looking to foot the bill, and this is a country that have different religious views one any subject.

Not sure if you are a student or not but google and read "LGBTACTIONPLANIMPROVING THE LIVES OF LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER PEOPLE" it might give you better info on you quest, if you ever come across bigots in your quest just hold your head up high and find somewhere else.

shortcrust

It shouldn’t matter, but it does. You need to be upfront for your own benefit, not theirs. You really don’t want to find you’re sharing a home with a raging homophobe who’ll make life miserable. I’d just include it in your bio.