Daughter opened account in Hubby's name

SamWin

My daughter suffers from mental illness and anxiety which has led to a lot of problems in regards to money. She not only got access to most of my husbands credit cards and gambled on them up to the limit but she opened a paypal credit account in his name and spent up to the limit. She promised to pay them back but didn't and now we have to take on the debt.

We contacted paypal who told us that because it was family it would not be counted as fraud and nothing could be done. Is this the case? Hubby rang me in tears today as he is at the end of his tether. He is hoping to retire in December and already is using most of his lump sum to pay off the credit card debts.

I guess we didn't and don't want our daughter to be prosecuted but it all seems so awful and sad and Paypal were unhelpful to the extreme.

[Deleted User]

It still counts fraud, but you'll need to report it (and her) to Action Fraud.

If your priority is to protect her, then you'll need to clear the debt yourself.

Socajam

SamWin wrote: »

My daughter suffers from mental illness and anxiety which has led to a lot of problems in regards to money. She not only got access to most of my husbands credit cards and gambled on them up to the limit but she opened a paypal credit account in his name and spent up to the limit. She promised to pay them back but didn't and now we have to take on the debt.

We contacted paypal who told us that because it was family it would not be counted as fraud and nothing could be done. Is this the case? Hubby rang me in tears today as he is at the end of his tether. He is hoping to retire in December and already is using most of his lump sum to pay off the credit card debts.

I guess we didn't and don't want our daughter to be prosecuted but it all seems so awful and sad and Paypal were unhelpful to the extreme.

This may sound cold, but if you had prosecuted your daughter the first time, you would never be in this situation. By not doing anything you have enabled her to gambled away your hard earned cash.

My sister did something to me, I called the police and that was the last time she messed with me.
Today I am the only member of the family that she shows respect to, because I did not put up with her feeling that she is entitled to what is not hers. Mentally ill or not I would have stopped this the first time.

MEM62

SamWin wrote: »

My daughter suffers from mental illness and anxiety which has led to a lot of problems in regards to money.
I am sorry to hear of your difficulties.
She not only got access to most of my husbands credit cards and gambled on them up to the limit but she opened a paypal credit account in his name and spent up to the limit. She promised to pay them back but didn't and now we have to take on the debt.
No, you don't. You report it as fraud.

We contacted paypal who told us that because it was family it would not be counted as fraud and nothing could be done. Is this the case?
No. We had a similar situation and, initially Halifax too a similar stance. However, a formal complaint changed their response. You have to push.
Hubby rang me in tears today as he is at the end of his tether. He is hoping to retire in December and already is using most of his lump sum to pay off the credit card debts. Stop paying the debts that are fraudulent immediately and report them as such.
I guess we didn't and don't want our daughter to be prosecuted but it all seems so awful and sad and Paypal were unhelpful to the extreme.

You may feel that you are protecting you daughter by dealing wit this yourselves and not reporting the fraud. The truth is that you are not. You are enabling her and wrecking your finances in the process. I understand that it is difficult but you have to deal with this based on what it is - fraud.

Candyapple

johnsmith1890 wrote: »

Ridiculous suggestion. Do nothing of the sort. Sort it out within the family.

Why is it a ridiculous suggestion? Regardless of mental illness, the daughter knows right from wrong and would know that stealing her dad's money and run up gambling debt should involve some form of repercussion. Where does it end? What if her next move was to start with the mum's accounts and abusing those too?


Step 1: Obtain copies of all 3 of both yours and your husband's credit reports.

The free versions to check your credit files are below:
Experian: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub
Call Credit: https://www.noddle.co.uk
Equifax: https://www.clearscore.com

Step 2: Report ID theft to police in order to obtain a crime reference number:
http://www.actionfraud.police.uk/fraud_protection/identity_fraud

Step 3: Write to all lenders on your files who your daughter has taken out accounts in your/your husband's name and inform them that

a) the account was opened fraudulently by ID theft

b) supply them with the crime reference number so that they know you have reported it to the police and if they need to pursue costs they know who to contact

c) Ask them to remove the accounts from your files

Step 4: Sign up for CIFAS protective registration to prevent your daughter from doing this again in the future.
https://www.cifas.org.uk/pr_for_individuals

Breadcake

SamWin wrote: »

...
We contacted paypal who told us that because it was family it would not be counted as fraud and nothing could be done. Is this the case? ...
I guess we didn't and don't want our daughter to be prosecuted but it all seems so awful and sad and Paypal were unhelpful to the extreme.

While it is a difficult position you are in, you need to understand Paypals position, can you imagine how many people would take advantage if a person could "frauduently" use a family members account or open one in their name without any repurcussions on the individual?

SamWin

If we report this to the police will they prosecute or arrest our daughter. We have a two year old grandaughter and she needs her mum - I hate to sound pathetic but it is really, really hard and I don't know where to turn to be honest.

Breadcake

I'm by no means an expert, but a quick search showed results from community service for one off - simple fraud, to 10 years prison for very sophisicated, multiple counts of fraud amounting to millions of pounds.

It sounds like the option you're wanting to take is to not report it, which therefore someone has to settle the bills (your daughter, yourself or your husband).
Then take the steps others have been kind enough to post that details ways of making sure it doesn't happen again.

Candyapple

SamWin wrote: »

If we report this to the police will they prosecute or arrest our daughter. We have a two year old grandaughter and she needs her mum - I hate to sound pathetic but it is really, really hard and I don't know where to turn to be honest.

How much debt did she run up on your husband's cards and Paypal account?

PRAISETHESUN

As has been discussed above, there are only really two options: 1) to report it to the police as fraud and see what happens to your daughter, or 2) accept liability for the debt and pay it off yourself (with or without your daughter's assistance). There is unfortunately no middle ground here - legally unless you tell them otherwise, the debt is in your husband's name and is his to pay. The lenders will understandably want their money back regardless of who actually accrued the debt. It's difficult when family is involved, but personally I feel this is a good opportunity to put your foot down to make sure you aren't taken advantage of again (potentially much later in life when your ability to pay it back would be even more diminished!)

Candyapple

PRAISETHESUN wrote: »

It's difficult when family is involved, but personally I feel this is a good opportunity to put your foot down to make sure you aren't taken advantage of again (potentially much later in life when your ability to pay it back would be even more diminished!)

They are already having to use the husband's pension payment to clear the debt so it's not like things aren't worse case scenario already!

SamWin wrote: »

Hubby rang me in tears today as he is at the end of his tether. He is hoping to retire in December and already is using most of his lump sum to pay off the credit card debts.

If your husband is retiring, how are you going to pay for your retirement/your future if the money is going towards clearing the debt? Will he go back to work? What an awful position your daughter has put you both in.