Daughter opened account in Hubby's name

MEM62

johnsmith1890 wrote: »

You should get specialist help on this one, and such help does not come from the likes of the police or Action Fraud.

Yes it does. My OH's son received a lot of support initiated with the help of the Police after he was found committing CC fraud. Reporting the matter does not exclusively lead to punishment, it also leads to help with addressing the issue.

dealer_wins

Not buying the mental illness and anxiety im afraid. Your daughter knows exactly what she is doing, knows you are weak, and is taking severe advantage of you both and you need to report her asap.

heartbreak_star

dealer_wins wrote: »

Not buying the mental illness and anxiety im afraid. Your daughter knows exactly what she is doing, knows you are weak, and is taking severe advantage of you both and you need to report her asap.

Ever heard of bipolar? That's a mental illness that can make you do crazy impulsive things...

HBS x

xlnc99

Exodi wrote: »

Are just raising post count or do you genuinely believe the waffle you type?

Clearly you are the daft one. First of all Criminal convictions dont just erase from your file, they stay on your record for life. CIFAS on the other hand remain for 6 years. Perhaps you are the type of person who doesnt mind if your son/daughter has a criminal record and put yourself over your family no matter what mistakes your family has made. Each to their own but i would protect my family at all costs.

sleepyjones

Wow, so sorry you're going through this ... In all honesty, I wouldn't even try to post advice on a matter like this because it has too many far reaching consequences.

I think professional advice would be the way to the go though, I don't know if an organisation like Relate might be able to help in any way, might be worth a try.

You realise that something has to be done, which is the first step so well done for taking that step. If you don't take, some kind of, action now where does it end? ... she remortgages the house, cashes out your pension? (I don't even know if it would be possible to do these things) but take action, be that police, counselling or whatever. Even for the grandchild, what happens when you're gone, she inherits the house and any assets and fritters it all away leaving your grandchild with nothing.

It's a really sorry and sad situation, but importantly remember none of this is your fault (either of the parents), you have done nothing wrong so you should not feel embarrassed or ashamed ... but I would say get professional advice, it's easy for us to pass judgement and make suggestions or offer advice, albeit in good faith (mostly), but for something as serious as this I would seek the help of a professional (no offence to any posters on here, but I don't know your backgrounds).

HopeAndDriftWood

Incase it helps at all, I was in a similar situation, although it was my mum running up debts in my name because of her mental health difficulties. The first two overdrafts I managed to get closed as I was under 18 when they let her use them. She used two credit cards, I talked to her and she seemed sorry - I paid those off. It seemed to settle down for a few years, but actually she'd just been more careful. She'd put her heating bill in my name, her internet - when she stopped paying them, they chased me.

Eventually there was so much debt. I asked for advice here and was told to write to the banks involved and complain - that the accounts were not mine, and they needed to take it seriously. They did, but they also reported everything to the police. I got four Action Fraud references, and two accounts closed. The third account took two years of arguing to have it closed down, the last accounts have just been removed now, years later.

Eventually, my mum was arrested. It was nothing to do with me, but reporting it meant they could build a 'picture' of her activity, and as it was repeated fraud (although not hugely high value), they pursued it. I was quite surprised, because everyone had told me that nobody looks into these things, and Action Fraud themselves had said that they wouldn't be pursuing it!

We are no contact now, although not because she was arrested. In hindsight, trying to take the halfway road didn't help anyone - she'd be in the same situation if I'd just reported her myself, and I'd have found it easier to get the accounts closed.