Snooping OH’s banking - gambling, loans

Greengiraffe

Yeah I know, I’m terrible for doing it but I’ve had concerns my other half has been gambling online again so I logged onto his banking on his phone and yeah I can see he’s been depositing large amounts to online games and gambling sites. But I was concerned to see that he had a large deposit to him that he didn’t mention. It came from “Clear Channel UK” and was for £2000. I have of course googled them but they appear to be a advertising company. Anybody any idea why they’d be sending him money? Are they the trading name of a loan company or one of his gaming sites and it’s actually a big win? I’m going to address it with him but I’d rather be armed with the right information before I go in to it with him. Like if he’s taken out a loan I’m angry. If he’s won money I’m very angry it’s not gone to the holiday and wedding we’re currently saving for. I can’t see why this advertising company would be paying him any money, I’m so confused.
Also, anyone any advice on addressing online gambling issues with their other half’s? He’s promised in the past he was going to stop and said he’d cancelled all his accounts but I can see the past 2 weeks he’s deposited £1000 with Gala online.

chesky

I wouldn't be saving money for a wedding with this man unless I was 100% certain he was recovered from his addiction. That's what gambling is in his case. And addicts can never be relied on to tell the truth.

Pollycat

+1 to this ^^^^

Greengiraffe

Yes. The wedding is one of a number of things we’re saving for. It’s a long term saving plan so nothing we are rushing into in the immediate future.
I just wanted to back myself up with more information on the large deposit into his account before raising the subject with him. As if it’s a loan he’s taken out then things are more serious than I thought. If it’s winnings then it’s part of the gambling issue that I’m going to be raising with him anyway. But a loan is something that’s never happened before but I need the correct information before I confront him with it as he can just tell me it’s something else and I’ll have no way of knowing if it’s the truth or not. I can’t find anything online to suggest what the money from Clear Channel UK could be for though.

Fire_Fox

Greengiraffe wrote: »

I’m going to address it with him but I’d rather be armed with the right information before I go in to it with him. Like if he’s taken out a loan I’m angry. If he’s won money I’m very angry it’s not gone to the holiday and wedding we’re currently saving for. I can’t see why this advertising company would be paying him any money, I’m so confused.

Also, anyone any advice on addressing online gambling issues with their other half’s? He’s promised in the past he was going to stop and said he’d cancelled all his accounts but I can see the past 2 weeks he’s deposited £1000 with Gala online.

Welcome to MSE.

The emboldened SCREAMS serious problem.

He needs to seek professional help for his gambling addiction. He needs to want to. He needs to seek it. He needs to stick with it.

Read gambling addiction websites. Protect your half of any savings and everyday money before you approach your partner.

Expect him to lie to your face even about things you know - gaslighting - or deflect onto you 'snooping'.

tehone

Maybe he's sold them an advertising hoarding space on the side of your house

The 2 real issues here though are
1) Your snooping
2) His addiction

You both to to work on these issues before you hurt each other any more

Greengiraffe

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Welcome to MSE.

The emboldened SCREAMS serious problem.

He needs to seek professional help for his gambling addiction. He needs to want to. He needs to seek it. He needs to stick with it.

Read gambling addiction websites. Protect your half of any savings and everyday money before you approach your partner.

Expect him to lie to your face even about things you know - gaslighting - or deflect onto you 'snooping'.

Yes I was fully aware he liked to play little gambling games online and have addressed this with him in the past. But the amount this pay couple of weeks scares me. He wouldn’t of been able to spend that amount if he hadn’t received the £2000 that I have no idea where it came from. He simply couldn’t of afforded to without it. Its why I really need to know the source of the money as it’s a far bigger issue if he’s borrowing money to gamble.
Thanks for the advice. My money is separate from his. He without fail transfers me half of the household expenses and he has no savings of his own and he has no access to mine and our children’s savings are in children’s ISAs that neither of us can access.
Yes my fear is that me looking at his online banking will be made into more of an issue than the gambling so I just want to be fully informed on what is going on before bringing this up with him so he can’t talk his way around it and lie about it.

MovingForwards

As with any addiction the person with it has to want to stop, the next step is seeking help to overcome the addiction and address and triggers.

Clear Channel could be a loan company, it shows up as one, but no jumping to conclusions.

Clear channel, The media company are also recruiting.

If you have any joint accounts get your name off, or his name, quickly.

Speak with him and if you are not happy with anything delve deeper or give yourself some space to think.

DUTR

Greengiraffe wrote: »

Yeah I know, I’m terrible for doing it but I’ve had concerns my other half has been gambling online again so I logged onto his banking on his phone and yeah I can see he’s been depositing large amounts to online games and gambling sites. But I was concerned to see that he had a large deposit to him that he didn’t mention. It came from “Clear Channel UK” and was for £2000. I have of course googled them but they appear to be a advertising company. Anybody any idea why they’d be sending him money? Are they the trading name of a loan company or one of his gaming sites and it’s actually a big win? I’m going to address it with him but I’d rather be armed with the right information before I go in to it with him. Like if he’s taken out a loan I’m angry. If he’s won money I’m very angry it’s not gone to the holiday and wedding we’re currently saving for. I can’t see why this advertising company would be paying him any money, I’m so confused.
Also, anyone any advice on addressing online gambling issues with their other half’s? He’s promised in the past he was going to stop and said he’d cancelled all his accounts but I can see the past 2 weeks he’s deposited £1000 with Gala online.

Snooping and not even married yet
Whilst addictive vices are not good, everyone is entitled to some life and pleasures, it doesn't seem like you are both going to add to each others contentment in the long term.

Greengiraffe

DUTR wrote: »

Snooping and not even married yet
Whilst addictive vices are not good, everyone is entitled to some life and pleasures, it doesn't seem like you are both going to add to each others contentment in the long term.

Pleasures are all good and well but we have children that need fed, clothed and housed. I can’t ignore that amount of money being spent on things other than our family.

Greengiraffe

MovingForwards wrote: »

As with any addiction the person with it has to want to stop, the next step is seeking help to overcome the addiction and address and triggers.

Clear Channel could be a loan company, it shows up as one, but no jumping to conclusions.

Clear channel, The media company are also recruiting.

If you have any joint accounts get your name off, or his name, quickly.

Speak with him and if you are not happy with anything delve deeper or give yourself some space to think.

Oh really? I couldn’t find anything linking it to a loan company but this was my first suspicion.
No we have no joint accounts.