Snooping OH’s banking - gambling, loans

newatc

If my wife, of over 40 years, had looked at my cheque account before we were married, she probably wouldn't have married me. She would have seen large bookmaking transactions in and out. Our marriage has been great and financially comfortable.
Now if he has really got an addiction that is a problem that he needs to get help on but only small % of those who gamble have an addiction just as only % of those who drink are alcoholic.
Your obvious first step is to talk your concerns with him highlighting what brought the negative thoughts to your mind pre-snooping.
Good luck.

Ozzuk

Snooping comes up a lot on here, more often related to suspected affairs. And normally I'd agree, snooping is bad, potentially illegal.

However, I dont agree in this instance. If there has been a serious problem in the past, and the OP states he promised to stop gambling (which suggests there was), then as OP I'd be insisting on access to accounts, and getting him blocked from gambling sites. Sure that partner needs to help themselves and want to resolve the issue, but given the history and as children/future marriage are involved then more checks than just his word seem wholly appropriate. Trust is great, but that person needs to be trustworthy.

Primrose

If your husband really wants to gamble, get him to pay off his debts and then use his pocket money to buy premium bonds.
He may not make a lot of money but he won,t lose it either and he can have his gambling excitement once a month when he checks the results.

surveyqueenuk

Well it seems very obvious to me that the company in question are a marketing and outdoor advertising operation.

A multi-channel marketing company to be precise. A multi-channel marketing company who now have their name being entered into Google and other search engines. Leading to more hits on their website, pushing the site further and further up the search results.

How interesting...

seashore22

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

Well it seems very obvious to me that the company in question are a marketing and outdoor advertising operation.

A multi-channel marketing company to be precise. A multi-channel marketing company who now have their name being entered into Google and other search engines. Leading to more hits on their website, pushing the site further and further up the search results.

How interesting...

Now there's a thought. I certainly googled them (more than once). I hadn't thought of that at all. Grudgingly impressed by their ploy, if that's what it is.

It seems a somewhat niche why of achieving a rise in ratings though. I haven't checked how many people have viewed this thread, but suspect it would take more than those numbers to make any real difference.

Edit - 2,600 views. More than I would have thought.

MEM62

Greengiraffe wrote: »

He’s promised in the past he was going to stop and said he’d cancelled all his accounts but I can see the past 2 weeks he’s deposited £1000 with Gala online.

That's wedding off in my book. No trust, no marriage. The alternative is a life of lies, deceit and financial struggle.

Malthusian

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

Well it seems very obvious to me that the company in question are a marketing and outdoor advertising operation.

A multi-channel marketing company to be precise. A multi-channel marketing company who now have their name being entered into Google and other search engines. Leading to more hits on their website, pushing the site further and further up the search results.

And making the CEOs reading this thread more likely to buy advertising from the already extremely famous, 6 billion dollar turnover multinational advertising company?

That's about as plausible as someone with the user name JaneMcDonald posting about how her son drives her up the wall and you saying it's to boost the SEO ratings of a fast food chain.

Doozergirl

Malthusian wrote: »

And making the CEOs reading this thread more likely to buy advertising from the already extremely famous, 6 billion dollar turnover multinational advertising company?

That's about as plausible as someone with the user name JaneMcDonald posting about how her son drives her up the wall and you saying it's to boost the SEO ratings of a fast food chain.

I used to work for a UK subsidiary. The day someone in the USA accidentally sent an email to the entire organisation and people started replying was a busy day for emails!

Why send a 'reply to all' email telling people to stop 'replying to all' :wall: :rotfl:

No one is trying to get them up the Google ratings on this thread. That's absurd. 2,600 views is nothing - they'd get more than that from just one of their billboards in a morning in London.

flanker6

MEM62 wrote: »

That's wedding off in my book. No trust, no marriage. The alternative is a life of lies, deceit and financial struggle.

I'm writing this from the perspective of someone that used to be addicted to online gambling.


Giving up gambling is a very hard, angst-ridden process. You will have to make a decision about how committed you are to supporting him along that process . . . and indeed, if he is totally committed to giving up the gambling.


Be prepared to be lied to (many times), to find out family funds have been used (many times) and to be resented for trying to get him to give up.


If you are going to support him through the process, get it started asap. The more ingrained his habits become, the harder it will be to shake them.
He has to be prepared to hand over all financial management to you! If he has cards or online banking access, it will be used (at some point) to fund gambling. He should be only given cash to conduct his living expenses.


Sorry to sound negative . . . but this is bringing back cold memories of what a vile person an addiction can make a person become.

silverwhistle

Thanks for your honesty. Personal experience is why (a few trolls aside) these boards are so useful.